Guilt

54 comments

• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  If I were to be completely honest, I think the method I used, and that most people use, and that you are beginning to feel out, is rationalization: " The wife and I are good and honestly I think things are better in the bedroom because I go." That's probably not the healthiest way to address it, but hey, it works!
• Phoenix133

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  8 years ago

  I can understand the helping out in the bedroom, when ever my bf and I would go to strip clubs he would get aroused by seeing other naked women and 99.9% at the end of the night when we went home we would have sex then go to bed. I can also understand the guilt thing, but from a different perspective. As a dancer sometimes when I am at work I just wont be in the mood and I'll feel guilty all night cause I'm dancing for other men, even though I'm not really doing anything with them, I will feel guilty about it usually the whole night and some into the next day. I usually deal with by taking a break for a while and spending some quality time with my guy then going back when I'm in a better state.
• Dominic77

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  8 years ago

  Married dude here too. I stopped going to SCs after I met my wife about 12 years ago. I stopped on my own it wasn't something she asked me to do. She knew what I did there when I did go and she didn't have a problem with it. I started going again back last year at her suggestion. Going does help me relax and put me overall in a better mood at home, which my wife appreciates. I tip, buy the dancer a drink, talk and tip some more, maybe buy a string of dances, take a break, drink and talk some more. The dance is just a dance. I think I agree with Subraman that maybe the way you are approaching SCs and dancers isn't the healthiest way to do it.
• jmiddle30234

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  8 years ago

  Been married a long time and got married young. I have my limits squeeze tits fiv in the VIP room it's fun to see if I can get the dancer off. I never unzip or anything like that. Financially I can afford it but I still don't want to over pay and I get bored easily so it relieves the bordem
• anongirl98

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  8 years ago

  i was seeing a married guy for a while and I can't definitely relate to the guilt. Although I wasn't the one cheating and he told me that they had an unsaid agreement that sometime he needed stress relief in the form of fun sex, I still couldn't shake the guilt. I ended things when I realized they had been married long than I had been alive, lol
• anongirl98

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  8 years ago

  Can definitely*
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  I've been married to the same woman for 30 years, and have been faithful to her for that entire time. I have sex with strippers because mynwife no longer wants to, though I also did before that, just not quite as much. Since I'm not doing anything wrong, I don't feel at all guilty about it. Given how different our relationship appears when compared to many others, I suspect I haven't help you at all.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  While I'm technically on sabbatical from tuscl, I got bored and was lurking this afternoon. And as some of you know, I can't resist a thread about cheating on your wife with strippers. I went to strip clubs for almost 20 years of my marriage. I started because the wife slowly lost interest in sex and nothing I did (and I tried a lot) changed her lack of interest. So I started slow but my clubbing grew as her sexual frigidity grew. I started out slowly at first. Nothing but lap dances, then eventually LDKs during those dances. Sure I felt guilt sometimes but each time I decided to stop she'd refuse sex (this happened a lot) and I'd end up with strippers again. I tried hard to work things out with her, but I couldn't live with the pathetic sex life that she would allow. Divorce wasn't an option because of our kids so I just found other women to meet my needs that she refused to meet. There was technically no sex going on with strippers so I wasn't really cheating. And even if I was cheating she refused repeatedly, so she shouldn't be surprised. Eventually strippers started offering me sex even though I didn't ask for it. And then one night in Miami the little head accepted one of those offers. I felt very guilty after my first stripper blowjob, and I vowed not to have sex with strippers again. Then I got home, sought sex, and got the usual refusal over and over. So I started having sex with strippers to keep from going insane from being so horny. Yes I was cheating on her, no denying it now, but basically I had no choice. I need sex and she wouldn't come remotely close to meeting that need. A little while later I had my first OTC date. It was a wonderful sexual GFE and I was immediately hooked. This wasn't with a dream stripper (those experiences came later) but this high mileage dancer did show me the best time sexually that I had ever experienced up to that point. Strangely OTC dating didn't make me feel any guilt. I think I was resigned by this point to the fact that my wife would never meet this need, and I would have to get it from other women. Then, I met the DS. On our first night I gave her two DATY orgasms, then I asked her if she would do the same for me. Despite this being a strictly no extras club where girls have been fired for doing less, she obliged me since I had been so good to her. The strip club gods were with us that night cause we didn't get caught. A couple of weeks later I get the wife to have sex. I give her a DATY orgasm. Then I ask if she would do the same for me (basically the exact same situation as with the DS). She refused, as she almost always did when I asked for a blowjob. That refusal was the straw that broke the camel's back. I never felt an ounce of guilt after that. Strippers treated me a 1000 times better than the wife did, and I spent a hell of a lot more money on the wife than I ever spent on strippers. So I lined up a reliable list of strippers, both for ITC and OTC sex, and I gave up on trying to ever have a satisfying sexual relationship with my wife. There wasn't an ounce of guilt. But I did use condoms every time for sex (again this was before going bareback with DS I and II) cause I didn't want to bring home any infections that she might catch in those few occasions that we actually did have sex. A couple years later, the last kid left for college and we split. Not much reason to stay together by that point. And my sex life now is better than ever, as my stories reflect. As for the OP's question, feelings of guilt are inevitable and unavoidable. Since each situation is different, I can't tell you how to handle those feelings. The above story though tells how I dealt with it. But you need to find a way to justify it and then live with it. And it would do no good to quit clubbing just because you feel guilty. You'd just end up back at strip clubs anyway and then feel more guilty than before. I tried stopping a few times because of guilt and went back to it every time. Just deal with it as best you can. I'm sure she has her own secrets as well. Everybody does.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  These days I use strip clubs strictly as a sexual release only. You have to remember, guys on this board use clubs for different things. Some go for eye candy, some go for conversation, some go to feel some boobs, a few go to suck on toes, while others are fucking the strippers. I am the latter of that group. Everything was fine, very minor guilt, until I developed a relationship with a stripper. Then another stripper, then a few others after that. The guilt took its toll, and it affected how I was treating my better half at home. At one point I sat down and re-evaluated my life and thought maybe I should just become single and fuck strippers the rest of my life. Eventually I came to my senses and realized that would probably not be a good idea since I weighed the pros and cons of being married and the pros far outweighed the cons (at least at this point in my life). I did some self-reflection and went back to just fucking strippers, nothing more, nothing less. On a rare occasion I will take a stripper out for drinks or dinner but that's it. No more falling in love. You shouldn't either, if you do you'll become fucking crazy, just look at John Smith as an example. Your wife does shit that makes her feel guilty too, like spending too much on handbags. Hopefully under your roof, your guilt for fucking strippers and her obsession with designer handbags evens out. For the record - I never tell my wife voluntarily that I go to strip clubs. That is a part of my life that I keep separate from everybody else, if you can get away with keeping it mum, I suggest you do the same. She knows I occasionally go with friends when we are on a guys trip but I would never tell her I go to clubs by myself. That would make her feel too uncomfortable. To the guys that have wives that are cool with that, totally understand. Some wives secretly fear that a younger and better version of themselves will steal away their husband, and hanging out in strip clubs will add to that fear for many women.
• shadowcat

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  8 years ago

  My strip clubbing did not cause my divorce. It was the result of it.
• JamesSD

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  8 years ago

  Strip clubs are my safety valve. My drive is way higher than you wife's. We've toyed with the idea for consensual non monogamy, but she's never fully agreed to it. When she fuck me I usually take a week or two off from the club. I used to have much more depression issues. Tried therapy, it helped somewhat, but not like having a gorgeous woman get me off does. At this point I compartmentalize the two. I feel more guilt about my civvy affairs, but that's more because one of them fell in love with me and I had to cut her off. She threatened to tell my wife. She never did, but it made me appreciate strippers more.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  “... And then one night in Miami …” Sounds like a good title for a movie – or at least a TUSCL article - LOL
• pensionking

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  8 years ago

  Only choice -- bury it down inside there and never bring it up again! [view link] see 0:22 seconds
• pensionking

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  8 years ago

  Seriously, I think I could have written JohnSmith's explanation (without the OTC DS -- i am not that lucky) as a summary of my own life right up until the part of his divorce. His summary makes perfect sense to me as a description how he slowly got involved and his involement escalated. "Strippers treated me a 1000 times better than the wife did, and I spent a hell of a lot more money on the wife than I ever spent on strippers. So I lined up a reliable list of strippers, both for ITC and OTC sex, and I gave up on trying to ever have a satisfying sexual relationship with my wife." Example: I spent over $2,000 on her last two birthdays -- romantic response from her -- nothing, going on 14 months now. Just No, No, No. I often wonder how it is going to end after my kids complete college. I cannot see her libido returning and I cannot see mine evaporating. When I wish to retire (and no longer have reasons to travel alone and/or be out of the house for hours at a time) -- how will I fill my base needs??
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  Yeah you definitely don't want to be crazy like me, fucking several gorgeous young college students every week, taking them on sex trips to exotic locations, and being treated sexually like their perfect boyfriend. It's awful, and I'm I'm fucking crazy for doing it!
• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  Marriage still exists as an ideal. Realizing that mine was doomed, along with the entire life I'd built along side it, has been devastating. And then with being here, and also responding to posts from ColdnShallow, I've moved to be even further against marriage. SJG Trashy Women [view link]
• Clackport

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  8 years ago

  I've been fortunate to get with some pretty good looking civilians, I question why I go to strip clubs. I guess the hip hop culture influenced me.
• Hardy29

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  8 years ago

  Unfortunately this comes with the territory. A girl grinding on you, even with no extras involved, is still cheating in the minds of a lot of women. It isn't so much the physical act as much as it is that at that moment, she is most likely more attractive to you than your wife.
• ilbbaicnl

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  8 years ago

  It's wrong but we have to keep it in perspective. The world runs on lies. If you want be as pure as the driven snow, you shouldn't get married in the first place. If you have a family, you never know what life has in store, and you better be ready to do some fucked up shit to take care of them if you have to. Sex workers save many a marriage, because they are entirely happy to let our wives keep our sorry old asses. You don't want to cross a line where your fun is taking too much time or money away from your family. If she finds out and wants a divorce, just stay calm about it even if she doesn't, and let her have her half.
• sharkhunter

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  8 years ago

  I see how my brothers marriages went with controlling wives who treat them like crap on several occasions and felt entitled to all of my brothers money. I feel no guilt and am glad I'm single. My brothers seem to be aging a whole lot faster than me I thought. My oldest brother looks like he is 30 years older than his age and my younger brother looks a few years older than me now.
• Corvus

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  8 years ago

  I found the guilt was less and less with every erection. The little head has a way of rationalizing what it must.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  "Yeah you definitely don't want to be crazy like me, fucking several gorgeous young college students every week, taking them on sex trips to exotic locations, and being treated sexually like their perfect boyfriend. It's awful, and I'm I'm fucking crazy for doing it!" DUDE! Have you ever gone back and read some of your obsessive stories about your DS1. You got way too caught up in all of that. You've actually talked about having a stripper fuck your son, that shit isn't normal.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  Dude. Do you have any idea what it is like to fuck your perfect 10 woman, who is just out of high school, who enthusiastically does absolutely everything you ask, who is an incredible sexual freak who you can consistently give multiple orgasms. Who does it all uncovered just as a perfect girlfriend would, and teaches you to smoke the miracle drug pot to further enhance the perfect sexual experiences with her. And the first time you fuck her, you are only the second man to ever be inside her. You have no clue whatsoever what any of that is like. And yes I have gone back and read my stories. They are all true, motivated by the most incredible sexual experiences imaginable with the perfect stripper. Keeping trying. With lots of time and money maybe you can come half way close to something kind of like what I describe. If you're lucky. And I asked about taking my son to a strip club, noting at the time that I was unlikely to do it but was just curious.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  ^^^ why yes, I have done all that, sans the miracle drug. She also made you an emotional roller coaster, which for most dudes is an unwanted side affect. If you think that's normal then that's fine, most dudes would not.
• bvino

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  8 years ago

  What is this "guilt" you speak of?
• MASCULINIST100

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  8 years ago

  Thanks to everyone for your comments. There was some good stuff to reflect on.
• shailynn

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  8 years ago

  bvino - "guilt" as in, "damnit I went to TGIFridays and ate too much greasy food going over my calorie count. To counteract that, instead of going to my hotel gym and working out, I'll just go to a strip club and work up a sweat fucking a stripper as my workout instead."
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  Fuck guilt. Man up and shake it off. Having one or several hotties on the side is a time honored tradition. Our urges don't go away when our wives are pregnant, lose interest in sex, become menopausal, etc., etc. Only poor dudes with limited income and/or opportunities are faithful 100% of the time. Where things go sideways is with those guys who let their penises control their emotions. In the old days, our fathers and grandfathers did not let side tail fuck up their heads and their homes. But in this brave new world of over-sensitive men, there are all too many messed up dudes who lose control of themselves just because they get their dicks wet with something younger and hotter than what they are accustomed to. Shit like this is how stable homes get broken up.
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  There are three main ways to avoid feeling guilty: - Be a sociopath/psychopath. - Don't do anything you'd feel guilty about. - Don't make promises you can't, or don't intend to, keep.
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  G, the fact that you have a wife who is ok with you putting your microdong in other holes doesn't make the act itself any more righteous. Most guys don't have that luxury, yet still have the same urges. I don't view myself as a sociopath (though who knows, right? ;) ), yet I don't harbor a lick of guilt over what I do.
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  It doesn't make the *act* righteous, but it does make it morally OK.
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  You hold no moral high ground just because you happen to have a wife who can accept you sticking your dick in strange holes and coming home smelling like other women. You're still fucking around just like every other married guy posting here. I'm sure you took the same vows and made the same commitments as every other married guy on here. But hey, cool beans if your hair splitting version of morality is what you need to sleep better at night, but spare us the smug commentary on the matter. If you really wanted the moral high ground, you would have spared her from every having to make a choice like that in the first place. Now she has to live with it thrown in her face all the time. So really she is the one paying the emotional price in order for your conscience to feel clean. Yup, you're a real hero GMD. ;)
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  Not a hero, and never claimed to be. But not an oath breaker, either. Because you see, based on what I've seen discussed, I did *not* make the same vows and commitments as every other married guy on here.
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  So your hanging your "holier than thou" hat on the notion that we agreed to be faithful but you didn't? That's a positive for wives where you come from? You really believe that rubbing your wife's face in it for years and even leaving her alone your overnight stripper adventures are really better than discreet side fucking? You truly believe that you've done your wife a greater service than those of us who allow our wives to retain their dignity by not forcing them to wallow in it over and over? Alrighty then dude. Sleep tight then with that clear conscience and all. ;)
• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  While it is not always going to happen, I believe it better if people can publicly live what they claim to believe. Though as of now I still do need to maintain walled off areas of my life, like this, it will not always be this way. Being no longer married is part of this, but not all of it. Soon I will be publicly standing for all I believe. SJG
• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  Remember also that it was Comrade Engels who showed us that Prostitution and Marriage are basically two sides of the same coin. [view link] SJG
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  I *am* faithful, Rick. I've kept every promise I've made. Not lying is a positive. Keeping promises is a positive. Not scuttling around in the shadows is a positive. Having a wife who is more concerned with my happiness than she is with the sex she doesn't want is a positive. Having the *reality* of an loving relationship, based on the truth, instead of a sham based on a lie is a positive. I suppose it's *possible* that she resents sleeping alone once in a while, but she hasn't said so. She's never been shy about letting me know when she's upset about anything else, so I can't imagine why this one would be different. I'm not sure how one defines living a lie to be dignified, but if that helps you sleep at night, OK.
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  If you are sticking your dick in other holes, then you are not being "faithful" in any classic sense. I guess the best way for some guys to sleep well at night is to never set the relationship expectation bar high to begin with. Then they can then delude themselves into believing that what they do isn't causing as much harm as those who actually have the decency not to rub it in their wives faces. :) Then, after faithfully spending overnights with hookers while my wife sleeps at home alone, I can go onto tuscl and tell the other married dogs just how unfaithful they are. ;)
• san_jose_guy

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  8 years ago

  "If you are sticking your dick in other holes, then you are not being "faithful" in any classic sense." I do agree. Though I will stop short of directing any accusations against this handful of TUSCL members who have gotten their wives' permission. I consider those to be special cases, each with its own idiosyncrasies. But on the whole I say it is better if people can stand up for what they believe in. I could have tried to further my own marriage, while at the same time being unfaithful. But I never did this. Instead I always made it clear to my spouse that the problems at home must be settled, as the situation cannot continue, and I will not allow it to continue. I drew a line in the sand, while at the same time being careful to at least do nothing which would escalate senseless conflict, or make me into a hypocrite. I had to keep my side of the sidewalk clean, because I would have to live with the outcome forever. So if monogamy or marriage are the problem, then I say we should figure out how to take a reasoned and responsible position against them. SJG
• ilbbaicnl

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  8 years ago

  To be honest GMD I think you oughta be bragging on what a great wife you have instead of on yourself about this. We'll never believe you wouldn't join the liars club as long as you haven't faced doing without if you don't.
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  What do you mean by "classic sense", Rick? I'll leave looking up the strict definition of the word "faithful" as an exercise for the reader, but it doesn't mention anything about sex or marriage. While adhering to a vow of sexual fidelity in a marriage is an *example* of being faithful, it is not the *definition* of the word. I think my marriage has been pretty good, and if my wife disagrees, she's never made mention of it. Given her personality, I'd have expected an objection when we started, rather than waiting for 30 years. As well, our marriage never was primarily about sex, and the lack of any idiotic promises concerning something that isn't a prime reason for the marriage hasn't hurt us. You seem to think our lack of such a promise is some kind of detriment, and that because I have sex with others, that I'm somehow disrespecting her. This is typical of someone who's accepted the brainwashing that sex is inherently bad, and that the only thing that makes it acceptable is the permission of the church and/or state. Sex is *not* bad, or evil, or immoral. Having sex with someone other than my wife isn't immoral, nor is it any more disrespectful towards her than is *her* preference to *not* have sex with me. So yes, I've been faithful. And if others have broken their promises, then they have, by definition, been unfaithful, correct? @ilbbaicnl: I've bragged on my wife a number of times on here.
• WetWilly

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  8 years ago

  What strikes me most about this thread is the very creative use of the word " faithful ". If we are going to use opposite definitions for all our words, it makes it very hard to communicate clearly.
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  @WetWilly: I agree completely.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  What a bunch, married guys bragging on sex with other women, criticizing other married guys for doing the same thing. Single young guys that cant get a girl without paying her for time, another guy thinks that its special to pay hookers for sex , a corporate guy that wants to brag about his "conquests" but overpays them ridiculous amounts of money. Entertainment like this you cant find anyplace else, man I hope Founder doesn't decide to raise the price of this site because this stuff is priceless.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  Am I the guy who thinks "it's special to pay hookers for sex" or the one who "overpays them ridiculous amounts of money." Sorry it's hard for me to keep the criticisms of me straight when it goes beyond the typical troll faggot attack.
• twentyfive

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  8 years ago

  If you think it's trolling fine just saying BTW you aren't the guy who thinks its special to pay hookers for sex. I thought you were a smart guy but you don't see the absurdity in this sorry but you have gotten very thin skinned lately maybe that's a side effect of too much weed smoking.
• JohnSmith69

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  8 years ago

  25, relax. I was joking.
• WILLYSGOTAWOMAN

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  4 years ago

  What happened to SJG?
• NAAAASTY

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  4 years ago

  ^^ bumped an old thread. Reading it explains a lot... NAAAASTY
• Beat100

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  4 years ago

  To the guys who used to go to stripclubs and then got married? How did that happened? Why would you leave the striclubs to become monogamous? It seems like it would be very hard to make the shift for guys who grew up on that lifestyle. I'm not saying you guys specificially but just in general. At least to me, I feel I'm beyond that point. In my case, I used to be huge on stripclubs, and brothels(abroad) then afterwards got my first "real" gf(I had a few crushes but never an actual gf then got involved in the whole "sex work" world. With my first gf I did feel guilty but only since we were in a "honeymoon" phase. Once we broke up, I got a second gf and now with this gf it was much more "no hold barens" she would do her thing and I would do my own thing but seeing SB's or going on dates..etc
• WILLYSGOTAWOMAN

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  4 years ago

  Is it better to leave your wife for another woman?
• Cashman1234

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  4 years ago

  It’s not an easy thing to stop - going to strip clubs - because you’ve met a woman who you think you can remain monogamous to. These old habits aren’t easy to break. I know that my clubbing cost me my marriage. I also know that I would do the same thing again - if I was presented with the opportunity. A few drinks, a hot firm ass in my face, and all I need is money! That shit isn’t even a difficult decision. I think SJG found out that using strippers for ejaculatory services is the best thing ever - right before the pandemic shut down the clubs in his area.
• Tetradon

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  4 years ago

  I'm a lone wolf, a lot of dating and few relationships. But I've never cheated on a girlfriend. Strip clubs (and especially extras) are part of the tradeoff. If I prefer a couple vodkas and a blowski in the back room over the relationship, then the relationship is past its sell-by date. Maybe that means I'll never marry or have kids, but I'm more comfortable with that than shit on the sly.
• Icee Loco (asshole)

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  4 years ago

  If you feel guilty about cheating don't do it