For some reason, groping and feeling up hot women is much more fun to me than actually having sex with them. Feeling them up, touching them, eating pussy, kissing, all fun stuff, the actual sex is just clumsy and awkward. I also constantly lose my boner because I'm focusing maintaining some contorted position. Anyone else feel like this? It makes me rethink what I'm actually trying to accomplish in strip clubs.
Actual sex is something I think one has to learn the rhythms and energy flows for to be able to do well. One should study Tantra. And it does require getting into the right state of mind.
For myself I am not interesting in LDKing.
Not interested in HJ / BJ 'till completion, unless it is a girl I am already doing real sex with regularly.
Yes, feeling them up, touching, DATY, FIV, and especially DFK are everything. Tremendous enjoyment. But it requires that the girl feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Do that, and then when you and the girl are feeling it right, FS.
But I am not interested in FS without GFE. I want it to be highly emotionally engaging for both parties.
Well let's amend the title. Sex doesn't suck but trying to have sex itc in weird positions can suck because you can't enjoy it as much. I understand what you're saying though. Extras itc can feel rushed and/or impersonal at times and when you are paying good money to do these acts you want more than just the act in and of itself.
I would say you may not necessarily be in the minority - SCers that go just for the sex may perhaps be in the minority although that could be for several reasons.
I love women - I love the way they look and the way they feel - and thus why I for the most part often prefer to get VHM dances from as many dancers as I can and find attractive - it may also depend on one's make-up/wiring - for many wham-bam thank you Ma'am sex is not that enjoyable - when having sex w/ a stripper I don't get to enjoy her body as I would with VHM dances - also for me personally having sex with a condom is just not that enjoyable and consistently having sex w/o one is too big a risk.
For me having sex in da club is often a spur of the moment kinda thing and it sorta just happens that particular visit - I rarely go w/ that intent although sometimes I do but it's def the exception.
As was posted above, we all have different things that make us tick just we have different types of dancers that make us tick - i.e. you should do what feels good to you and not what others say its the thing to do.
^^^^^^^^^ This is why when it became known in the early 90's that with Willy Brown and Terrance Halinan running San Francisco that Market St. Cinema and New Century were building totally closed rooms, obviously for FS, I was not very interested.
Compared with AMPs, the SC would offer:
1. Higher minimum standards for looks and dolling up.
2. Higher costs
3. Less relaxed and pleasant environment, less conducive to nice sessions, in my opinion.
4. More difficult to deal with women, harder core hustlers.
5. Often harder to steer it to GFE, in my opinion and compared to my own AMP experiences.
And I neutralize the minimum looks standard issue because I always pick the girl myself, and so I window shop until I find one I like. Its not just how she rates on some scale, its how I feel about her after talking to her a bit.
And then Market St. Cinema is now closed, and New Century has gone on to build newer rooms which are smaller.
Now OTCing with a stripper, that's an entirely different matter. And I places like TJ's Hong Kong bar, that looks like it combines the best of both.
But I say that in a FS strip club, the most important thing is to get a front room makeout session going, before even considering the back room.
I hear you that sex isn't everything, but I'm a decent looking guy in my early 20's, it's bullshit that I'm contemplating viagra while this forum of middle aged guys are nailing strippers on the reg (unless they're full of shit).
Well - it shouldn't be that you don't get turned-on but more that it perhaps is not all you thought/hoped it would be - if you are having a hard-time getting it up then there can be some physical or psychological/emotional issues there.
I'm confused by the op's issues with sex. Is he not enjoying it because it's not comfortable doing it itc? Or is he saying that he enjoys the pursuit of pussy more than the actual sex?
If it's bad enough for an early 20's guy to need viagra - that's bad.
OTC is available to most everyone. You must know how to ask - and when to ask.
For some guys, setting is important when completing the deal. Also, for some guys the hunt is the most fun part of going to a strip club. Depends on how your wired.
I was at a high mileage club once and negotiated FS ITC with a very hot dancer. The problem was that this club's private "rooms" were glorified broom closets. Very cramped; very frustrating. We e managed, but it was a struggle.
After the dance, I told her that if she wanted to do that again, we'd have to go OTC. Things went exponentially better OTC.
There's something wrong, either physical or psychological, if you need Viagra in your 20s. I have read many places that lots of young guys need ED meds because of dysfunction caused by watching too much porn. You ought to consider whether that might be the case for you. I gave up porn weeks ago and it has definitely improved my own sexual function. I will post about that subject after a few more weeks have gone by. If that's not it you should make an appointment with a urologist.
For myself, my erection and ejaculation originate in the organ between my ears. I have no interest in finding ways to override it. Rather, I look at what is going on in my own life, and at what is going on in potential sexual situations.
Porn addiction is very possible, I've whacked it almost daily since I figured out how. My orgasm's have little actual pleasuable sensation other than the release of pressure, but I still have never stopped for more than 4 or so days.
Papi - I've never gotten a dance from a black woman, I like skinny white girls with small titties. Even big naturals get a pass from me.
I see that as just a recycling of the old anti-porn arguments.
Now sure if you are DIYing, then that reduces how much you can do proximally with real women. Likewise, with porn you get to pic what images you see. So if you want to fuck real women you need to find ones you like. You may be like me where high heels and makeup and slut wear make a big difference. But having your own tastes does not mean porn is bad. You just need to set it up so you get what you want. If you have to have it that way, you are perverted. If you just like it, but it is not mandatory, then you are just a fetishist, like me.
You have to be able to let yourself get into the right mood with your girl. Your parasympathetic nervous system has to take over from your sympathetic.
Most guys wake up with Mr. Stiffy. If so, then it is all psychological. Don't try to use chemicals to separate your lower body from your brain.
I would expect there are very few things that don't happen at Vic's. If you don't mind a lube latex glove - then I'm sure a prostate massage will work...
Localuser - are your tastes very specific? You mentioned skinny white girls with small tits. That seems quite specific - so I'm wondering if you have a specific scenario - a setting that must be almost exact too?
When you masturbate - does everything need to be setup in a specific way? That can make it very difficult to get off - considering you masturbate daily.
Try to cut back on porn (if you indulge) & masturbation. I used to indulge in those hobbies and my libido was much lower than it is currently. Now I use my days between encounters to recover so I am nice a ready when it comes time to do the deed.
"Extras itc can feel rushed and/or impersonal at times and when you are paying good money to do these acts you want more than just the act in and of itself."
this perfectly describes how i feel about my follies VIP experience yesterday. was it bad? no. but i learned i'd rather just spend my $ on table dances.
GoV, it depends upon the girl. While many are robotic, disinterested, and mechanical, others can be much better. But all you really need to do is to get yourself a DS.
I realize it depends on the girl, but in most cases it's probably gonna be robotic and mechanical. A random woman giving extras to a stranger probably isn't going to be that into in most cases.
Now if you build rapport with her and spend cash on her regularly, she's a lot more likely to perform much better.
"... this perfectly describes how i feel about my follies VIP experience yesterday. was it bad? no. but i learned i'd rather just spend my $ on table dances ..."
P4P sex can be similar to one's first sexual experience - it's often awkward and not very good the first time(s).
I don't do extras too often and I'd say 3/4 of the time I feel I should have saved my $$$ but 1/4 of the time felt it was money very well spent - sometimes a certain custy and dancer click a bit better.
^ w.r.t. what I said above - today was one of those days - was in a mixed club and did some LDs in private-dance booth w/ a dark-skinned Jamaican that was very slim but had big-ole natural Ds - 1st-song regular LD - 2-nd song BBBJ - 3rd song RCG fucking and her pussy was damn good - this one was worth the investment (only lasted one song fucking her RCG b/c her pussy was that good).
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For myself I am not interesting in LDKing.
Not interested in HJ / BJ 'till completion, unless it is a girl I am already doing real sex with regularly.
Yes, feeling them up, touching, DATY, FIV, and especially DFK are everything. Tremendous enjoyment. But it requires that the girl feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Do that, and then when you and the girl are feeling it right, FS.
But I am not interested in FS without GFE. I want it to be highly emotionally engaging for both parties.
SJG
I like sex but only certain positions. Some positions are uncomfortable to me others make me cum too quick.
And like you said - foreplay is sometimes more exciting than the main event.
I love women - I love the way they look and the way they feel - and thus why I for the most part often prefer to get VHM dances from as many dancers as I can and find attractive - it may also depend on one's make-up/wiring - for many wham-bam thank you Ma'am sex is not that enjoyable - when having sex w/ a stripper I don't get to enjoy her body as I would with VHM dances - also for me personally having sex with a condom is just not that enjoyable and consistently having sex w/o one is too big a risk.
For me having sex in da club is often a spur of the moment kinda thing and it sorta just happens that particular visit - I rarely go w/ that intent although sometimes I do but it's def the exception.
As was posted above, we all have different things that make us tick just we have different types of dancers that make us tick - i.e. you should do what feels good to you and not what others say its the thing to do.
Compared with AMPs, the SC would offer:
1. Higher minimum standards for looks and dolling up.
2. Higher costs
3. Less relaxed and pleasant environment, less conducive to nice sessions, in my opinion.
4. More difficult to deal with women, harder core hustlers.
5. Often harder to steer it to GFE, in my opinion and compared to my own AMP experiences.
And I neutralize the minimum looks standard issue because I always pick the girl myself, and so I window shop until I find one I like. Its not just how she rates on some scale, its how I feel about her after talking to her a bit.
And then Market St. Cinema is now closed, and New Century has gone on to build newer rooms which are smaller.
Now OTCing with a stripper, that's an entirely different matter. And I places like TJ's Hong Kong bar, that looks like it combines the best of both.
But I say that in a FS strip club, the most important thing is to get a front room makeout session going, before even considering the back room.
SJG
@Smith96: I think the proper terminology is "face fucking" not "mouth fucking."
If it's bad enough for an early 20's guy to need viagra - that's bad.
OTC is available to most everyone. You must know how to ask - and when to ask.
I was at a high mileage club once and negotiated FS ITC with a very hot dancer. The problem was that this club's private "rooms" were glorified broom closets. Very cramped; very frustrating. We e managed, but it was a struggle.
After the dance, I told her that if she wanted to do that again, we'd have to go OTC. Things went exponentially better OTC.
But nothing causes ED more than the fear of ED.
For myself, my erection and ejaculation originate in the organ between my ears. I have no interest in finding ways to override it. Rather, I look at what is going on in my own life, and at what is going on in potential sexual situations.
Good book:
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Sexual-Ecstasy…
SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/
:)
One trip to Vic's in Irvington - where the girls provide FS at the bar - and you will be a happy and horny man!
Papi - I've never gotten a dance from a black woman, I like skinny white girls with small titties. Even big naturals get a pass from me.
SJG
Now sure if you are DIYing, then that reduces how much you can do proximally with real women. Likewise, with porn you get to pic what images you see. So if you want to fuck real women you need to find ones you like. You may be like me where high heels and makeup and slut wear make a big difference. But having your own tastes does not mean porn is bad. You just need to set it up so you get what you want. If you have to have it that way, you are perverted. If you just like it, but it is not mandatory, then you are just a fetishist, like me.
You have to be able to let yourself get into the right mood with your girl. Your parasympathetic nervous system has to take over from your sympathetic.
Most guys wake up with Mr. Stiffy. If so, then it is all psychological. Don't try to use chemicals to separate your lower body from your brain.
SJG
When you masturbate - does everything need to be setup in a specific way? That can make it very difficult to get off - considering you masturbate daily.
this perfectly describes how i feel about my follies VIP experience yesterday. was it bad? no. but i learned i'd rather just spend my $ on table dances.
oh well, you live and you learn.
but as i said before, the VIP wasn't bad or anything, but it just wasn't for me. its just too robotic, disinterested and mechanical to me.
I realize it depends on the girl, but in most cases it's probably gonna be robotic and mechanical. A random woman giving extras to a stranger probably isn't going to be that into in most cases.
Now if you build rapport with her and spend cash on her regularly, she's a lot more likely to perform much better.
That's all I'm saying
P4P sex can be similar to one's first sexual experience - it's often awkward and not very good the first time(s).
I don't do extras too often and I'd say 3/4 of the time I feel I should have saved my $$$ but 1/4 of the time felt it was money very well spent - sometimes a certain custy and dancer click a bit better.