Us vs. Dancer boyfriend

28 comments

• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  You meant to say I think, "upgrading from her boyfriend to a regular customer". The answer is that most customers treat the dancers as prostitutes. I NEVER do this. SJG
• chessmaster

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  8 years ago

  That would be a downgrade in every other department.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  He excites her and he's physically attractive to her. Just like you might not be likely to upgrade your hot high-maintenance girlfriend for a fat girl with a good personality. Or, as chessmaster says, she thinks her regular customers are a downgrade in every other department
• warhawks

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  8 years ago

  Nightingale/nurse effect. They think they can help and change him. Actually, many girls think they are "the one" to "change" him.
• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  Also, following on the above, when customers get involved with dancers, besides treating them like prostitutes, they also act like they are going to save the girl. Capt'n Save a Ho. So the customer is not open and himself with the girl, and a girl will spot this in 20 seconds. SJG
• RandomMember

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  8 years ago

  Seems like physically and/or emotionally abusive stripper BFs are as common as the lazy and unemployed.
• motorhead

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  8 years ago

  "The answer is that most customers treat the dancers as prostitutes" SJG nailed it correctly. Did you ever see "Pretty Woman"? Remember the character Phil Stuckey (played by George on Seinfeld)? It didn't matter that she wore a $5000 dress. It didn't matter she mingled with high society at the polo match. It didn't matter that she was really smart. What mattered was once a whore - always a whore
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  There are a million reasons - and everyone cited excellent examples above. I can only add... 1. There has always been the theory that many dancers (and girls in general) want to feel superior in the relationship, so they date/marry someone inferior to them, so they can always be the alpha-dog in the relationship. 2. Several dancers see you (the customer) as an immediate loser the moment you walk through the door. No matter how much money you have, how successful you are, or how attractive and charming you are, you still are going to a strip club, and "her man" would never do that.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  My dear TUSCL friends, I think we have a misogynist in the making. Capt'Save'A'Hoe is alive and well. ;)
• Bavarian

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  8 years ago

  Strippers feel that if we are at a strip club it's because no woman wants us. We are practically bottom of the barrel to them. You have a better chance of dating a stripper if she met you anywhere but a strip club
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  "Strippers feel that if we are at a strip club it's because no woman wants us. We are practically bottom of the barrel to them." That is exactly why I am there!!!!!
• chessmaster

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  8 years ago

  That's only true if you're old or Bavarian.
• Bavarian

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  8 years ago

  Hey that's straight from the horse's mouth: stripperweb
• JamesSD

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  8 years ago

  1) the customer is often old 2) she likely has history with the bf 3) he may be her baby daddy 4) she rightly thinks the customer is attracted to her looks and fake stripper personality
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  Bavarian-->"Strippers feel that if we are at a strip club it's because no woman wants us. We are practically bottom of the barrel to them. You have a better chance of dating a stripper if she met you anywhere but a strip club"--> Bav, I realize this is common knowledge among customer as strippers alike ... but I kind of question it. If I look at just my SCing years since I've turned 40, I've dated and friends-with-benefit'ed a handful of dancers. My feeling is, if I met a 22-year-old gorgeous partygirl "anywhere but a strip club", they wouldn't even talk to me. I FWB'ed those girls because they were forced to talk to me as a customer in the club, and then despite themselves, decided they liked me. So, the score: Number of 8.5+ <25-year-olds I've met outside the club, and subsequently FWB'ed or dated, since I turned 40: 0 Number of 8.5+ <25-year-olds I've met in the club, and subsequently FWB'ed or dated, since I turned 40: >4 (exact number is classified)
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  fuck. Let's try the score again. In the years since I"ve turned 40 years old: Number of 8.5+ sub-25-year-old girls I met outside the club and subsequently FWB'ed or dated: 0 Number of 8.5+ sub-25-year-old girls I met in the club and subsequently FWB'ed or dated: 4+ (exact number classified)
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  shailynn-->"1. There has always been the theory that many dancers (and girls in general) want to feel superior in the relationship, so they date/marry someone inferior to them, so they can always be the alpha-dog in the relationship." I think you're absolutely right in that there are lots of reasons, sometimes contrary reasons -- strippers are people, and people have different motivations . That said, I have almost the exact opposite take on the reason quoted above. I have found that among the strippers I"ve known well, the frequency that the stripper has some sort of tragic history, of which very poor treatment by her father is part of the story, exactly matches the pre-conceived notions most of us have -- that is, poor fathers cause a lot of problems. I don't think it's controversial (is it?) that a father is going to be a girl's model for how she should be treated by men... a woman with a loving and caring father is going to look for that in a mate and be less likely to settle for anything less; a woman who is treated badly by her father, well, that's her model for how men should treat her. I realize it's horribly stereotypical and pop psychology-ish ... but it matches what I've seen, to a T
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  shailynn --> "No matter how much money you have, how successful you are, or how attractive and charming you are, you still are going to a strip club, and "her man" would never do that." --> end quote shailynn ^Very true. I have read dancers on both TUSCL and StripperWeb in the archives espose just that. And, too, once I realized that, it took the pressure (self inflicted) that I would *ever* date these women. So now it is simplier and transactional. Bavarian --> "Strippers feel that if we are at a strip club it's because no woman wants us." --> end quote Bavarian ^And it's not just dancers. It's Society that thinks that. In fact, I think the dancers (on the whole) might be more forgiving of this than most of society is. There is a belief that PLs (us) play for it because that's our only option. And we are looked down by society because of this. But it's a fallacy. Many of us pay for it because we *Want* to, not because it is our only option for a (beautiful) woman. Bavarian --> "Bav, I realize this is common knowledge among customer as strippers alike ... but I kind of question it." --> end quote Bavarian ^I think it has more to do with society looking down on men who pay for it. I think the dancers understand us more than society does. So the dancers are getting a bad rap here, IMO. I agree with you.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  Dominic & Subra, Just remember the girls that post on stripper web are mostly poseurs, and more full of themselves than normal, on that site its mainly a venting space, that the unhappy girls with issues use to lash out at their perceived oppressors. Most of the strippers that post here in the boys locker room, come across as reasonable not man hating psychos, some are a bit militant but most of our girls, do seem to have a sense of humor unlike the pink site which I rarely look at mainly because there is so much anger there directed at the guys and gals who pay their bills.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  Money will not make her love you, like you, or be turned-on by you – sure; she may put up w/ you out of need for a while but she’d rather you pay the bills while she fucks somebody else.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  You are right Papi but what other business person posts online, about hating their customers SW is a total cluster fuck.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  For the most-part SCs and everyone associated w/ them (dancers; custies; staff) are looked at w/ disdain by most of society – b/c of this custies for the most-part would not seriously date a dancer (in reality except just to fuck-her whenever he wants) and dancers for the most-part would not seriously date a custy – we often see each other as majorly flawed in some unacceptable way. Strippers end-up w/ losers for the most-part IMO b/c women like to be in relationships; almost need or have to be; for the most-part they can’t get by w/ just sex like many men can – and for the most-part an avg successful guy will not stick w/ a working stripper or at least for very long.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  ^^^Total agreement with you
• warhawks

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  8 years ago

  Still think this is the most appropriate advice any of us clubbers can take to heart. "You can't buy love in a strip club. But you can rent it for 3 minutes." [view link]
• ButterMan

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  8 years ago

  Supra is right about one thing...I've met a few strippers over the years and become FWB. And yes unless they met me in the cllub where they were forced to spend time with me this would not have happened. I would have been too much older than them for them to consider hanging out with. But to the OP women these days not just strippers tend to like guys who need fixing, or as they say have an edge. Thats code for drug dealer,thug,somebody else's man..etc. You get the point! Not to mention most of us are way older than them.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  B-Man ... yeah, it's always struck me as a little ... I dunno, "ironic", maybe ... that the same codgers who talk about having sex with a gorgeous 22 year old, might also repeat that old mantra about "once you're a customer you'll never be anything else" etc. It may be rare that we score a stripper for free, but it happens once in a while, whereas outside of strippers, I'd guess most of us over 40 have scored exactly 0 super-hot women under 25 years old for free (well okay, I scored a bodyrub girl, but same diff -- sex biz connection)
• Ugluck75

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  8 years ago

  2 things come to mind. 1- Lots of customers treat strippers like crap so some average joe might look appealing. 2- Not all stripper's boyfriends are losers. I am dating a stripper and although am not quite her boyfriend (yet at least) but I am relatively normal, have 2 jobs, have a house, and most importantly treat her right.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  Hotstuff that's a fairly good insight, but just to clarify, you can buy a relationship with enough money, you just cant buy the kind of relationship the OP wants.