Lost souls: help or not?
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Cute, petite, 30 YO divorcee, no kids, mobile home burned on Christmas day, mother and aunt were both strippers, mother and father are both drug addicts, 24 YO brother is a total loser, is living out of a hotel now, had surgery last week to remove a tumor from one of her ovaries, does not do drugs or drink, is very sweet and honest with me but she is a fucking slut. I have been considering to invite her to move in with me. To help. Brother Bones has emailed me reguarding this. Bad idea. He reinforced, what I allready knew. What would you do?
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DougS, you've hit the nail on the head, sometimes it's difficult to know whether you are helping or enabling. I generally won't help someone unless I think that they're making a real effort to help themselves. If they aren't, your help isn't going to do much good anyway.
Things are under control...
Dancer #3, petiete 27 yo divorcee, aerobics instructer and single mom. Through a freak accident, her daugher somehow got an electric drill shoved into one of her eyes. Required 3 surgeries. Over about 3 months. No insurance. She knew that I had given dancer #2 $1,000. She asked me to be as generous as I could, in my tipping. And I did but then she told me some shit about favorite dancer #2. I told #2 and she was pissed and they had it out in the dressing room. Not only did I not think about asking #3 to move in with me but she has been dropped off of my favorites list. Beware of Anna. See buddy, I still have it together.
But each encounter somehow involved a financial outflow on my part. She was borrowing $$ for this or that. Probably cost about $3,000 for an 8 week relationship. Worst part is I was in the process of a job transfer and almost took her with me. The hot sex still brings a smile to my face, though.
We can discuss with fellow TUSCL'ers at the Goldrush. Try not to make it a Fri or Sat, and I'll be there.
I am a nice guy - sometimes too trusting... sometimes too nice... but, I have helped a few "lost souls" in my clubbing day. I have rarely been asked for the money, it's usually me offering the money, after learning of a situation. And yes, I could've been "played" for the money, but I'm fairly sure I haven't been, so far.
With different girls over the years, I've given money to visit family in ATL, I've given money to help move out of a bad situation, I've given money so that time can be spent with kids during the holidays (not needing to work), and yes, I've even given money to bail out of jail.
Thing is, this is a lifetime project. It's what good public-school teachers do in the ghetto. But it's got to be a calling, not just something you take on with one stripper once in a while if you like her boobies.
When I've given my ATF advice she's usually taken it, in fact I've often been amazed at the extent to which she has done so. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have been nearly as willing (or able) to help her.
Good idea to keep it in my imagination. I could imagine the strippers inviting a bunch of new friends over and I wouldn't have any freedom anymore.
Post pics. Then, fuck her for cash, not emotional commitment. :)
Then if I knew her situation I might offer some advice depending on what her education level was. Ask her what kind of work has she thought about doing after she stops dancing. Get some education and training to do the kind of job she would like to do. I think a lot of guys prefer wives who are willing to work even if only part time. Ask her to picture her future and how she would like it to be. Then she simply has to work on it. There's still hope.
Other than the knowledge that she could be completely pulling your chain, having the possibility of this wonderful family of hers enter into your daily grind would be crazy. I don't want anyone who is a dredge of society entering into my daily life.
I agree--bad idea.
The idea of brief associations for mutual gain should not, however, be rejected out of hand. I'd recommend a hotel, however, rather than either party's residence.