I guess I'm going to have to dance...

8/3/2016 10:31:50 AM

First off sorry about this winey post.

So there is some drama with my guys mom right now. Basically this whole pregnancy she's been kind of controlling or at least trying to be, and now she's trying to be controlling towards me and decided to flip out about some stuff that's been like it is for months.

We stay in a house she owns for now, but I'm hoping that we find a new place soon we have a few houses to look at coming up and I pray one of them is what we want. Well besides her flipping out on me and pretty much saying if I don't live how she sees appropriate after I have the baby I have to go. (Not her son not the baby just me!) which yes I understand she owns this house however there is a line still. But besides that matter the reason I'm going to have to go work is cause I am going to have to make some random amount of money to give to her. Because now of all times she's deciding to complain about stuff, not being spotless clean(sorry I can't clean much right now and your son doesn't like to do it so it's got to be done at my pace.) and a long time back the cat clawed one of the curtains, she claims its ruined but in my opinion it's not that bad. I had plans to replace the blinds when we left cause some where broke from the cat, but I guess I need to replace the curtain now too. I told her I'd buy some from Walmart, she didn't like that awnser I guess. She wants money and so I guess I'm going to have to go down and try to work today at 8 months pregnant and just been in the hospital Sunday! I found out on Sunday as well I was having contractions(I was stressed and babies heart beat was up and didn't go down till I calmed down) and I didn't even notice them. (So still not sure what they should feel like.)I do not need this stress cause if I miscarried right now it would be extra dangerous for myself since I'm so far along.

She half ass apologized today and said she just wants what's best for my baby blah blah blah then bitched some more. Mind you I replied very politely and bit my tongue, just to avoid more conflict. Though I did put my foot down slightly today in stating that it's our child we will raise her how we see fit and mentioned to her that there is a line, she is a grandma not the mom.

If I miss carry or go into early labor from this I know my mom or brother is going to put a restraining order on her which isn't really going to help anything either.

So I guess tonight I'm going to try and work for a bit but take it easy, probably only do lap dances and only on stage if someone really really wants me to. Cause I need to make some money to please her. I don't want to get it from my guy cause we are already having to buy sooo much stuff this month. Crib( which she said she was getting from the start but then she backed out of.) house, animals to the vet to get there shots and the dogs got an ear infection both sides. And then the other regular stuff groceries and so on

47 comments

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gammanu95

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8 years ago

I'm sorry to hear all that. Not that the baby should be jeopardized or anything, but there a lot of guys out there with preggo fantasies. If one of them shows up while you're working, you could make a shit ton of cash

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

Yeh that's my hopes. I figure if I could make 200$ that should be plenty enough to not hear her complain

JamesSD

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8 years ago

Get rid of the cat?

metaldude

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8 years ago

Good luck tonight. Your boy needs to step up and put his mom in her place, in a nice way if possible but firmly. You shouldn't have to hear that shit at 8+ months pregnant. Try not to let her blather bother you (I know easier said than done). You are in the right here and for next however many weeks you are pregnant that should be the only important thing that everyone around is concerned about. If he doesn't get her to back off now unfortunately its probably not going to get easier after the baby is born.

Dominic77

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8 years ago

If you have to work then you have to work. If your guy won't bring in any extra money then that only leaves you.

She likely won't back off your case until he puts her in his place and makes the bounds extremely clear. The problem is you're staying at her place, so, - "her hours her rules" -, is sort of going to be the guiding rule. So you may need to do some tongue biting.

I'd also get the cat clawed if not already. But that's just me.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@jamesSD the curtain thing happened when the cat was little and still learning it's not a problem now, like I said it happened a while back, like last summer. She's just now bring it up is all.

gammanu95

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8 years ago

I'd bet the mother wouldn't put her newborn grandchild on the street. Don't wait for baby's daddy to set Mom straight. Draw the line for her yourself. If push comes to shove, real estate law is usually in your favor. If you have legal questions, JS69 might help you. After he's done giving the DC's butthole a tongue bath. he's not living that one down.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@meteldude thanks and yeah my guy knows and he can't really say much either for now given our situation. I guess she's always been controlling and frankly a little off her rocker her whole life based on what he says and his aunts told me.

She's someone who has always had things her way. And well from the start of the pregnancy she's been acting like its hers and going against little things despite my wishes and trying to push her wants. But that wasn't enough and now she's trying to control me as well. She's happy about the baby just not me. I honestly don't think she's happy that her son chose a "girl like me". One of my stressed right now is I'm worried about her trying to take custody. I expressed my concerns to my guy and what possible grounds she could have and the biggest being we live in a house she owns so this has just put more stress on trying to find a house of our own before the baby comes. I wouldn't be as worried if she was acting different but it's something I wouldn't put past her sadly.

She's been the kind of person that it's her way or the high way her whole life, however a lot of the time she shows her dissaproval indirectly not so much directly.

jackslash

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8 years ago

She sounds like a mom from hell. You don't need stress at this time. Your boyfriend should talk to his mom and tell her to back off. As soon as you can you need to move out of her house because she will always use that against you.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@dominic77 yeh I know and that's why I've refrained from saying a whole lot and same for my guy cause we don't want to make the situation worse

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@gammanu95 well the problem is my guys been staying here since 18 and he pays utility but no rent there is no contract or anything. :( he's even tried to buy this place from her but she wouldn't sell it cause he has two younger brothers and she wants them to have a chance to stay in it. It kind of sucks because my guy has sunk money into this place too over stuff that usually at least a landlord would handle. He paid to have the septic drained and to fix a pipe that broke leading to it, he bought new washer and dry, new stove, and replaced the bathtub(it was 20 years old and the bottom finally cracked) put new flooring in the kitchen, and he's done some other minor things as well.

And she flips about a curtain? They sell them at Walmart some as low as 5$ for a 2 pack! Mind you these curtains are old looking and thin any how definitely didn't cost that much.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

When we had a talk about it he said she reminds him of Norma from baits motel series and how she has control issues and never let her son do anything(not to her extent maybe but still the same kind of issues.)

Dominic77

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8 years ago

I know what it's like to having a controlling mother like that. My late mother was like that. For a while we didn't talk because we couldn't find any middle ground. You have my sympathies.

Keep working. Hustle what you can. It will make it harder to make life difficult for you - or screw you or your child - if you have your own money, however small it is.

flagooner

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8 years ago

"Well besides her flipping out on me and pretty much saying if I don't live how she sees appropriate after I have the baby I have to go."

I'm confused. What does she consider inappropriate?

When I first read this I guessed she disapproved of your dancing, but then you said you have to dance tonight to bring in some money.

Dominic77

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8 years ago

Also there's no point in stressing over things that you cannot control. Get a few bucks from the club and replace the curtains/blinds. Get a few bucks so you have something for ... ? (whatever the next 'need is'. and so you have security in case she does try to force your hand in a custody battle?

Just kind of within reason any time she dumps on you ask yourself: is there is some *actionable* item you can do to address it? If not, try not to worry about it. If so, do whatever small thing you can (or buy).

Maybe take up yoga via app or youtube, if you aren't already. It make give you inner piece and help with the dancing and the pregnancy. Pre-natal is not my area of expertise though.

Good luck.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

Yes dissaproval of dancing amongst other things. ( though I don't plan to strip after o have the baby I do plan to continue pole fitness however.)She dislikes our daughters name but nothing she can do besides complain on that, she dislikes my plan to breast feed ( especially since I don't plan to miss a feeding so I could pump and have a bottle to take in town or to pump and make my boobs get engorged from making them think my baby is eating more than she is.) I believe she finds breast feeding obscene. She also has just generally had issues and a dislike for me from the get go.

twentyfive

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8 years ago

If her son is old enough to have a baby he should be mature enough to take care of his baby, and her momma, that means he needs to straighten out any issues between his mother, and the mother of the baby and last but not least be able to provide support including financial to take care of his own business. You and he should not be living in her house rent free, you should be self sufficient, or how will you raise a child, that will be depending on you both for everything he needs for at least the next 18 years. I hate to jump on you, while you are in such dire straits, but the both of you need to grow up, and in a hurry.

Dominic77

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8 years ago

Phoenix. You're doing right. I wouldn't give into a bully like that (your MIL). Since we have equal rights for the sexes, I'd keep hustling and keep biting that tongue. There's not much you can do unless your man can magically fix it all for you. That would be nice. But then there's reality.

A lot of families have to deal with issues like this. It's just the way it is.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@twentyfive we have money we are looking for a house to "BUY" right now. He's been living here since we got together. It's easiest way to save money for a house to own and not just rent. We have the money just trying to find the right one. And I wouldn't have to worry about it if there wasn't sooo much stuff we have to take care of this month 900+ we have to pay this month already roughly for different things.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@dominic thanks :) and yeh I wish there was something he could do but there really isn't, so if I can get the money and give it to her now it will just be a lot less drama to worry about at least for now

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Pm me your random number and maybe we can work something out

Juice

GACA

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8 years ago

^^^Juice she did say she was 8 months pregnant. ...what are you trying working out over there Rumplestilskin?

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Shhhh !!!

I'm kinda close to her location and I have seen pictures of her...she is beautiful

Seriously hun....pm me the Magic number and let's just see what the universe can work out ?

Worse case I can't do it but at least I tried.

No disrespect by the way....strictly business and a gentleman offer

twentyfive

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8 years ago

I do understand what's going on Phoenix, but how will you deal with a child that will keep you awake all night on and off, for the next two years ,and soo much other stuff that you will need to do, the time to plan for this is way past, now you need to do, what you need to do. If I were in your shoes I might feel different but I have seen this circumstance time and time again happening to many of the children of my friends, fortunately I have never had to deal with this with my own. but I wish you well and good luck you will need it.

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@ywentyfive things have been planned for a while we have been trying to find a house since last summer way before baby. The market hasn't been in our favor too many junk houses asking for too much for what you'd have to put in them. (My brother builds houses for a living and owns his own business and has even said so about many of the houses we've looked at that the amount of money you'd put into its just not worth it.

The thing that wasn't planned was how crazy his mom was going to get and possessive (over the baby even though not even here yet.)

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@ juice thanks I'll message yah :)

GACA

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8 years ago

^^^ well hell, if it's like that PM mee too...I make a tad bit more than juicy fruit :)

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

Haha well I haven't heard a proposal of sorts from him yet lol

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Just got it....don't contact me out yet

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

GACA why you got me on ignore ? I can't message you bro....maybe he accidently did it

Some one tell him to unblock me and to message me...I'm trying to message him

san_jose_guy

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8 years ago

Phoenix, I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much stress and instability, coming from economics and familial relations.

No one should have to put up with anything like this.

Most of these sorts of problems come from how our society is organized to enforce the Self-Reliance Ethic.

I know this is no real consolation, but in the organization I am building, everyone will always be fully taken care of at all times and no one will ever have to concern themselves over housing, employment, motor vehicle, or family relationship issues. We value our people too highly to ever let them have to be bothered with such things.

SJG

Philip Glass - Glassworks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Stu7h7Q…

mark94

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8 years ago

Phoenix, from a legal standpoint, you have all the leverage. Grandma has none. I have no doubt that her goal is to get control of your child, through her son, and minimize your involvement. Now is the time to get legal advice. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that grandma already has.

MrBater2010

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8 years ago

Robin Williams and the titty fairy comes to mind. That and breast milk.. mmmmmmmmm

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

@mark94 yeh I feel she has gotten legal advice already.

I know the only things she has I know of is housing since it's technically hers even though she's not living in it and we are, and the fact that I'm not working and my guy and I are not married yet. We have talked about it but never felt rushed to do it though now kind of :( and that's something that should be special and not rushed.

Where I live as long as not married they recognize the mother as the main legal guardian. I wanted to have our daughters last name my guys but I think we might leave it just mine to be safe for now for if we don't get a place and she does kick me out she can't try and say I kidnapped my daughter! Cause if I'm not there she has to come with me my guys hours are crazy so he couldn't watch her it would by default fall onto her and I think she'd just love that.

mark94

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8 years ago

I'm not a lawyer but my impression is that her only chance would be to
1. Prove that you were an unfit mother
2. Get psychological control of your guy, her son, if she hasn't already.

She is probably documenting aspects of your life that prove ( in her mind) that you would not be a fit mother.

Like I said, a conversation with a family lawyer would go a long way to making sure grandma can't spring a surprise on you.

crazyjoe

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8 years ago

My brothers ex mother in law was that way. I handed her a spoon and told her to est my ass

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Lol Joe

Phoenix133

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8 years ago

Well made 70$ so far maybe be able to get a guy to get a pitty dance

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Lol...damn....it's a good start at least (wink)

GACA

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8 years ago

How pregnant do you look? And my offer still stands....six figure says I can at least double juicy fruits offer

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

GACA if you can see this I thank I should give what I can and enjoy her then I think you should give what you can and enjoy her and in the end she will be well taken care of

She is very pregnant and extremely beautiful....well worth the money bruh

GACA

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8 years ago

Ya juice I can see it....and I totally agree :) it win win win, everyone wins

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Take me off ignore bro...I'm not as bad as I used to be...lol

If your serious pm her she is a Doll and is worth the trip to her location or just wire her some cash for some pictures or conversation or something

It might sound lame to some people but it's a wonderful way to enjoy beautiful bitches even at a distance...yeah I know I've been caming to much lol...but seriously doh...

She needs the money and we just want to enjoy this honey

Find a way in-person or over the phone, computer or whatever and share with her what she needs and she will provide what is comfortable for her to provide back and in this way real enjoyment of each other can take place

Hell GACA I pray you can double or triple my order this Lil honey needs it......I'm looking forward to sharing a blessing with her and letting her brighten up my days...

Yes a win win win lol... god bless you my friend

GACA

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8 years ago

Ok bro juicebox is off ignore but those other alias are still on.

And ya already sent my PM

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

Thanks bro...and kool....she should get excited over this

I also thank if any other member is blessed enough financially you should consider at least western union her for at least some pictures in return she gets like $50 to $100 per person this could really help her and her Lil one out

Once again I have to say she is fuckin beautiful....has those make you go broke bed room eyes lol....fuck me

GACA

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8 years ago

Ya juice....Let her know I'm pretty dang serious

JuiceBox69

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8 years ago

I will brother

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