If you are seeing her outside of the strip club, or even just communicating with her regularly, outside of the strip club, then she really is not just your CF.
SJG
Billy Sheehan - Bass Solo
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Not seeing her outside the club. And only text to find out when she will be working.
But I find myself thinking of her often and looking forward to seeing her, too much. Unhealthily so.
Plus she is not one that provides OTC. I know the feelings are only one way. We enjoy each other's company in the club, but I don't kid myself to think if $ wasn't involved that she would spend her time with me.
Well I've been married myself. When I wanted to keep it that way, I also had to keep my side of the street clean.
If a marriage is not working, then one needs either a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer. We need to start putting some money into a fund to send some of these girls to school. I knew one strip club dancer who was going to school to become a marriage counselor, but that was just one. And so far, still zero divorce attorneys.
So as of now, if you are having problems with your marriage, you won't find help at strip club. And if you want to keep your marriage, you have to conduct yourself accordingly.
SJG
Take a long look into the eyes of those dead presidents in your wallet - and try hard to fall deeply in love with them! Keep gazing at them - so that you know them - and so that you don't want them to leave -
Then think about how stupid it will feel when you give them away to a stripper who barely knows those beautiful green faces.
Don't do it! You don't need the drama of having feelings for a stripper - and you don't want to risk anything that could bite your marriage in the ass!
Think how you're spending $10 - $20 per 3 - 4 minutes and what is happening for that amount and how that money could be used for something more lasting.
Feelings are just feelings. It's what you do with them that matters. Maybe find something you don't like about her, like a mannerism or a habit, something that pulls her off the pedestal. He feelings will pass.
Dam. You sound almost like me a few years ago. Wouldn't say feelings but close and she did occupy a good portion of my mind, time and wallet. Not crazy amounts of either but more than it should have.
NOthing wrong with feelings... as long as you can control them and recognize it for what it is.
I enjoy my fave when I see her and when I think about her. I know its one way and always know when, how often, and how much I'll spend to keep it all under control.
If it is getting out of control. Start small. Delete her number.
I am in a similar situation as the OP.
ITC my new CF provides a very convincing GFE, but I am sure she does not have any feelings for me.
I was visiting her every week, but now have not seen her for over 3 weeks. I do plan to see her again, just needed time away to come to my senses.
I have been to the club a couple of times during that period, on days I knew she was not working.
Spending a little time with a variety of strippers prevents developing those feelings of closeness.
I can sympathize. Everytime I leave the club or end a get together with my ATF, I try to shake off the gfe fantasy she provided and come back to reality, but I often can't get her out of my head. Even right now, we've been texting back and forth for a couple hours after spending most of the day together, which doesn't help.
But at the end if the day, she's just a good temporary friend who really just loves my money while I really just love her body and what I get to do with it. It's only human to have some sort of feelings for her, it's pathetic to think it's anything more than a fun business relationship.
Thank you all for chiming in. I'm not going to pursue anything more than what I am currently getting. I've just been more pathetic than usual lately, having a hard time turning off the fantasy mindset when I leave the SC. Hopefully your comments and my putting it out there and admitting it will help bring me back to reality.
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
YOLO - life is about experiences & enjoying oneself - if you enjoy her company & how she makes you feel then enjoy the experience & the opportunity as long as you see it for what it is which it seems you do - what's the alternative, to work your whole life and then just die - enjoy it while you have it as long as you don't neglect the other parts of your life - you can enjoy both.
The fact that you're aware that developing feelings for a dancer is a bad idea is half the battle. If things feel like they're getting out of control, then I can only recommend taking some time off, which is a challenge all by itself.
Been there. It's likely just a crush. Quickest way to kill that crush would be to express your feelings to her. I'd bet money she'll wither disappear or try to take advantage of you which would turn off your affection real quick.
Not sure I'm in a good position to answer this one, but what the hell, your feelings are going to cost you lots of money and pain...take time off! I spent a 3 years and a fortune believing my ATF when she said that she loved me and would eventually be with me. It's been a few months since I've seen her. The "I love you" messages dried up a week or two after I turned off the money. I still think about her constantly, but have managed to avoid messaging and the club. Every time I want to reach out to her, I remind myself of the nice lifestyle I was giving her and her boyfriend (she never admitted that one).
On the bright side, I have an assload of unspent money.
Yep. Same one. But didn't get dumped afterall.
It was nice to find out that I wasn't too badly saddened when I thought she left me. Was disappointed, but was ready to shop again.
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