ATF dumped me
11 weeks is all it took for ATF to dump me. ATF was special, she never ever asked for $ until today. She hanged out OTC "just friends" and paid her half of all costs for the dates. ITC in VIP she did DFK every time without asking for $, or even asking permission. All she got was a $20 tip for DFK+other extras without me asking for DFK+extras or her demanding a tip. She really knew how to play with my emotions, since I couldn't separate her from an actual GF until recently.
For the first 3 weeks, her texts were inseparable from a GF, we even arranged OTC "just friends" dates. Then she switch SCs and started to work most days at a bikini bar with no VIP rooms far away but closer to her home instead of my SC with VIP rooms. After that her texts became strictly about her schedule. Eventually she politely told me "tell me about it at the club" which I interpreted as "leave me alone off the clock" which I did.
2nd to last VIP a week ago, I gave no tip because she avoided kissing most of the time and then wanted a backrub which I gladly gave her (she wasn’t a stripper but a “GF” at the moment), but the 2 things were sharply different from before. The backrub was very unprofessional and clock burning. It is almost the same sin as texting in the VIP room infront of a customer. I’d give one for free if it was on main floor or untimed OTC, but I am not going to pay for the privilege of doing it.
Fast forward to today. She made 1 tiny mistake. She talked about "my man" which she never did before. The 2nd time I ever met her she said "There is someone I want to be my boyfriend" in passing. That wording is the politically correct way for a stripper to say you aren't the only one and I am fine with that. I never asked about her BF, since I DONT WANT TO KNOW who else, like customers, dopeman, boyfriend, FWB, etc, is there unless we are doing BBFS. If a stripper told me she was single, I would see it as SS so I don’t ever ask.
I never asked her menu because I thought she was different and not that type of stripper, and once you ask about the menu, you are forever a trick to her. So I never did. There was more than DFK in VIP, also for free/no negotiation/just like a civie GF so there was nothing to ask and I didn’t want to know her menu or its prices. Asking the menu would kill the fantasy. The kissing is unconditional for me.
Her 2nd mistake today was she refused physically to kiss. I asked verbally, and she said "no kissing", I asked "just today [you sucked off a customer] or forever", she said "I dont want to smear my lipstick". After the VIP time was up, I asked if she will kiss in the future, since I'm thinking to myself I am not going to VIP again to satisfy my curiosity when I have fav #2 to feed, and since ATF has been slowly decreasing her service level/her experience week by week, I need to put an end to this NOW. Her answer was "you stopped tipping me, you got comfortable with me for X minutes in VIP, the first couple times was okay, but it takes alot to make out for X dollars". I said nothing and she walked out of the VIP room instantly. On main floor, she ignored me when she walked out of the DR/VIP area, because previously she would always sit down and talk with me after VIP. I left a couple minutes later, since she was the only reason to be there on a dead night. X dollars is her $ after the house takes their cut.
Would you have handled today differently than I did?
From day 1 I knew she is a sex worker, is not forever, is not exclusive. If she wants to know me as "just friends" or FWB or somewhere between FWB and P4P, fine, perfect, I'll suck up every memory while it lasts. That is a dream stripper. Today she got greedy. I played her (the suit "the system"), she played me.
So what should I text to ATF instead of her having the last word? She will probably be in my SC everyday now, since she said she was all but certainly fired from her bikini bar yesterday (faking an ER trip, and the manager asked for her to not come back without her discharge papers) and that is why she is in my SC today on a slow day.
"How much is GFE BBFS?" (burn the bridge, she talks $, I talk $, nothing to loose)
Her specific 2 sins in the VIP room that caused the no tip and maybe give her 1 chance to not be blacklisted, "If there is nothing special between us, I have to move on. So what kind of relationship do you want on what terms? The ball is in your court"? or just "if you want to continue with me, let me know, otherwise I have to move on".
For the first 3 weeks, her texts were inseparable from a GF, we even arranged OTC "just friends" dates. Then she switch SCs and started to work most days at a bikini bar with no VIP rooms far away but closer to her home instead of my SC with VIP rooms. After that her texts became strictly about her schedule. Eventually she politely told me "tell me about it at the club" which I interpreted as "leave me alone off the clock" which I did.
2nd to last VIP a week ago, I gave no tip because she avoided kissing most of the time and then wanted a backrub which I gladly gave her (she wasn’t a stripper but a “GF” at the moment), but the 2 things were sharply different from before. The backrub was very unprofessional and clock burning. It is almost the same sin as texting in the VIP room infront of a customer. I’d give one for free if it was on main floor or untimed OTC, but I am not going to pay for the privilege of doing it.
Fast forward to today. She made 1 tiny mistake. She talked about "my man" which she never did before. The 2nd time I ever met her she said "There is someone I want to be my boyfriend" in passing. That wording is the politically correct way for a stripper to say you aren't the only one and I am fine with that. I never asked about her BF, since I DONT WANT TO KNOW who else, like customers, dopeman, boyfriend, FWB, etc, is there unless we are doing BBFS. If a stripper told me she was single, I would see it as SS so I don’t ever ask.
I never asked her menu because I thought she was different and not that type of stripper, and once you ask about the menu, you are forever a trick to her. So I never did. There was more than DFK in VIP, also for free/no negotiation/just like a civie GF so there was nothing to ask and I didn’t want to know her menu or its prices. Asking the menu would kill the fantasy. The kissing is unconditional for me.
Her 2nd mistake today was she refused physically to kiss. I asked verbally, and she said "no kissing", I asked "just today [you sucked off a customer] or forever", she said "I dont want to smear my lipstick". After the VIP time was up, I asked if she will kiss in the future, since I'm thinking to myself I am not going to VIP again to satisfy my curiosity when I have fav #2 to feed, and since ATF has been slowly decreasing her service level/her experience week by week, I need to put an end to this NOW. Her answer was "you stopped tipping me, you got comfortable with me for X minutes in VIP, the first couple times was okay, but it takes alot to make out for X dollars". I said nothing and she walked out of the VIP room instantly. On main floor, she ignored me when she walked out of the DR/VIP area, because previously she would always sit down and talk with me after VIP. I left a couple minutes later, since she was the only reason to be there on a dead night. X dollars is her $ after the house takes their cut.
Would you have handled today differently than I did?
From day 1 I knew she is a sex worker, is not forever, is not exclusive. If she wants to know me as "just friends" or FWB or somewhere between FWB and P4P, fine, perfect, I'll suck up every memory while it lasts. That is a dream stripper. Today she got greedy. I played her (the suit "the system"), she played me.
So what should I text to ATF instead of her having the last word? She will probably be in my SC everyday now, since she said she was all but certainly fired from her bikini bar yesterday (faking an ER trip, and the manager asked for her to not come back without her discharge papers) and that is why she is in my SC today on a slow day.
"How much is GFE BBFS?" (burn the bridge, she talks $, I talk $, nothing to loose)
Her specific 2 sins in the VIP room that caused the no tip and maybe give her 1 chance to not be blacklisted, "If there is nothing special between us, I have to move on. So what kind of relationship do you want on what terms? The ball is in your court"? or just "if you want to continue with me, let me know, otherwise I have to move on".
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30 comments
Basically you benefitted in the short run from falling into a zone between pure customer and potential date-thing. It sounds like you'd be okay shifting to strictly business, but she doesn't want tone go that route.
So yeah, time to say bye to her. Let her crawl back when the bf dumps her.
Good luck, stay safe, and monger on.
First, I would not have let my little crush turn into anything more, and subsequently overromanticized our relationship. I think that colors EVERYTHING -- if you don't make that mistake, then the comedy of errors can be cut off much more quickly. If you weren't so over-invested and afraid of the answers, you might have asked outright far earlier on, "hey, things have changed and I'm confused as to why, can we talk about it?" Or, alternative, just do what she did: decide she wasn't meeting your needs anymore, even though she once did, and cut her off. One thing we can REALLY learn from the girls -- once your needs aren't being met, make the decision and cut off the relationship. But a guy who has more-than-a-crush is never going to do that.
-->"So what should I text to ATF instead of her having the last word? "
I'd say take a cue from her, and man the fuck up. Move on, just like she did. You don't want her to have the last word? This isn't jr high, it is a BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP, and she is showing you how to act. When you go to the store, and the peaches cost too much, do you just go to another store and buy the peaches there instead, or do you sit around and write breathless posts and scheme about what to write to the first store so it doesn't "have the last word". You're feeling like you were jilted, because you had some inappropriate feelings (that she obviously encouraged along... perhaps she played you)
Just move on, not another word to her. Living well is the best revenge. Find more strippers, have fun, don't develop more than a little crush. As impala said -- sometimes, there's a rapprochement, down the line
If the urge to txt her and look like a fool is too strong, delete her number from your phone.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and look for a new ATF.
Yep, exactly, I've done the same thing once. Once. Some tough brotherly love is what's needed to clear your head.
You need to decide what it is you want from her and if she is not down that is her right and you both move on.
a) do you want GFE for just a $20 tip and that's the end all be all - if this is the case apparently she currently is not down w/ that so if this is your non-negotiable stance then move-on
b) you are willing to pay market rate for what she does (which it appears you haven't) - if so then tell her what you want and what you feel is fair payment and come to an agreement
Strippers don't owe us anything - they are there to make $$$ not tend to our emotions and emotional needs; that's not their job - we pay a fair price and they provide a fair service - nothing more and nothing less should be expected.
There is always another hot young thing waiting to be your ATF (who's even better).
As long as you have money....
Pay up like the rest of us PLs. Looks like she's willing to continue to make out with you if you tip her good.
Forget about BBFS unless you've got JS69 bankroll and game.
Abundance mentality is a powerful thing. Part of why pussy tends to be feast or famine is when you don't NEED pussy the girls can tell, and that's attractive.
Don't go looking for a girlfriend in a strip club. It's like trying to drink a milkshake on a roller coaster - it's messy - frustrating - and it's just not a good idea!
I'm kidding btw.
Oh well. Maybe I'll save a little $ while looking for her replacement. Or maybe she gets over herself and wants back in my good graces. Let's see where this one goes.