ATF relationship nearing the end

Ha, I'd bet we've all been there. Except for the guys who just do spur-of-the-moment OTCs with strippers they just met, it's very easy to get hooked on the sex and the girls and the attention (e.g., texting) more than we hope to. Getting right back on the horse -- and enjoying the ride, or rather, the pursuit of new OTC is as enjoyable to me as the OTC itself -- is what works for me.

Everyone has probably also been at the "I'll never find another like her" feeling. The fact is, you will, if you try. Not EXACTLY like her, but there's a neverending stream of young women with all kinds of things to bring to the table. I lost count how many "I'll never find another girl like her" girls I've found. Not that they're all the same, but all have brought similar levels of awesomeness to my life, in different ways.

As an aside, this is what I think of as one of the dangers of thinking in terms of "dream stripper", and over-romancing how irreplaceable and amazing she is. There's a zillion girls who'll bring the the same amount of awesome (just in different ways). The only thing thinking in terms of "dream stripper" gets you is over-valuing her and her place in your life, getting bummed about how irreplaceable she is, etc. She's not your dream stripper, she just another amazing girl, and there's a neverending stream of them. So break out of 4th-grade level concepts like "dream stripper", it's fucking retarded, and go find your next favorite girl (keeping in mind you might have to go through a few before you find a similar level of awesomeness)

Relationships often don't last. The DS dumped me for a boyfriend, but that only lasted a couple of months. Then she came straight back to my money. So this doesn't necessarily mean the end. Just be sure that things end on a good note, don't be possessive or needy, and there's a good chance that she'll come back one day.

As for how to get over it, there really is only one way. It requires weed and other strippers. There are no substitutes.

Very good points from both of you. I definitely want to end it on good terms once it does end, and I've already told her I was very happy for her.

As far as finding another, that's the best option but like I said I can't get to the club as frequently as I would like. That's what would make the end so difficult, back when I was going to the club pretty much every week it would have been much easier to get distracted by other dancers and move on. But seeing as I am only able to average about one visit a month that makes it much more difficult.

"There's a zillion girls who'll bring the the same amount of awesome (just in different ways). The only thing thinking in terms of "dream stripper" gets you is over-valuing her and her place in your life, getting bummed about how irreplaceable she is, etc. She's not your dream stripper, she just another amazing girl, and there's a neverending stream of them."

I agree with the sentiment but only to an extent. I originally thought that the DS was irreplaceable. Then I met DS II and DS III. They are around 90-95 percent as perfect m as the original, which is pretty fucking amazing. When the DS and I stop playing for good, I will be perfectly happy with one of her namesakes. I was very happy with DS II when the original left me. That's why I agree. There's a never ending stream of strippers who can give you an incredible sexual experience.

But here's where I disagree. There can be a dancer so spectacular and amazing, such a perfect sexual companion, one that you click with perfectly, that she can never be completely replaced. That is the DS to me. Others can come close enough to her to make me completely satisfied and happy. But I am absolutely convinced that no stripper that I can ever find will come as close to being perfect for me as she is. Still I know she'll be gone one day, and when that happens I'll just be grateful for the good times and move on. But I will never completely replace her, and frankly I don't think I'd even want to attempt such a herculean task.

JS-->"Relationships often don't last. The DS dumped me for a boyfriend, but that only lasted a couple of months. Then she came straight back to my money. So this doesn't necessarily mean the end. Just be sure that things end on a good note, don't be possessive or needy, and there's a good chance that she'll come back one day."

Could not agree more. My experience is that there's easily a greater-than 50% chance she'll be back... maybe not next week or even next month, maybe next year. But there's a solid chance. Don't be needy or nasty, leave on a high note about how much you enjoyed your time together and what a privilege it was to get to know here, and leave it there. If you don't hear from her in 6 months, do a polite "just checking in to see how you're doing" kinda text-- sometimes the girls clear out their customers from their contacts list, as a show of commitment to the new boyfriend, so she can't re-contact you when she's coming back.

You'll have no other choice but to pursue another honey. Might end up glad you had too.

I had an OTC favorite surprise me by telling me she had married some stud in another state. It would be a LDR for awhile. She assured me that our OTC would continue. I was glad the OTC would continue but it kind of stung to know she didn't think of me as being man enough to consider it cheating. Lol.

JS-->"But here's where I disagree. There can be a dancer so spectacular and amazing, such a perfect sexual companion, one that you click with perfectly, that she can never be completely replaced. That is the DS to me. Others can come close enough to her to make me completely satisfied and happy. But I am absolutely convinced that no stripper that I can ever find will come as close to being perfect for me as she is. Still I know she'll be gone one day, and when that happens I'll just be grateful for the good times and move on. But I will never completely replace her, and frankly I don't think I'd even want to attempt such a herculean task."

JS, you're pretty unique. Most guys, having gone through all you went through with DS, would have sworn off that type of interaction forever (in fact, the one and only time I ended up in a relationship like that, that's exactly what I did). You, meanwhile, DOUBLED-DOWN on the DS concept and are happier than ever. Your description of DS exactly matches my definition of NS (Nightmare Stripper). In short, I don't think anyone should do JS69 except JS69 :) I'm not trying to talk YOU out of DSing, I'm trying to talk the other guys out of it

I think you're still over-romanticizing when you dig in on "no possible replacement ever". I can't remember, how long have you been doing this? Just a few years, or do I have the wrong guy? If I look back at my ATATF (2009), who I thought was absolutely irreplaceable, I've actually run into two more who matched or exceeded her (they are WAY different than her, but match or exceed her Awesome Quotient), and another couple that have come close. Of course, if you just dig in mentally that no one will ever replace her, it will obviously be self-fulfilling. But I assure all you guys, the most awesome girl in the world didn't happen to be at that one club right when you were going, there are zillions more!

I didn't say that DS I is irreplaceable. To the contrary, DS III could easily replace DS I if necessary. What I said, or at least what I meant, is that a replacement could only come close but could never completely replicate the experience that I had with her.

In any event I agree that playing with DSes is not for everybody. Maybe it's not for most PLs. But I am far from the only one who can enjoy the pursuit of a near perfect stripper.

My ATF and I broke up our P4P relationship once and I was sad just like you. She also had the boyfriend she was into. But they broke up, she got broke and came crawling(texting) back! They seem to come back around. Best thing even if you have limited time to club is to get back out there. Your new girl might not be as perfect in looks but might outdo the original OTC girl in other areas! That's what happened to me! Good luck!

-->"is that a replacement could only come close but could never completely replicate the experience that I had with her."

Aha, time to drag you down into the semantic quicksand. I believe you that no other stripper will replicate the experience you had with DS I. No stripper will ever replicate the experience I had with my ATATF either, partly because it's hard to believe I'll find anyone else with exactly her combination of assets, and partly because it involved unhealthy behaviors that I won't let repeat, and partly because she broke me in to so many new experiences. But, despite not being the exact same type of experience, since my ATATF retired around 2012, I've met not one, but two girls who have matched or exceeded the overall awesome of the experience I had with my ATATF. Different experiences, but just as awesome (and in one case, clearly even better).

You and footballguy and anyone else will ultimately have the same thing -- some ATF who was unique and awesome, but you've run into a new ATF who is also unique and just as awesome ... and you'll be laughing at yourself for being so silly as to think you'd never be able to surpass the level of awesomeness of the experiences with the original

Are you married, football guy?

Life goes on, I'm pretty sure you'll survive.

Do like LDK82 does to get by and get a HJ from a tranny.

Just like the PL will have a hard-time adjusting not getting the sex; often times the dancer has a rough-time adjusting to not having the consistent steady cash-flow – as others have said; it’s a 50/50 chance whether she may contact you again.

You also need to be aware that she may try to hit you up for financial assistance for those time-to-time financial emergencies but still not wanna get w/ you.

I think I wrote this post a couple of years ago, didn't I? :)

I know exactly how you feel, footballguy. :/

@bavarian Yes I am, one of the reasons why it will be very difficult to find another OTC opportunity. I just can't get to the club as much as I'd like. Plus I don't think I have the capability/system to negotiate OTC.

The only reason I got OTC with my ATF was cause she brought it up when she got suspended at work. I might have eventually asked her one day but she's always been the one to take our P4P relationship to the next level. Meaning she was the one that always took the P4P to the next level (first she gave me a HJ without me askinng, presented her pussy for me to DATY without me asking, DFK without me asking, BBBJ without me asking, FS ITC without me asking, BBFS OTC without me asking, etc). That's another reason why I doubt she can be replaced.

It may surprise you. I would let her end it and not even think about it. I have a GFE OTC relationship going with an ex dancer now who is engaged to a guy. She quit dancing a good two years ago. She's been engaged for at least 6 Mos or a year. I keep checking her FB page to see if she's still engaged and she is. I started backing away when I found out she was engaged because I was happy for her. We have been close for about 6 years and dated at one time but now just do the GFE OTC. She called me the other day and wants to go out with me. She said she needs the $$$ I was providing her and doesn't plan on him finding out about us. (She won't be faithful to him after she marries him anyway. She was known to fuck people at random just because she needed the dick) She's a dancer right ? Just Kidding !

I appreciate all the feedback, very good points from all of you. I guess I also just had an epiphany, one way or another my relationship with my ATF/GWB is going to end eventually. It could be in a couple weeks or it could be a few years down the road, but eventually it will end either because she either doesn't wanna see me anymore or I end things with her. One way or another it's gonna happen eventually.

A breakup is cause for jubilation:

youtube.com

Football guy, good perspective. I was very upset when the DS dumped me months ago because I hadn't really thought about it ending. Now I realize it'll end and we sometimes mention that inevitable fact in our conversations. When it happens the next time it'll be much easier.