I'll bite.
Usually when I write a review I put these things in (some are redundant)
1. Cover charge / valet charge / average price for a drink
2. How many people / day visited / time of day / how many dancers on shift
3. Did I get a lapdance / how many dancers did I get lapdances from / how hot were the strippers
4. How much did I pay for the lapdance / did I have to tip a bouncer / how private was the area that the lapdance happened
5. Did anything happen more than a lapdance (always be vague on this, not specific)
6. If any dancer did anything "extra" for you do not call her out
7. If a dancer ripped you off or attempted to rip you off, mention her name.
8. Did I have a good time / would a return / have I been there before
not everyone follows my protocol, but that's what I usually try to put in a review
Use good grammar is #1 for me! Then just describe your experience. If the club doesn't get many reviews give details about prices of things and layout. If it's reviewed a lot those aren't as important as the experience. Don't use dancer names if you are going to be explicit with what happened. DO warn of any ROBs.
To add to shailynn's good list; I'd say a bit more info describing the dancers - i.e. ethnic breakdown; build type of most dancers (e.g. mostly spinners w/ A-cups; or lots of big girls; or lots of fake tits; etc).
Also - VIP costs - room fee - going rate for dancer-tip - VIP room nice/clean or small/a-dump, etc
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