A couple jokes for the new year
TheeOSU
FUCK IT!
Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable sex doll.
Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'
Customer says, 'Female'
Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?'
Customer says, 'White'
Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up'.
Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'
Customer says, 'Female'
Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?'
Customer says, 'White'
Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up'.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
18 comments
A poodle walked by and she says "Ill let one of you fuck me if you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence"
The Bulldog says "I hate liver and cheese"
She says "Nope that wont work"
The Shepard says "I love liver and cheese"
She says "Nope that wont work"
The Chihuaha says "Liver alone cheese mine"
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
" No," he replied, "arthritis.
I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!
My girlfriend said she doesn't need me, cause chicken finger herself.
A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses the
woman in front of her family.
And no one says a word...! Next he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!
By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes.
The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father ORiley for you?
The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.
God doesn't think he's Obama
What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens?
Undocumented democrats.
It's so cold this winter, Obama is keeping his hands in his own pockets!
If Obama controlled Halloween, would he take all the candy from the kids that trick-or-treated and give it to the kids that didn't trick-or-treat? Why won't Obama laugh at himself?
What does Obama do after a wet dream?
Get up and screw the country.
Barack Obama and Joe Biden are on a plane.
Suddenly Joe Biden says I can throw 100 dollars out of this plane and make 100 people happy.
Barack says I can throw 1000 dollars out of the plane and make 1000 people happy.
The pilot over heard this and said, "I can throw both of you out of this plane and make the whole country happy."
Because it would be racist.
*fixed* :D
The man replies, "I know its driving me nuts!"
A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender points at him and says, " I'm gonna let you in this time, but don't you start anything"!
A drunk man walks out of the bar and sees a nun standing at the bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she is on the ground crying he says," Not so tough are you now Batman!"
They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic."