Remaining Friends With The Ex?

I haven’t been married, but from what I’ve seen, most exes are not friends, but a lot of them stay cordial because they have kids together.

You really need to move on buddy. Your wife isn't coming back and she doesn't want to be your friend. There is a total separation and it was brought on, at least in part, due to your actions.

Your life will be so much better when you accept this reality and you might be able to start to heal.

P.S. It's difficult to be friends with the ex with a restraining order in place.

I’m friends with both of my ex’s. The first one and I were so different it’s no wonder we aren’t together. But we still chat from time to time. My second was the one who destroyed me. We didn’t talk for 5 years. Guess who wants to get back together? I’ve got an SO now and it’s a train wreck so who knows? One thing I do know is regardless what I do I’m never saying I do again.

In 35 years of divorce law I would say about 20% of my clients have remained very friendly with their ex, 40% would have them murdered if they thought they could get away with it and the other 40% fall somewhere in between. When I first started I'd say 50% remained friendly.

wildbourbon knows nothing about me and speaks nothing of me which has any truth in it.

For everyone else, thank you so much for your info.

To me, the kind of wall which goes up when an intimate relationships fails has never seemed right or necessary.

It really seems like marriage itself is the problem, it creates hell, and it creates these walls in its wake.

I want to make a better way. But I am not sure if I would ever want my ex to be involved in it.

SJG

Your ex will never be involved because she doesn't want anything to do with you.

You can try to discredit what I'm saying, but I'm just repeating what you've said in other threads about your life. You can deny whatever you want but you've posted it all.

Clean, complete and absolute breaks are what I advocate. The past is just that...the past. Close that chapter, learn and move on.

Thankfully, no children in the equation, so my perspective is based on just nuking entirely what bonds existed between two souls without kids to fuck it up.

JohnTitor, I understand your position. But you also must see then that this puts the ex in a one of a kind position. And this would be true, even though she is not necessarily any different from any other woman. She has not be tested and judged to be inadequate. Usually, quite the opposite.

As I see it, the culprit is marriage

of course it's marriage's fault not your lloyd

It took a couple years, but I'm friendly with my ex. At year two, she told me she wanted to get back together. I refused, but I did have sex with her (which was quite enjoyable). We don't live in the same city, but we do email from time to time. We we're young when she decided to leave. I forgave her and moved.on to better things (like front room make out sessions).

Suck it up SJG, face the music and take some responsibility for your life. You are like a scratched record constantly repeating itself over and over. You absolve yourself of any personal responsibility and project your misfortune by blaming other things or people. Thats why people think you are nuts. If I diddnt know any better I would think you are some kinda thinly veiled troll autobot.

SJG: "MY PRIVACY IS SACROSANCT!

But for a moment, let's talk about my ex wife..."

And Uprightcitizen, you sound like a worthless piece of SHIT!

SJG

I had a dream about my ex last night.

Had a bunch of those in the last months, all very disturbing.

This one though, it was good. Wonder what this means?

I don't see how she could ever be any part of my future life. But on the other hand it does not seem fair to 100% cut her out. I do not hold animosity towards her. Had we not ever had been married, there would be zero rift. Marriage is the problem, not the individuals.

Maybe the future holds things I do not yet know.

SJG

Yardbirds youtube.com

You hold tons of animosity towards Marites, you post about it constantly, you really don't think you're fooling anyone but yourself right? No one likes you, you fucking spastic creep.

Its been rough on Lloyd...

I’m on better speaking terms with my ex now - than when I was married. We stay close because of our kids. I know that I fucked up, and I accept responsibility for the issues caused.

I don’t ever see us being together again. I have no fantasy visions of a reunion. But we get along - because we were friends (as well as marital partners). The friendship is still there. We spent over 20 years together.

I’m guessing SJG wasn’t with his ex for as long, and I’m guessing they don’t have children together either, so the bond may not linger for both, as they don’t have the ties formed with time and children.

Lloyd's ex-wife doesn't want anything from him but the alimony check.

Thanks for the info there Cashman. The more things go on, the more convinced I am that it is not the partners who are bad, it is the institution of marriage itself.

SJG

Karl Marx, A-Life youtube.com

Hey Lloyd, Marites called...

Oh wait, no she didn't.

Me and my ex still communicate much, but it's most due to the five kids we have. Oldest is a preteen so we'll pretty much be like this for many years to come.

We do communicate sometimes about affairs going on I the others life and some random stuff. Once we both unexpectedly met each other at the doctor's office so that was somewhat awkward, but we shared why we were there.

As crazy as it sounds I helped her move into her new house having to lift alongside her boyfriend. But that got me some free pizza and beer. We also had Thanksgiving together the past three years.

It's weird I'll admit, but I know a big part of us communicate, doing things is because of our young kids. I'm often criticized by family and friends because of how we are.

^^^^^ Thanks for sharing that Ch3ll

SJG

Friends, SJG doesn't have any friends. LOL

Remaining friends with the ex, not easy as she crossed too many lines. As a wife she was destructive and dangerous. She would have to extend herself very far for me to ever see her as other than that.

SJG

Genesis, live 1973 youtube.com