Dedicated to Mr. Schoene

Did I spell it right? Who cares?

• Lloyd is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his well traveled friend takes him to a nightclub in San Jose where he tells him that he will score for sure. Lloyd enters the bar, sees his prey, and begins to barrage her with pick up lines that he acquired from his friend. The young lady continues to ignore him but finally gives in. She says " OK, I'll spend the night with you, but I've got to let you know up front that I'm on my menstrual cycle. Lloyd looks at her and says " That's OK. I'll follow you on my skate board.

• Lloyd can remember the night he lost his innocence in the back seat of his mom's car. It
  would have been even more memorable, if he hadn’t been alone!

• Lloyd had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked Lloyd a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."