Buying things for dancers

gawker
Older than dirt
Earlier JS69 replied in a thread, I'll buy dancers a drink, weed, whatever they want within reason, if I'm into them. This started me thinking about what's going on with my CF. After spending a fair amount on Champagne Room visits, lap dances, etc. I made it clear that OTC had to be next on the agenda if there was going to be a next. She gave me a terribly inflated, absurd figure, from which we negotiated. I still paid double what I should have but the payoff was well worth it.
I then explained that she now knew she wasn't inviting Jack the Ripper into her apartment, that there was some pleasure for her in my visits and that realistically I couldn't afford her at the inflated price. She said don't worry about it, we'll work something out. Since then we've hung out several times. Once I took her grocery shopping ($160), another time I bought her hair extensions ($307), kitchen table &chairs.($380), etc. Today I ordered on-line a pair of "Designer" rubber boots from Saks ($307).
Now every gift has been rewarded with fantastic FS usually with BBBJCIM. I know very little about her life outside the club. I once met a girl friend of hers and once as I was arriving a very handsome, 30ish guy was leaving. I asked who he was and she said it was her ex and her very best friend. I don't know if she has other "customers", friends with benefits, dirty old men, or pathetic losers. I guess I find that to be disconcerting in that after 6 or 7 years with my ATF I knew EVERYTHING about her.
I may have an ideal situation and yet, dare I say, I miss the drama. She only occasionally texts me, has never just asked for money, and frankly the price is right. I suspect that this arrangement allows her to look in a mirror and know she's not a whore. Anyone ever have a setup like this?

12 comments

Latest

jestrite50
9 years ago
Yes I have had a similar setup. I don't see her as often now as I used to but did arrange to hook up with her this past Thursday night. I used to buy her clothes, groceries, booze, household items as needed. I gave her $1000 down payment on a car. She messed up one time and did 2 separate stints in jail at 6 months each. During that time I paid her rent and kept her utilities on and provided some of the cost for someone to watch her son while she was in jail. I have backed away a little now and just see her for an occasional romp between the sheets. She has a boyfriend now but will still hook up if I text her. I don't buy her anything now anymore except birthday and Christmas I get her something. We have an agreed upon price if she comes to see me for a "date night" dinner then 2 or 3 hours at my hotel. We used to be together all the time but the boyfriend thing made it now just an occasional outing.
shailynn
9 years ago
Gawker - so you ask if your current buddy is seeing other guys. It's possible but I am unclear on a few things.

You said the 30ish guy was leaving her apartment, does she live alone or does her very best friend live with her as well? If her "very best friend" doesn't live there with her then the guy is seeing her too.

Judging by what you've bought her, it sounds like she has expensive taste. Do you have any idea what she is making as a stripper? Do the things lying around her apartment add up to more than what she is making? If that's the case then she is probably seeing other guys.


I had a similar situation. I had a deep relationship with a stripper, but she lived in two time zones away from me and on average we saw each other once a month for a year. During the first year I have no idea if she was seeing someone else but I lean towards "no" because she would talk to me several times a week and often cry on the phone that she missed me. Eventually the cried stopped, and the phone calls lessened, and I imagined she started seeing guys other than me too. During a visit, we could both see the writing on the wall that it was our swan song, and the end was there.

My point is, she will give hints if she's seeing other guys, you just have to be savvy enough to catch it. This sounds like something that will bother you, and if it does maybe it's time to find a new one. Then again, you can have her bash a bottle over your head and get arrested, then maybe she will live up to your drama expectations!
gawker
9 years ago
Thanks, Shailynn. I'd almost feel better if she had someone else. She lives alone and has expensive taste but also has debt. I'm unsure how much but when we had our first OTC it was for mostly cash and she said it was all going to pay back a friend. When I first met her she had a tv and a bed. She now has two couches ( one from me) and kitchen furniture. She's only 23 and new to stripping and not 100% happy with it. She's been suspended from work several times ( she says for repeatedly being late) , she has no car, and has a little ankle-biter dog. One time she postponed a "date" with me since she had a "real date" with a guy her own age. She said they had fun and ended the night with a kiss. Two weeks later she saw him again and he had learned she was a stripper. "As soon as he knows I'm a stripper he wants a blowjob before a movie!" "I threw him out".
Given the 47 year difference in our ages, neither of us is kidding ourselves about a relationship. She texts me poems late at night and always acknowledges that I'm married, but that I mean a lot to her and that my support (financial & emotional) is needed. It's just very different from the cacophony I've grown used to.
Bavarian
9 years ago
I like Gawker's stories.

Good for you Gawker. You have a nice arrangement with a stripper who reciprocates and appreciates you.

It doesn't matter that strippers date and have boyfriends as long as their service doesn't go down which is always a possibility.
Subraman
9 years ago
I've had one, unspoken-but-clearly-understood relationship where there came a point where she wasn't comfortable with straight-up transactional sex... so instead of giving her cash, I'd buy her stuff and, lo and behold, sex would happen shortly after. There's some nice things about this kind of arrangement, but I also think you need to be clear-headed, since it's easy to fool yourself into believing it's not quid pro blow and that she just likes having sex with you.
jackslash
9 years ago
I used to buy some small stuff for my ATF and pay some of her bills. I also paid her for sex. I was happy to do it, making myself a PL.

All these strippers have a young boyfriend and other customers. We're only fooling ourselves when we think otherwise.
gawker
9 years ago
Subra man - I didn't know you were a lawyer "quid pro blow". Can you also serve her with a Writ of Ducas Penis?
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
I’m a glass-half-empty type of PL.

In my limited experience dealing w/ OTC with dancers; it seems for the most part in my particular cases that the nicer I was and the more I gave them the less and less they appreciated it w/ time and the more they expected it “just b/c” (i.e. they would start to just ask for things they wanted w/o any desire on their part to reciprocate).

Obviously not all dancers are alike and not all PLs have the same game but from numerous past TUCL threads/comments I think my results are fairly common.
DaOnion
9 years ago
Gawker, who is the girl in your avatar? She's hot. I like her.
Bavarian
9 years ago
That's my experience as well Papi.

magicrat
9 years ago
I used to buy my ATF oxy.
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
FWIW, what I plan to be doing is paying my women for lingerie photo modelling sessions.

I will be using the pics for commercial purposes, so I will want clear legal ownership. And I'll always comply with that federal records keeping law. But the exercise also serves the additional purposes of getting her to dress and paint up for me. And then the girls I do this with will also be those I was already having sex with. So this sex will be implied.

So ITC fees and OTC fees are just for the beginning. Then I'll shift them over to the photo sessions. I'll probably be paying them more for the photo sessions, but the understanding will be different.

I'll also be introducing them to my other associates and getting involved in their lives in terms of career building and other issues.

Especially in Mexico, spanning an economic and cultural divide, and where prostitution is more common and more accepted, I'll be always keeping the deal sweet by supplying this money and doing these sessions.

Not really interested in Sugar Babies, more interested in Mistresses, women that use their money responsibly and are interested in second careers.

SJG

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