Divorce question

They say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference - leave the past in the past and focus on your present - you can't undo what happened - let it go and learn from it, o/w you're gonna be fucking your mind up

Just smoked some fantastic weed. All is forgiven.

JS, hate is never a productive emotion. All it will do is poison your own life and prevent your own happiness.

I'm not saying that you have to love the woman, or even like her. However, forgiveness will heal you, and if you tell her she's forgiven, it may even piss her off a bit. :-)

Been divorced five years now. Year one we hated each other with passion lol...year five we joke, text and help each other out...she is remarried and I'm a dedicated life long player

She has became one of my closest friends...hate is gone on both ends

Been over 3 years for me.

I detest the woman just as much as always. I couldn't be in the same room with her because I wouldn't trust myself on being able to contain my actions.

So I avoid all contact with her. Haven't spoke to her in a couple of years. And I like it that way. There truly isn't anyone that I passionately detest more than her on this earth. She's the female version of the anti-Christ.

I do believe in 7 more years once our youngest of the two is grown we will become much more distant

Right now the kids have keeped us close

" I fucking despise the pathetic hag." That pretty much summarizes it.

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it's worth it.

Q: What should you do if you miss your ex-wife?
A: Take better aim.

Q: Why are hurricanes named after women?
A: Because when they arrive, they're all wet and wild, and when they go, they take your house and car.

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-wife rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again

Never been married but when it comes to things in your past, keeping anger, hate, etc, in your heart or head doesn't help you nor harm the object you are thinking about unless you risk getting yourself in trouble for illegal activity that could make your own life a lot worse.

The best thing to do is forgive the past injustice. When you do you free yourself from your past. You take away the emotional trauma that the hate or anger is causing you. Can you do it? I'm not sure. I know I forget easy after a few years. It has no effect on others unless you want to do illegal activities which is not good for your own future. Forgiving others frees yourself. I understand the wisdom in doing so. I now find it easy to see in others. Someone who hates someone like crazy, it affects them, not the person they hate. It tears them up without affecting the object of their hatred or anger. Now if you act like ISIS and aren't worried about losing your own life, your own soul, etc, your own property and are willing to go suicidal, you can might get temporarily even but you might not feel the same if they end up in heaven and you end up suffering in hell. Just my two cents and a reminder if I ever look back at this years later.

Of course my comment only refers to people and things in your past. If someone is currently causing you pain, you may need to try to fix the situation or remove yourself from the pain unless you enjoy suffering. I'm just thinking about all those suffering in unhappy marriages. I realize some feel trapped and may be trapped in unhappy marriages. Just try to remember in the next life, don't get married unless you think it's going to be a win win situation.

Or remember in the next life, read all the brilliant comments posted here. Just thinking in 2040 or 2060, JS reincarnated self reading tuscl archives. :)

My first appearance as a lawyer in divorce court was october 1981. What I have learned is that in over 95% of vicious divorce cases, there comes a time during the next 3 - 5 years when the war ends and the hatred dissipates. The day it happens is never remembered, as you will wake up one day and realize its over and you no longer care enough to work up any emotion. Except for one case, which began in 2007 and has resulted in 12 days of trial, 20 other hearings and over 140,000 in fees, all the rest of the bad ones have followed this path.

LMFAO Jack

LMFAO Jack

Brilliant words Papi_Chulo. Relax and find a way to let the bitterness and negativity go even when you aren't stoned! :)

@JS69. Simple way to let the anger go, just say how can I hate the woman that made the greatest children ever conceived.

I guess skibum is right. Never thought I'd write that sentence. The war will eventually end and I won't care. Until then I'll just smoke pot.

I've been divorced now for about a decade, I'll tell you when my attitude about her changes when it does! But seriously, it just takes time.

You mean juice

I'm coming up on 15 years since my divorce. I have seen her twice in that time. The last time was over 10 years ago. She did come back into my life 3 years ago by filing a contempt of court law suit over our divorce settlement. After 18 months and $2500, she dropped the case. I still want nothing to do with the bitch.

Isn't there a country song "She Got the Gold Mine I Got the Shaft".
Two Words; "Prenuptial Agreement"

When there has been a great deal of strife, I am not sure if things improve.

I would not want to divorce my wife, just because of her age. But she crossed serious lines with me. I think only now is she starting to understand this. She did stuff, or I allowed her to because I did not divorce her earlier. She used the marital status as a weapon.

SJG

Reading about all this strife makes me very, very glad I never tied the knot, I saw the pain in both my sister and brother's marriages and decided I didn't need the shit. My sympathies are with you guys. I've hated my share of bitch girlfriends, but I just stopped being with them. No ties, no problem.

^^^^^^ !!!!! smart man here Vince.

For me, I think I had something to prove, and so it was not that hard for a girl to manipulate me into marriage, even though I knew it was like playing Russian Roulette.

SJG

I have been divorced for five years and I have not had any contact at all with my ex-wife. Until I read a story like this I don't even think about her. Our divorce was civil, no kids, and the money split went her way( more than enough to go around). Nothing else to discuss.

I think divorced with kids like me is probably different than divorced without kids. For me its been a few years and rarely think about my ex.. Civil divorce - of course totally weighted to the Mother - cost me a small fortune - but life goes on. I See her at events for the kids and do my best to be cordial. My ex was a great mother to my children - I try to stop thinking about her beyond that. Have no interest in seeing her or chatting with her but try to hope for the best for her - for my kids. I have some friends that had nasty divorces and squandered tons of money fighting back and forth. They are the ones that seem to be the most bitter and I truly feel sorry for them. At some point, you have to stop looking back and begin looking forward.