ATF Break Long Enough- Cont'd

11 comments

• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  Jesus - all you did is come on here and whine about how much she hurt you and drove you nuts, now you're singing her praises because she's been nice to you for 2 consecutive days. I was starting to have faith in you but it's gone - go back to the stamps. There's no hope.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  I tell you. ATFs push all the right buttons, don't they? If Imamutt can put up with this woman, he IMO can put up with just about any woman.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  Don't encourage him Domi!!!! There are other fish out there that will treat him better. He just needs to find them!
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  Just playing Devil's Advocate, sorry. thread.jack - I've been reading about "downing the duck" *google it* and other head games people play. It's about prisoners manipulating prison staff, but it's probably applicable to us PLs and some of these ATFs: [view link] (read paragraph #2 ...) -->"Throughout my career, I have seen inmates manipulate staff and "get their jobs." I've seen staff with tremendous potential fall victim to an inmate's con game. Inmates have a process they use to manipulate staff to get them to do what they want them to do. It's similar everywhere. It has been referred to as "Downing A Duck" (Allen, B and Bosta, D. 1981. Games Criminals Play and How you can Profit by Knowing Them. Rae John Publishing). The "duck" refers to staff that are easily manipulated or fooled. It goes something like this: first, they groom the staff member. They say things like "You're the only one who has made a difference in my life", or "I can tell you are a better officer than all the others" or "You should have heard what Officer Smith said about you." These kind words make staff feel good about themselves and what they are doing, and provide them with a sense of purpose. The second step is for the inmate to get the staff member to lower their guard. They get them to share information that they shouldn’t. Some seemingly benign detail about their life can become a reason for extortion. For example, a staff member shares with an inmate that he or she is having a relationship with another staff member. The inmate takes that ball and runs with it. He black mails the staff member into first doing something simple: looking the other way when misconduct occurs, mailing a letter, permitting a bunk move, or allowing the inmate to get a pass he shouldn't have. Those simple requests the staff member complies with are the hook. Once hooked the inmate uses these as bargaining chips to get the officer to do bigger and better things: bring in cell phones, drugs, or get involved in a sexual relationship. He gets the staff member to over-identify with the inmates and under-identify with his professional peers. Sometimes, by virtue of a staff member's job, they can over-identify with the inmate population. They begin to see the inmates as peers, not people under their care, custody, and control. You see this in non-security positions as well. For example, a maintenance staff member who has been working with an inmate welder for months begins to see him more as a co-worker and less as a convict. This opens the door the "duck to be downed.""--> ^^^This is powerful stuff. Don't fall for this!!
• ppwh

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  8 years ago

  @Imamutt, Nice work! It's surprising how much different things can be when you can control your own behavior. :-)
• Timex345

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  8 years ago

  I am hurt that I haven't been mentioned on this thread yet for being a butthurt PL.
• Imamutt

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  8 years ago

  It's more a matter of coming to terms with myself than anything else. I don't have to react to 'having my buttons pushed', I have the power to choose how I respond, even if the choice is to not respond at all. By demonstrating that no matter how much I want her, I can live without her, has made an impression.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  That's good. You showed that you were the one that changed. It's good to retain control.
• crazyjoe

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  8 years ago

  This is all made up shit
• Imamutt

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  8 years ago

  CJ- Not one bit made up at all. I know most people tend to embellish their story but I don't have that need. Human relationships, even fantasy ones, can be complex. Tapping the experience of others has been helpful and I'm only following up as a show of appreciation to those who have asked to let you guys know how it's working out. I've finally gotten past the SW phase and taken charge of myself.
• Imamutt

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  8 years ago

  Shailynn- yes, but none of them are her.