tuscl

san_jose_lloyd walks into a underground mexican bar...

ime
Fuck Joe Biden
Thursday, December 15, 2016 5:55 PM
Lloyd Schoene walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a Shirley Temple and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the sanjoeseguy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later the SJG is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a Shirley Temple and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the SJG is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did just now?" "No, what?" replied the Lloyd. "Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the LLoyd. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to shit that cue ball out, he measures everything first now."

5 comments

  • ime
    8 years ago
    A loser (SJG) is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his well traveled friend takes him to a nightclub in Daytona where he tells him that he will score for sure. The loser enters the bar, sees his prey, and begins to barrage her with pick up lines that he acquired from his friend. The young lady continues to ignore him but finally gives in. She says " OK, I'll spend the night with you, but I've got to let you know up front that I'm on my menstrual cycle. The loser looks at her and says " That's OK. I'll follow you on my Moped
  • ime
    8 years ago
    Juice decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge– into the wind he goes! Meanwhile, his Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin’ on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days, when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! “Look at the size of that bird, Paw!” she exclaims. Paw raises up,” Git my gun, Maw.” She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG…BANG…..BANG…..BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops. “I think ya missed him, Paw,” she says. “Yeah,” he replies, “but at least he let go of Juice!”
  • ime
    8 years ago
    sanjoseguy walks into a sex product shop one day to buy a blow up doll. He purchases this doll and quickly takes it home to put it to use. As he starts to blow up this doll he starts to get horny and his penis starts to errect. But suddenly he notices that after blowing up the doll he sees that the doll too has a penis. So now this guy gets really pissed off. He puts his clothes back on, stuffs the doll back into the bag and goes back to the sex shop of where he bought the doll. He approaches the shop assistant and gives him back the doll and yells, "This doll has a penis. You are an assehole! I want my money back!" The shop assistant examined the doll, handed the doll back to the customer and said, "You dickhead you blew the doll up inside out."
  • shailynn
    8 years ago
    Sounds about right. The only retard to get "outed" here and still won't go away.
  • ime
    8 years ago
    Yet he pretends no ine knows who he is too funny.
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