How many times do I have to look at a perfectly spectacular set of boobs, nicely shaped, pert nipples, with the perfect softness and just the right heft in my hand, and hear "I wish they were bigger/smaller/fuller/perkier/whatever"? I swear, the next time I hear that from a girl with gorgeous breasts, I'm gonna tell her "one more word about how inadequate your boobs are, and I'm not gonna tip you anything."
Aww, who the hell am I kidding? I'm gonna keep right on playing and mouth meaningless platitudes about how they're just right just the way they are. She's not listening anyway.

