Scariest car ride of my life
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
The Tootsies parking lot is the size of the average mall parking lot. I'm riding to a black dive with a certain Tuscl member. I won't mention his name but it rhymes with heck. We are walking to his car. He's parked about .7 miles from the club entrance. I ask why are you parked four times as far from the entrance as every other car. He says he needed to smoke weed and there were cops patrolling. Good reason.
I used to think that the car that the DS drives smelled a lot like weed. I no longer think that. You can get high just from 60 seconds of sitting in heck's car. The smell of marijuana is stronger here than on a marijuana farm. It is incredibly overpowering. I like this smell. I just don't like it in the car that I'm getting ready to drive away in.
I sit down and heck throws a bag of about 1/2 oz of weed in my lap. If you don't smoke, 1/2 oz is a good amount. Heck clearly has other bags of marijuana food items all over the place. I consider hiding it all in the trunk, but what's the use. The smell is overpowering. I immediately go into lawyer mode, figuring out all of my defenses to keep myself out of jail when the cops pull us over. If that happens heck is spending six months in jail. But I've got ten reasons in my head why the cops should let me go. Sorry heck. That's the risk you take when you drive with a lawyer.
Heck lights a joint and start driving. I tell him to drop the damn drugs. Even driving with the DS is not this scary. And she's got big tits to distract me from the risk of imminent death. Heck has no tits.
My job is navigator. But I'm very high. So I'm struggling to follow the funny little blue dot on the gps. Several times I call out the wrong turn and correct myself at the last minute. Heck lights up another joint.
I consider calling Papi and asking for him to pick me up. But we've were walking in the parking lot so,long that Papi is long gone. I'm all alone with heck.
I've never been so scared since I found out the DS had a whale with more money than me. At a stop light heck throws the bag of weed in my lap again. He's a funny little fucker. I don't know what's worse. The fear or dying in a car crash. The fear of the cops pulling us over and finding heck's weed. You can smell the weed a block before we get there. Or maybe it's the fear of the cops finding the vapes in my pocket. And there's also the fear of me directing the car into a lake or a tree. I can't get the office episode out of my head where Michael follows the gps into a lake.
Occasionally I feel like my stripper habits are going to get me in serious trouble. This is one of those occasions. But here's the really funny thing. While I was terrified, Heck was a great driver. He drove the speed limit, he stayed in the lanes. He handled my gps screw ups and kept us on track. He drove very safely, and we never were in any actual danger. He clearly wasn't really high when we left. He just liked making me think he was high. Most of my fear was really just the weed making me paranoid, and the fact that I could be spending the next day in jail instead of on south beach.
But I don't want to give heck any more of a hard time. He was the tuscl member who did the greatest act of kindness. Hint. It involved Hanna Banana.
So we made it to the black dive. Talk about paranoia. That feeling had just begun.
I'm going to the beach now but more stories later. Next up: my first visit to a black dive.
I used to think that the car that the DS drives smelled a lot like weed. I no longer think that. You can get high just from 60 seconds of sitting in heck's car. The smell of marijuana is stronger here than on a marijuana farm. It is incredibly overpowering. I like this smell. I just don't like it in the car that I'm getting ready to drive away in.
I sit down and heck throws a bag of about 1/2 oz of weed in my lap. If you don't smoke, 1/2 oz is a good amount. Heck clearly has other bags of marijuana food items all over the place. I consider hiding it all in the trunk, but what's the use. The smell is overpowering. I immediately go into lawyer mode, figuring out all of my defenses to keep myself out of jail when the cops pull us over. If that happens heck is spending six months in jail. But I've got ten reasons in my head why the cops should let me go. Sorry heck. That's the risk you take when you drive with a lawyer.
Heck lights a joint and start driving. I tell him to drop the damn drugs. Even driving with the DS is not this scary. And she's got big tits to distract me from the risk of imminent death. Heck has no tits.
My job is navigator. But I'm very high. So I'm struggling to follow the funny little blue dot on the gps. Several times I call out the wrong turn and correct myself at the last minute. Heck lights up another joint.
I consider calling Papi and asking for him to pick me up. But we've were walking in the parking lot so,long that Papi is long gone. I'm all alone with heck.
I've never been so scared since I found out the DS had a whale with more money than me. At a stop light heck throws the bag of weed in my lap again. He's a funny little fucker. I don't know what's worse. The fear or dying in a car crash. The fear of the cops pulling us over and finding heck's weed. You can smell the weed a block before we get there. Or maybe it's the fear of the cops finding the vapes in my pocket. And there's also the fear of me directing the car into a lake or a tree. I can't get the office episode out of my head where Michael follows the gps into a lake.
Occasionally I feel like my stripper habits are going to get me in serious trouble. This is one of those occasions. But here's the really funny thing. While I was terrified, Heck was a great driver. He drove the speed limit, he stayed in the lanes. He handled my gps screw ups and kept us on track. He drove very safely, and we never were in any actual danger. He clearly wasn't really high when we left. He just liked making me think he was high. Most of my fear was really just the weed making me paranoid, and the fact that I could be spending the next day in jail instead of on south beach.
But I don't want to give heck any more of a hard time. He was the tuscl member who did the greatest act of kindness. Hint. It involved Hanna Banana.
So we made it to the black dive. Talk about paranoia. That feeling had just begun.
I'm going to the beach now but more stories later. Next up: my first visit to a black dive.
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Here's a simple 13 step solution to alleviate your first "problem" above:
1. Buy a Harley.
2. Get run off I-75 in the rain by a car.
3. Break your right ankle.
4. Drop the Harley on your right foot.
5. Break your right foot.
6. Visit two doctors that miss fractures in said foot.
7. Walk funny a year or so in pain.
8 Visit a new doctor.
9. Spend a year in treatment with little results.
10. Have foot surgically repaired.
11. Have above mentioned right ankle further repaired.
12. Get handicap parking permit.
13. Park at entrance to Tootsie's about 20 yards away.
Clubber, I would prefer your solution to another car ride with heck.
25, yes we are all fine. Well actually I'm not sure about heck. I think he was driving back to Detroit in the weed car.
Rech, go away. This story does not concern you.
I can't say the same for Rech. He and I both fell in lust with Hanna Banana. Sadly this did not work out too well for Rech. I will let him post some lies about what happened before I tell the true story.
Rech told me he was driving to Jacksonville (basically Georgia) last evening. I told him to try the Doll House there, and skip Cafe Risque in Micanopy,
Was Hanna the long straight haired blond, the one that offered me a Monica with my cigar?
As soon as she gets in the car she starts snorting the coke that she had just picked up. Pissed me off so bad that when we got of the interstate, I told her that she owed me a BJ and I wanted it now. So there I was, going westbound on I-26 at 65mph with coke in the car and a stripper sucking my dick. Fortunately we never got stopped.
JS69 - Have at it.
Didn't Rech try to hand you a bag in the club when he was sitting beside me on the couch? Right about when the food was being ordered.
Maybe we should start TUSCLFOF?
1. i assumed this was going to be about you riding through a bad neighboorhood
2. i assumed, since you were riding to a BLACK dive in MIAMI, that the tuscl member was chulo
these are two assumptions i probably would have put money on.......but i guess that's why you should never assume
I’ve done Tootsies many times and it doesn’t do much for me these days since it’s pretty much the polar opposite of a black dive which is where I prefer to spend my disposable income.
I wasn’t sure if people were actually gonna show and some of the TUSCLers said they would stay late even if they showed – so since Tootsies is not my bag I didn’t want to be there for 4 to 6 hours so I was planning to show-up around 10 pm and stay 2 hours or so.
I was texting with clubber and twentyfive and they informed me 4 TUSCLers were there – so I decided to stop by b/f 10 pm so I could catch up w/ them – ended up getting to da club around 8:30 or 8:45 pm and had to pay the $30 cover to go to the Tootsies 2nd-floor VIP where the gang was hanging-out (and it’s a better place to hang than on the main floor) – the 2nd-floor VIP is free b/f 8 pm and $30 after 8 pm (regular cover is $10 and 2nd-floor VIP is $20 on top) – if one is sitting in VIP b/f 8 pm they can stay there and not have to pay – but if they go downstairs they have to pay to come back-up if it’s after 8 pm – in retrospect I wish I would have gotten their at 6 pm so I could’ve hung w/ the fellas and avoided the $30 cover.
By around 10 pm clubber and twentyfive needed to get-going and Rech said he wanted to check-out a black dive – originally me and Rech were supposed to hit a black-dive on Sat afternoon but Rech was leaving (driving out of) Miami that night so we decided to hit the black dive on Fr eve after leaving Tootsies.
So me, Rech, and JS69 were the ones left at Tootsies and decided to go check-out the black dive.
I have an eyesight condition since birth that has degenerated over time and my eyesight is fairly poor these days (I’m 46 and have eyesight like a 90 y/o) – b/c of this I don’t like people riding w/ me while I’m driving – for their safety and b/c most people often almost have a heart-attack when they are in my car and I’m driving – thus I suggested to JS69 (whom did not have a car) to ride with Rech whom did have a car and I’d meet them at The Body Club (the black dive).
And that is how JS69 ended up riding w/ dime-bag Rech :).
The black dive scene at night is not what it is on dayshift which is usually when I visit – we spent about 45 mins there and then we took-off. JS69 asked me if I could drive him to his hotel so he would not be in the car w/ dime-bag Rech and his “pharmaceuticals” – I drove JS to his hotel upon leaving the black-dive and in retrospect he probably felt it was safer driving w/ dime-bag Rech due to my vision impaired erratic driving.
:)
I could smell the weed, but didn't know where it came from.
All in all, an enjoyable evening!