Food for thought

33 comments

• houjack

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  7 years ago

  Sounds like you get an ego boost if your girl doesn't partake in the same activities with other men as she does with you. I don't mind sharing, but I think society in general is in agreement that your way of thinking is the accepted mode. Also, depends what you mean by date. Some members here seem to enjoy spending time with their prostitutes. What's the difference, except explicit exchange of money?
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  Larry, I think you might be confused as to why many of us here advise not dating strippers. It's not because they might do extras -- although, honestly, I personally couldn't handle the idea of someone I love fucking other guys for money. No, the reason we advise not dating strippers, is because of the enormous baggage that comes along with her. It is a near-universal experience among those of us who have gotten close to strippers, that the attributes and choices that led her path in life to choosing stripping as the BEST of all her options, always are fully present in her personal life: poor choices, impulsiveness, lack of ability to keep commitments, low self esteem, inability to keep relationships, tragic emotional damage from he family history, etc. Dating someone with those attributes is a nightmare. The key here is: as far as the emotional damage goes, there's not a lot of difference between extras and non-extras girls. Hell, of the strippers who I've kept in touch with (or at least still have access to their social media), the two most successful post-retirement strippers were both EXTRAS GIRLS. In summary: extras or not, is an orthogonal issue to whether or not it's a good idea to date a stripper (to which the answer is, no, it's almost never a good idea).
• rockstar666

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  7 years ago

  Larry...you've never dated a stripper. I know that there are exceptions, but the VAST majority are major flakes who will just let you down time and time again. Banging a hot girl is a wonderful thing for sure, but like the old joke goes with P4P, you're paying them to leave. I'm 'dating' an escort at the moment, and to her credit she has never missed a date or asked me for money. I do take her out and pay of course. But I see the dancer pattern in her...she blames everyone but herself for why she's a sex worker, and she never listens to anyone's advice. There's no growth with her at all, even after meeting ME! LOL But you take my point...these women really aren't what men who can afford to pay them want in a significant other. Just because I don't pay the escort, it doesn't mean it's a real relationship, because I have found out it isn't. For those of you who dated, married and had kids with a dancer and are still a happy couple, I congratulate you! You are the exceptions who won the lottery.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ exactly. You don't even have to "date" a stripper... all you need to do is get close enough that you get a peek into their non-strip-club lives, and it becomes an eye-opener. The notion that it's extras that make them poor dating choices, could only have been theorized by someone who hasn't gotten close enough...
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Larry, I suggest you go to Chippendale's for what you are looking for.
• houjack

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  7 years ago

  Admittedly, I'm much less experienced than most here. But even in my short attempts to form any kind of relationship with these girls I have noticed what Subraman describes. No responsibility, no commitment to plans, flaking, and ignorance to anything they may be doing wrong. And my goodness, the poor choices, and the fact they have no idea they're making them, it's crazy. It's why captain save-a-ho goes insane. You can't help these girls, they're either oblivious or too set in their ways to see a good opportunity. One girl got "jacked" by her friends on a regular basis, like WTF?? She had a new phone every month or two (because her crew or friend of friend, had stolen her shit during a night out). Nuts man. "What am I doing wrong houjack? Why can't I get out of this life?" Good luck trying to date these girls crazy man.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  ^^^ The phone thing is hilarious. They break them, they lose them, and they change their phone numbers regularly as a passive-aggressive way of doing contact management (that is, so that all old customers, boyfriend, and frenemies can no longer contact them).... -->"and ignorance to anything they may be doing wrong." The inability to take responsibility is also almost universal, IMO. A buddy of mine was asking for some advice, something had happened that his stripper blamed him for... I don't remember the exact issue, maybe her boyfriend got jealous because he saw a text from my buddy. Whatever the issue was, he was very confused, because SHE was the one who suggested they communicate that way and insisted that it was safe. I told him that my experience with strippers is: if anything goes wrong, she is going to blame you. It doesn't matter if it was her idea, if it happens while she's OTC with you or communicating with you, she will consider it YOUR FAULT. So you can never treat her like an adult who weighs the risks and takes responsibility for her decision -- you need to decide things for her, in a way that protects her from herself. Don't text her when her bf is around, don't OTC in her hometown if you think there's any chance she could get spotted, etc... you make the decision, don't take her word for it that it's safe, because it will be your fault if she's wrong.
• GoVikings

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  7 years ago

  Why not just date a very hot non-stripper?
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  Because a very hot non-stripper has lots of dating options, and has no need to date a PL :) But you already knew that, GV LOL
• stripfighter

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  7 years ago

  hearing all the stories of strippers flaking, i tell my ATF I'm proud of her when she keeps her word. Any other person, that would be the expected. Reminds me of the Chris Rock bit about taking credit for something they're supposed to do....
• skibum609

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  7 years ago

  One reason not mentioned here about dating a stripper is if the male wants a long term relationship with a woman, a stripper will be the worst possible choice, because no relationship based on sex, passion, or good looks ever lasts. In fact, sex is the least important aspect of a long-term relationship. Having said that, every good relationship has a sexual component, but its part of the mosaic, not the most important part. I love having sex with my wife, but know that aspect of our relationship is replaceable and as an old man I have had great sexual relationships before and during the marriage anyway. The part I cannot replace will occur this Sunday morning at 3:30 am when the alarm goes off and 45 minutes later we're in the car day tripping to go skiing. Ski all day, beers and weed after, drive home, back to work Monday. Fun and friendship based relationships work.
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  Strippers can be good because they are used to the visual aspect, and that leads to sexual intensity. But my own experience is that they can be more immature in relationships than civilians. In future times I will be totally openly with strippers etc. SJG
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  Interesting Subra, you're right, I had thought most people wouldn't want to date strippers because of the extras. The baggage is a good point, but then again all women have baggage. Vikings- the hot non strippers don't want to date me :( Rockstar- I dated a stripper briefly, I bailed quickly, she had issues. It's hard for me to believe that every stripper is crazy and has issues.
• rockstar666

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  7 years ago

  Not EVERY stripper is crazy and has issues....but good luck. Your brief encounter is how it's going to be 99% of the time. But there's a good point to be made here: if you don't fall in love and just want stripper sex, it will work out fine. You'll have to dump her eventually but until you meet your future wife, there's nothing wrong in fucking P4P women.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  In the end, if hot civvies won't go for you/me, then why expect hot strippers will for anything other than what they can get out of it - seems more like wishful thinking - snap out of it bro; IMO one is setting themselves for failure by trying to make it something that is not and most-likely won't be.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  Many of these girls; particularly the young hot ones; probably live a fast live-style that their fast-$$$ affords them - i.e. taking trips to exotic locations; stripping in different cities; hitting exclusive nightclubs/spots where the rich ballers hang; etc - a chick like this would probably only "settle down" or be w/ a dude that can really take care of them; i.e. buys them thousands dollar purses, cars, jewelry, fancy trips, etc- they're not gonna settle for an avg SC PL IMO.
• rockstar666

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  7 years ago

  One thing I've noticed though: The longer I've been clubbing and especially reading threads here and learning about other's experiences, the easier it's been to have my way with dancers. Not any PARTICULAR dancer mind you, but because I know the hustle and dancers know that I know the hustle, everything becomes very easy. No OTC? Fine, I'll find a girl who will if that's what I want. No extras to what the club will allow? Fine, I'll find a dancer who will. Or if I like you, I'm not going to spend money on empty promises. This was not always the case!
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  ^ I think most newbies and/or inexperienced SCers go into a SC w/ a civilian mindset and act w/ the girls as they would at a regular bar (as if the interaction was genuine and not business) - as one gets familiar w/ the game one learns it is a business and a dancer's #1 goal is to do w/e she can to get the most $$$ out of you - thus while many inexperienced PLs sit there all glassy-eyed, most dancers are doing mental/financial calculations in their heads. Once a PL knows it's about the $$$ then he can end-up having a better-time and get what he wants/needs instead of being jerked-around like a sap and not getting much for his investment.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  A PL's wallet is really the only thing/lever he has going for him in a SC; not his "charm" or "game"
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  rockstar wrote, "The longer I've been clubbing and especially reading threads here and learning about other's experiences, the easier it's been to have my way with dancers. " That's good. SJG
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  @houjack- you're right, it is a little bit of a ego boost. @Papi- yeah I'm guilty of treating like the SC like a regular bar at times. It's interesting, either strippers get with loser guys with no money, or they get with rich ballers, nothing in between, no average guys lol. I know a couple of strippers who are dating professional athletes. My lack of getting hot civilian girls might have to do where I live. LA is the most superficial city in America, these bitches just want a rich n***a. I make good money, but not enough for them. Rockstar-stripper sex but not falling in love would be ideal for me. I see some of these girls in LA, dudes just make it rain heavy on them (I used to be one of those dudes) and the girls ain't doing shit on stage. Some of these girls are probably taking home on average 1K a night, that's more than a doctor!
• san_jose_guy

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  7 years ago

  The girls are there, dressed to please, and they expect money. So yes, you should hand them money, but I say you should still treat them like civilians at all times. SJG
• Hugh_G_Rection

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  7 years ago

  Skibum nailed it.... Sex is just a small part of what you do with an SO and you need something deeper, common interests. While there are some very intelligent women who strip they are the exception to the rule. I would have to add to what Skibum said the words of comedian Ron White, "You Can't Fix Stupid" [view link] All the boob jobs plastic surgery and makeovers in the world won't make a shallow materialistic DS into someone you won't be embarrassed to be with around family, coworkers, friends and neighbors, and it won't make you want to deal with the baggage and drama.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  @Skibum and Hugh G- I hear you. I wouldn't be interested in anything long term though. Just a short term thing with lots of sex lol. Ideally fuckbuddy would be more what I'm looking for, but nowadays chicks want you to commit if they give you the pussy.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  BUMP. These lame trolls burying all the good threads.
• duomaxwell

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  7 years ago

  Just about all of the girls that I've worked with over the years are either married or in a serious relationship. Those relationships are subject to the same rate of failure/success as any other relationship in America. There are doctors and lawyers with drug problems, there are strippers that cook for everyone in the club and plan baby showers in pole studios for their friends. There are married men that are unfaithful--as evidenced from a lot of the comments here ;). The same pitfalls exist when dating ANYONE, HOWEVER most people don't date too far out of their socioeconomic sphere ... so, if you are someone dating a girl that you met at a strip club (especially if the "relationship" is or starts out being a compensated one) that you would not have otherwise met anywhere else there exists a different set of issues.The "relationship" being seen as a business transaction is an issue. As an aside, beautiful people can have fucked up pasts too. That's why you'll get trailer trash that work in upscale clubs and plain looking grad students in dives. It's an actual grab bag and you are never going to be sure what "kind" of stripper you'll be dealing with. I know girls that have married their regulars and went on to have children and be happy as clams. I also know girls that come into the dressing room and act genuinely confused about why some guy keeps bringing her flowers at work and texting her that he already misses her after they did a champagne room.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  ^^^Well said
• duomaxwell

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  7 years ago

  OH, and another thing that I would like to add about the reasons that some women become strippers: child rearing. For most women it's either having a child or having a successful career. Paid maternity leave isn't as common as you'd think (some people have to use a combination of paid sick leave/vacation time) and with the current political climate it's going to become rarer. This is one of the only industries where there's a high earning potential and really no limit to the amount of time off you can take. Women can work while their children are in school during the day OR work at night after their children are asleep so they can spend time with them during the day. It's just a very pragmatic choice for some women.
• GoVikings

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  7 years ago

  duo! welcome back! hope you stick around!
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  @duo- correct me if I'm wrong. I think a lot of strippers get into stripping because they need some quick fast money. They only plan on doing it for a month or so. They end up staying longer they make a lot more money than they thought they would and it's EASY money. They don't want go back to their 9 to 5 because they have to work twice as hard and they only get paid one tenth of what they would made stripping. They end up stripping for years and years and years, and they put off school and their career advancements. All of a sudden they look up and they're 35, past their prime in looks and not making a lot of money stripping, and they have no college degree.
• duomaxwell

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  7 years ago

  @GoVikings OH HI!!
• duomaxwell

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  7 years ago

  @larryfisherman that's a percentage to be sure, but IME it's a small one. The majority have a back-up plan, a side hustle, alternate streams of income OR are financially savvy career strippers. If they had a 9 to 5 to go back to then wouldn't that mean that they had qualifications aside from stripping? This could also be entirely dependent on where they work but if someone has been dancing up to the age of 35 they've probably had a bit of work done to ensure they can stay in the game a little longer. That 35 year old you're thinking of is probably closer to 50 and has a house, a husband, and a couple grandkids they aren't talking about in the club :)
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  "BUMP. These lame trolls burying all the good threads." I guess Larry is the judge of which threads are good. I might respect him if he had not just claimed his thread as being a "good" one. Nah, probably not.