Kinks, judgement, 50 Shades syndrome

avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
Civie setting, couples plus a couple random singles talking about kinks, toys, etc. Um. Apparently turbocharged gasoline powered dildos are cool. But a little B&D is taboo and offends some people. Could it be confusion with SM that makes some highly sensitive to the subject?

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avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
How come you didn't change the subject to your stamp collection?
avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69
9 years ago
I agree with cflock
avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
9 years ago
Interesting
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
9 years ago
I don't get it. With consenting adults - B&D (and S&M) are both great ways to turn up the intensity of an arousal.

There can be folks who think rough sex involves violence against a woman - but that's untrue. I can't comment on 50 shades - since I haven't seen the film. I've had great sex with a few civi women (divorced moms) who found the use of restraint and the use of moderate pain (to increase the pleasurable effect of orgasms) to be very arousing.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
Since 50 Shades of Grey -- the book -- S&M discussion has been completely on the table, it's totally brought it out of the closet, at least 1 on 1 in the dating scene. Hell, 5 years ago, half the women had that book in their "favorite books" section of their internet profile, and they were sending a message with that. There's never been a better time for guys who want to explore, because women are far more willing to discuss it and engage in it more openly
avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
9 years ago
Yes. But some people are misinformed and want to lump kinks they don't understand in with all forms of what they consider deviant sexual behavior. A little hanky spanky between consenting adults is a long way from predation.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
No idea who those people are! Well, I'll take that back: in groups, it's still a defensive move to pretend you're making fun of it and aren't interested in it, otherwise you risk the group teasing you about it... but half the time, even the folks posing that it's some deviant thing are getting a little thrill just to be talking about kink at all, even if it's to pretend they don't like it. Like I said, in the dating scene, light BDSM is a topic that can be brought up far earlier and often than 20 years ago, more women are open to the discussion and get a thrill out of it. You can practically see them flush as the topic comes up

avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
@Subraman: Yeah, even though 50 shades was a piece of crap, both the book *and* the film, it did serve to make the subject less taboo for discussion. Which is a good thing, so I can forgive literary incompetence.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
This is what you are talking about?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shad…

Didn't know about this. I will look into it. Thanks.

SJG
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
There are elements of dominance and submission in all human relations, especially the sexual. I think studying it is good because it makes you more sensitive to it.

Also, people who practice theatrical dominance and submission sex, are less likely to abuse power they may have in mundane situations

SJG.
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