Are you white? Then you're guilty!

avatar for JimGassagain
JimGassagain
Bacon props!!
The only way you can atone for being white is to give up all of your gas guzzling vehicles and move to the inner city after giving up all of your wealth for reparations.

It's the only way to settle our guilt and repair our race relations from our past. This way we can go forth onto a sanctramonious utopia where there will never be any more poverty, crime, or hate. Just peace and love.

My organization will begin to create a redistribution of funds we have frozen from the accounts of the whitest people alive, me being one of them. There will be others like Louie Anderson, Lou C. K., Brad Pitt, Michael Moore, and Robert Redford. Others will follow as I am deeply entrenched in local politics and therefore my firewall must be secure to protect my f2f dealings.

Bill Cosby, Jay Z, Kanye West, and Chris Rock will all get a free pass as they are too black to be considered guilty and are free from admonishment.

If you are really white, and want to join my organization to spare yourself from total damnation, please PM me!

20 comments

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avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
I redistribute part of my earning to single mothers of all races, does that give me a pass?
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
8 years ago
You are more full of shit than the New York sewer system
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
8 years ago
Is this the kind of humor that got you an audience with the Holy Father?
avatar for JimGassagain
JimGassagain
8 years ago
^^^ No it's actually my rendition of the pasty white avatar that confirms my whiteness. Lmao for those who understand!!
avatar for shanny72
shanny72
8 years ago
Llol
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
8 years ago
Is that Jim or Lloyd?
avatar for TheeOSU
TheeOSU
8 years ago
LOL @ this thread! :D
avatar for gammanu95
gammanu95
8 years ago
As a conservative-leaning homeowning suburban pickup-driving meat-eating dog-owning stripper-mongering college-educated professional upper-middle-class gun-carrying white Anglo-Saxon Protestant heterosexual patriotic male American, there is not a single progressive, liberal, leftist, democrat, disenfranchised, marginalized, minority that does not hate me for who I am. I am the democrat party's public enemy #1, and proud of it.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
8 years ago
Fuck yeah!! ^^^^

But don't you think the left leaning liberals would say you're being too insensitive?
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Back to being a fucking idiot racist, JimG.

Our consumptive economy is not sustainable. And also, poverty is created by social marginalization. Many people are just locked out.

It is not so much atonement which is needed, there just has to be major change.

SJG
avatar for DoctorPhil
DoctorPhil
8 years ago
@san_jose_guy "Our consumptive economy is not sustainable. And also, poverty is created by social marginalization. Many people are just locked out. It is not so much atonement which is needed, there just has to be major change."


said the pasty white guy who bought himself a mail order bride from the third world
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
8 years ago
SJG, what about Jim's post makes him racist? Explain?

That's what I thought.
avatar for ime
ime
8 years ago
According to sjg logic or it's clinical name fucktardism if you don't hate white people you are racist.
avatar for JimGassagain
JimGassagain
8 years ago
^^^ Well guys aparantly not only am I too white and presumed guilty, but I was out yesterday supporting my wife and three daughters for their Women's rights march, and it seems I'm too much of a man, too. I was told that I keep my wife in a civil bondage due to her having to raise 5 children without 3 nannies and an extra $5 million to assist financially.

Someone even stated I'm setting a bad example for my daughters by marching with a bucket of chicken, while letting my wife hold their hands down the street. WTF! I didn't sign up to starve myself and get yelled at by a bunch of hairy arm pit dykes trying to create a maternal utopia of "The View"! I woke up this morning having nightmares of Joy Behar and Whoopie Goldberg yelling in my face "We should blow you up in The White House with that other fat white guy who knocks up model hot women!"

Was I just asleep for 2 decades? When was it a sin to procreate with beautiful women and provide a high standard of living for your family from a successful career? It seems like only the weak and impoverished are deserving of nice things according to these so called "peaceful protesters" marching for equal rights. SMH!
avatar for GACA
GACA
8 years ago
^^^ spoken like a true privilege a******. Success is based on two things, hard work and opportunity. Here's a hint everybody gets to work hard, but not everyone will get the ....

I have experienced it myself firsthand it's only when you can "blend in" and work even harder are you given a fourth of the opportunity that the "privileged" get because daddy knows someone that knows someone
avatar for JimGassagain
JimGassagain
8 years ago
^^^ You're right! My dad was a banker and it was his connections that catapulted me into fame and wealth in show business world and Hollywood. Never mind that I was one of 6 children, and I'm the only one who entered this world of comedy and entertainment.

I consider myself liberal, but somehow the liberals don't want to identify as a big white pale man, with a healthy appetite for slender while women and breeding 5 children with her while preaching the virtues of Christianity. I guess the liberals won't accept me any more, so I'm forced to look for a new political identity.
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
8 years ago
Jim Gass, avoiding labels with biting satire - and that is it should be. Both ends of the political spectrum are unsupportable extremes.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Gassagain, you started too late. We already have one angry white man, Rush Limbaugh. You need to retire and STFU.

SJG

Brian Eno
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggLTPyRX…

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ERgOABY…

TJ School Girls
http://www.losangelespress.org/wp-conten…
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
8 years ago
It's funny when I tuned into Netflix yesterday Jim Gassagain comedy was at the top of the screen.
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