Etiquette
footballguy
NC
I was sitting at a table this afternoon by myself waiting for on of my CF's (and a LDK Queen has LDK would say). The club was somewhat busy, good mix of customers and dancers but a lot of dancers sitting with their regulars. But there were quite a few guys sitting by themselves so any dancers would have their pick of who to target for dancers.
Anyway a dancer was working that I had seen on my previous visit and got two dances from. On that previous visit we only talked for a couple minutes before the lap dances and then when our separate ways after (I gave no indication that I wanted to see her again other than a small tip). She really didn't have an attractive face, the only reason I got dances from her was cause her body was decent and she was the first dancer to approach me and none of my regular dancers was working. The lap dances weren't good so I had no interest in getting any more in the future.
Well she was there today and I did my best to avoid making eye contact with her. I don't know if she remembered me but I didn't wanna take the chance. There were a lot of other dancers working that I liked so I really didn't want her to approach me.
I had gotten a few dances from one of my regular dancers and then went to sit by myself for a bit. A few minutes later the CF lap dance queen stopped by to say hi and that she was gonna go to freshen up but she'd be back in a few minutes. As I was sitting waiting for the LDK queen the dancer I was trying to avoid came up to me a few minutes later.
I didn't make eye contact with her, she just came over and sat right down without asking. As soon as she sat I told her I was actually waiting for someone. She took offense to this and said "you don't have to be so rude, you could have at least said hi first".
I still don't know if she remembered me from my previous visit, if she did then I suppose she is right and I should have said hi to her first. But I also think it's rude for a dancer to sit at your table without asking unless you are a regular of hers. My point is I don't want her sitting for even a minute to exchange pleasantries so I don't risk a dancer I want to see seeing that I'm sitting with someone and then she goes to a different customer.
Story has a good ending though, I got dances from my lap dance queen a few minutes later and it was mission complete in just over three songs.
Anyway a dancer was working that I had seen on my previous visit and got two dances from. On that previous visit we only talked for a couple minutes before the lap dances and then when our separate ways after (I gave no indication that I wanted to see her again other than a small tip). She really didn't have an attractive face, the only reason I got dances from her was cause her body was decent and she was the first dancer to approach me and none of my regular dancers was working. The lap dances weren't good so I had no interest in getting any more in the future.
Well she was there today and I did my best to avoid making eye contact with her. I don't know if she remembered me but I didn't wanna take the chance. There were a lot of other dancers working that I liked so I really didn't want her to approach me.
I had gotten a few dances from one of my regular dancers and then went to sit by myself for a bit. A few minutes later the CF lap dance queen stopped by to say hi and that she was gonna go to freshen up but she'd be back in a few minutes. As I was sitting waiting for the LDK queen the dancer I was trying to avoid came up to me a few minutes later.
I didn't make eye contact with her, she just came over and sat right down without asking. As soon as she sat I told her I was actually waiting for someone. She took offense to this and said "you don't have to be so rude, you could have at least said hi first".
I still don't know if she remembered me from my previous visit, if she did then I suppose she is right and I should have said hi to her first. But I also think it's rude for a dancer to sit at your table without asking unless you are a regular of hers. My point is I don't want her sitting for even a minute to exchange pleasantries so I don't risk a dancer I want to see seeing that I'm sitting with someone and then she goes to a different customer.
Story has a good ending though, I got dances from my lap dance queen a few minutes later and it was mission complete in just over three songs.
16 comments
-->"My point is I don't want her sitting for even a minute to exchange pleasantries so I don't risk a dancer I want to see seeing that I'm sitting with someone and then she goes to a different customer. "
I realize sometimes these things are spontaneous, but 99% of the time, a little communication with your intended girl is all that's needed. I'll even text my girl, "don't worry if there's another girl at the table when you come out, I've already told her I'm waiting for you." In short, for me at least, there's almost never a time where I'm worried that the girl I want will glance over at the wrong time, see another girl, and walk away. That fact means I can handle everything else in a relaxed way.
Anyway, with that as context, I agree with the other stripper -- it's a bit rude to not even say hi. In your position, I'd say you give her a big smile, say hi, ask how she's doing, then let her know right away, "I have an appointment with someone else today, and I'm worried if she sees you here she'll go find a different customer, can I catch up with you another time?" In my position, where I've already made an appointment and my stripper knows she should come over even if I"m with someone else, I'll instead tell her, "I'm waiting for Porsche, but feel free to hang out so we can catch up, otherwise I'll catch you later."
Yes some dancers ask if they can sit but this isn't a universal rule or anything. There's nothing wrong with sending them away, but just be nice and polite about it.
Subra's also has good suggestions.
@LDK no there weren't two LDQ's. I wanted nothing to do with the dancer I was trying to get rid of.
But I also agree that dancers should not invite themselves to sit w/ you and I’m sure many dancers do this on purpose as a way to try to convince you (and sometimes badger you) into getting dances – even worse is when you are not at all interested and they come and sit on your lap and are all over you or grinding on you unsolicited – I don’t think most of us would go up to a dancer sitting by herself at a table and sit w/ her w/o asking if it’s alright first.
You did the right thing but I guess one is supposed to play nice – it’s not as if you told her “fuck off bitch” you just told her you were not interested – it’s business – not “The Dating Game” – she was cock-blocking you and you had no interest just as when a dancer has no interest in you and blows you off.
I think that is rude on their part.
I usually just say "Nice chatting with you, but I'm waiting on my CF"....just try to be a polite as possible.
Also, it is awkward, for me at least, to turn down dance offers from someone I got dances from in the past...but didn't like her dance style/moves. It's almost as if they think everyone should like them and how they dance.
Still, a polite, but direct approach is always best.
This is the type of situation that contributed to my thinking about who goes to the strip club.
If she told you not to be afraid, then she definitely got the hint :) You know, I handle this type of situation completely differently. Usually, I'll smile, say hi, maybe talk for a few seconds, then thank her for coming by but tell her that I'm not interested, all politely. I'm not afraid of the girls so I don't use passive aggressive things like turning away, ignoring them,etc. And I've even gotten some pretty fun drinking partners that way, fun girls who I'm not attracted to but who are fun company while I'm waiting for my girl.
I will admit that, even though I'm a tireless activist for dealing with the girls with respect, but directly, firmly, and with confidence, and never being passive aggressive or beta, I have to admit that even I have plenty of moments where I just don't want to fucking deal with one more unattractive, abrasive stripper. But at least 80% of the time or more, I treat them with respect but take control of the conversation and handle them, and they leave with a smile.
Me: Hi, (exchange pleasantries)
Dancer: (exchange pleasantries)
Me: I won't be getting any dances from you tonight. I'll be sitting with someone else. (maybe tip her $5, maybe not)
Dancer: Oh, okay.
.
If she doesn't leave soon after, I take the assertive action --> I get up and leave. Either I go to the rail/rack and go shopping, or I go find another dancer in the room, and invite her back to my table. Usually the rejected dancer sees me walking back to the table with someone else, and the rejected dancer will get up an leave (finally).
"Well she was there today and I did my best to avoid making eye contact with her."
Once you had that attitude you were on the defensive. Why let her presence make you feel uncomfortable? If she comes over, she comes over. Just always be nice but assertive and there won't be any miscommunication. Usually.