Etiquette

16 comments

• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  I would have said hello to her and told her I was with someone else today, being nice but not allowing myself to be cunt blocked.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  Let me tell you what I think the key issue here is, and it's not the one you think it is: -->"My point is I don't want her sitting for even a minute to exchange pleasantries so I don't risk a dancer I want to see seeing that I'm sitting with someone and then she goes to a different customer. " I realize sometimes these things are spontaneous, but 99% of the time, a little communication with your intended girl is all that's needed. I'll even text my girl, "don't worry if there's another girl at the table when you come out, I've already told her I'm waiting for you." In short, for me at least, there's almost never a time where I'm worried that the girl I want will glance over at the wrong time, see another girl, and walk away. That fact means I can handle everything else in a relaxed way. Anyway, with that as context, I agree with the other stripper -- it's a bit rude to not even say hi. In your position, I'd say you give her a big smile, say hi, ask how she's doing, then let her know right away, "I have an appointment with someone else today, and I'm worried if she sees you here she'll go find a different customer, can I catch up with you another time?" In my position, where I've already made an appointment and my stripper knows she should come over even if I"m with someone else, I'll instead tell her, "I'm waiting for Porsche, but feel free to hang out so we can catch up, otherwise I'll catch you later."
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  You're making this way way too complicated. When the one you don't want comes by be polite, exchange pleasantries, and then tell her that you are waiting for x who will be out of the dressing room in a minute. I think she was justifiably pissed because you were rude. Yes some dancers ask if they can sit but this isn't a universal rule or anything. There's nothing wrong with sending them away, but just be nice and polite about it. Subra's also has good suggestions.
• chessmaster

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  8 years ago

  You're an asswhole.
• JamesSD

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  8 years ago

  Yeah, I get that you don't want to waste her time or yours, but you could have been more polite. Say hi fiestate before telling her you're waiting for someone.
• footballguy

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  8 years ago

  That all makes sense, most of the time when I say no thanks the dancer usually asks me if they can sit first. So makes sense that at the least I should say hi before trying to get rid of her. @LDK no there weren't two LDQ's. I wanted nothing to do with the dancer I was trying to get rid of.
• DaOnion

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  8 years ago

  I think the issue was that you had gotten dances from her before. She felt like she knew you, so the cold brush off hurt her. Had you given that same reply to a dancer you did not know at all, it may not have been quite as rude.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  I don’t think you were rude on purpose or trying to be rude – I think you were kinda worked-up about avoiding her and it was kinda a hair-trigger reaction to tell her “no” and nothing else – I’ve kinda done this b/f myself and I agree that one should always try to be as pleasant as possible unless the dancer is not cooperating with the pleasant approach. But I also agree that dancers should not invite themselves to sit w/ you and I’m sure many dancers do this on purpose as a way to try to convince you (and sometimes badger you) into getting dances – even worse is when you are not at all interested and they come and sit on your lap and are all over you or grinding on you unsolicited – I don’t think most of us would go up to a dancer sitting by herself at a table and sit w/ her w/o asking if it’s alright first. You did the right thing but I guess one is supposed to play nice – it’s not as if you told her “fuck off bitch” you just told her you were not interested – it’s business – not “The Dating Game” – she was cock-blocking you and you had no interest just as when a dancer has no interest in you and blows you off.
• Cowboy12

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  8 years ago

  I have had dancers just sit down and start talking. No introduction, no "my name is x, would you like company". I think that is rude on their part. I usually just say "Nice chatting with you, but I'm waiting on my CF"....just try to be a polite as possible. Also, it is awkward, for me at least, to turn down dance offers from someone I got dances from in the past...but didn't like her dance style/moves. It's almost as if they think everyone should like them and how they dance. Still, a polite, but direct approach is always best.
• Dur_Flush

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  8 years ago

  I think. No, I strongly believe that you handheld the situation appropriately
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  Dancers don't always ask to sit, even thought they should. And some dancers get hurt if you reject them too quickly. So both you and the dancer both have a point here. With that said, like JohnSmith said, you are making this way too complicated.
• Corvus

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  8 years ago

  I agree with John, you are making way to much out of this. Based on what you wrote she didn't say hi first either. This is the type of situation that contributed to my thinking about who goes to the strip club.
• aks451

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  8 years ago

  A long time ago. I was at Centerfolds in Houston. I was waiting on a dancer when this FUGLY FUGLY FUGLY one sat at my table without asking. Not my thing at all. Shrinkage. Shriveling. I closed off my posture. Turned away. She didn't get the hint. She said, "don't be afraid." I replied, "It's not that I'm afraid, it's just that I'm not interested." It took her a few seconds, but then she got it. Soon after she left, the dancer I was waiting for came along. All better. I guess I could have been more polite, and it's not like I'm not anything to write home about, but man, yuck!
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  -->"I closed off my posture. Turned away. She didn't get the hint. She said, "don't be afraid."" If she told you not to be afraid, then she definitely got the hint :) You know, I handle this type of situation completely differently. Usually, I'll smile, say hi, maybe talk for a few seconds, then thank her for coming by but tell her that I'm not interested, all politely. I'm not afraid of the girls so I don't use passive aggressive things like turning away, ignoring them,etc. And I've even gotten some pretty fun drinking partners that way, fun girls who I'm not attracted to but who are fun company while I'm waiting for my girl. I will admit that, even though I'm a tireless activist for dealing with the girls with respect, but directly, firmly, and with confidence, and never being passive aggressive or beta, I have to admit that even I have plenty of moments where I just don't want to fucking deal with one more unattractive, abrasive stripper. But at least 80% of the time or more, I treat them with respect but take control of the conversation and handle them, and they leave with a smile.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  . Me: Hi, (exchange pleasantries) Dancer: (exchange pleasantries) Me: I won't be getting any dances from you tonight. I'll be sitting with someone else. (maybe tip her $5, maybe not) Dancer: Oh, okay. . If she doesn't leave soon after, I take the assertive action --> I get up and leave. Either I go to the rail/rack and go shopping, or I go find another dancer in the room, and invite her back to my table. Usually the rejected dancer sees me walking back to the table with someone else, and the rejected dancer will get up an leave (finally).
• flagooner

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  8 years ago

  I don't think your perceived rudeness was intentional, but I think you set yourself up for it. "Well she was there today and I did my best to avoid making eye contact with her." Once you had that attitude you were on the defensive. Why let her presence make you feel uncomfortable? If she comes over, she comes over. Just always be nice but assertive and there won't be any miscommunication. Usually.