too generous?

31 comments

• jackslash

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  8 years ago

  I would have given her $50 too. But I've had enough experience with strippers to know it could have been a scam and that she'll use the money to buy drugs for her boyfriend.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  We have no idea whether you got played, or whether you did a good deed. But if she's been good regarding your fetish and helped you when you were depressed, it seems like $50 is a pretty small investment, very low-risk to see if it buys you any goodwill from her. And hell, if her story was true and you weren't being played, even if your $50 doesn't buy you anything, it's only $50, and you helped out a struggling mother, good on you man. In your shoes, the thing that would make me hesitate is the knowledge that, with strippers, there's no level they'll (or at least some of them) will stoop to, to try to get money out of you, so who knows what's true. And, again with SOME of them, that act of kindness could be viewed as a "rip me off" neon sign on your forehead. I had an ATF who was always in situations like your girl, and they were all genuine (no gas money, had to find a babysitter, etc), but then I'd look on her facebook and she'd been partying and blowing $ the past 3 days straight... she'd constantly make poor decisions that led her from crisis to crisis... then agian, if she didn't make poor decisions, maybe she wouldn't be stripping, wouldn't be dependent on OTC money from a guy twice her age, etc. Anyway, TL;DR: -- one $50 gift to a stripper who appeared to be in a mini-crisis and who has been good to you, do not even remotely question yourself, you done good. She comes around to you again with more crises, GTFO
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  Shit. I paid my ATF's $750 rent shortfall one month early last year. She's been trying to pay me back ever since, but so far I've managed to decline. :) Of course, she *did* visit for two weeks this past holiday, and we *did* spend a fair amount of time in bed, naked, so maybe she's put one over on me after all.
• neon44

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  8 years ago

  I've known her over a year and she did recently have a baby. Guess its no biggie. thanks
• shadowcat

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  8 years ago

  I've heard of girls getting fined for being late but never sent home for it. The club must have an abundance of dancers or you're getting SS but like the others have said, it's only $50.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  shadowcat: I've definitely heard of it, in either two cases: 1. Management is going through one of their occasional fits because too many girls have been too late, so they're going to start sending girls home for a few weeks, to get the girls to comply. This will work for a few months, then they'll need to do it again. 2. One particular girls is always late, so they tell her "okay, we should fire you, but instead, we're going to send you home any time you're late for the next 2 months". Anyway, I am projecting my own experiences onto neon's girl ... the former ATF I spoke of above was ALWAYS in this type of crisis, and the crisis was always genuine, but also always of her own making.
• Toomuchcover

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  8 years ago

  You could have helped her out quite a bit more. You could have offered OTC. She did have the day off and needed the money.
• Lone_Wolf

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  8 years ago

  I would have given her the 50 too but would have to add that giving cash like this rarely resulted in getting extra benefits from the honeys. I've gotten a lot better at saying "sorry, no" with no change in services rendered.
• pensionking

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  8 years ago

  Sounds like you missed an opportunity to be of service to her by offering her the cash she needed in exchange for an OTC session at the location of her choosing.
• warhawks

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  8 years ago

  In my experience, you can forget about the $50 for any kind of future break on price or services. Strippers have a short memory and tend to "forget" when you help them out or are generous. Just don't get your hopes up that she'll remember the money portion of it. Just be glad it was only $50.
• knight_errant

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  8 years ago

  Be the kind of person you want to be. She'll be the person who she is. You apparently aren't a person who is calculating every personal advantage you can leverage every time you put your hand in your pocket. Good for you.
• chessmaster

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  8 years ago

  Yeah she already had a baby sitter and was being sent home. If her story was legit you could have offered her more money for OTC, assuming you had sufficient funds.
• Subraman

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  8 years ago

  Agree with our white knight. Yes, you COULD have offered OTC ... nothing wrong with that. Also nothing wrong with just giving her the $50. You gotta be you. Just don't make it a habit. I once gave an even bigger non-quid-pro-quo gift to a stripper who I knew was in crisis, just because. Don't regret it a bit
• Bavarian

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  8 years ago

  Goodwill from a stripper? Haha, not a chance. It's all about them. I have been very generous with this particular stripper. She is very quick to dismiss me when she does not get her way.
• alabegonz

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  8 years ago

  My buddy who also gives me advice is generous too. But that's not my business. Yeah man, I've seen it happen too many times it's like an act taken out of the playbook. Thing though is that if you don't play it she will keep doing it or simply stop working with you.
• WetWilly

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  8 years ago

  If I'd known a dancer for that long, and had dances for a period that long, I'd definitely have given her $50.00 if I knew she was telling the truth. I sincerely doubt she'll give away any dances, or special treatment/extras, however.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  “... I would have given her the 50 too but would have to add that giving cash like this rarely resulted in getting extra benefits from the honeys ...” Sad but true that IME often times many dancers just get more emboldened when one starts giving them $$$ w/ no exchange of services (no skin in the game in her part); IME some/many go from asking for one genuine emergency; too asking for many if not all genuine emergencies; to making-up emergencies. As others have mentioned; one can't know for sure as to the genuineness of her request; so a one-time $50 donation is not a biggie since one can't know for sure. But then again, why is it our job/responsibility to take care of their emergencies; most of these chicks have an S.O. and if they have an S.O. it is their responsibility to take care of them and thus less reason for us PLs to try to be white-nights.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  Most clubs seem to charge a different house-fee depending on what time the dancer arrives; but then again some clubs may be very strict about scheduling. You can innocently ask other dancers about scheduling and arrival-times and see what they tell you.
• ididthisonce

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  8 years ago

  One of my top rules on dancers is they do their best to make you feel sorry for them. Childcare, moving, bills past due, eviction, etc. Sometimes I get suckered in. I would have given the $50 once but if she ever asks for money again, the first time was probably a scam.
• flagooner

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  8 years ago

  Nice of you, but now she knows you are an easy mark. Don't be surprised when she asks for another handout the next time you see her.
• georgmicrodong

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  8 years ago

  In case it wasn't clear from my sex induced haze influenced post, I don't think you were too generous, either. Once. If she does it again though, you might want to either get some collateral, or get some "collateral".
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  You should have banged-her in the parking-lot :)
• sharkhunter

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  8 years ago

  She's lucky you were not JS69. He would have invited her to a hotel to make some money. That is if she looked like DS5.
• JamesSD

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  8 years ago

  You should have asked for a BJ in your car for that. Or told her she owed you a couple lap dances but you were paying ahead of time, like a gift card. Anyways, $50 isn't exactly huge money, so I wouldn't stress it. Like others said, don't let her ask for more.
• rickdugan

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  8 years ago

  I would have countered with an OTC offer. If her story was legit and she was prepared to work, then she should have ample time on her hands. If she made up some BS excuse even though she is purportedly desperate, then the odds are good that she either (1) will never do OTC anyway, which makes investing in her pointless; or (2) that she is a con artiest, which also makes her a bad investment. But that's just me being me. ;) In any event, $50 is not a lot and it made you feel good to 'help" her, so there you go.
• TheFword

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  8 years ago

  I'm along with whats been said about the $50, just another reminder we see ATF they see ATM.
• topmandd

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  8 years ago

  Simple motto for this - if you can afford to just give it away - then don't make a second thought about it. It's my main direction for vegas - some throw all their money at a table, some throw it at shows, me I have ATF #1 - and i get some tits in my face and an acceptable grind for a few hours. Just enjoy it - but watch for a burn. There's always another one if you work for it - and i don't think it's bad to remind them of it from time to time.
• JohnBuford

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  8 years ago

  I say good on you my man. It sounds like you did a decent thing and in an ideal world good karma will follow. But sadly, my experience has been these girls live " hand to mouth " for so much of their lives that even if she would want to "reward" you in some way, she won't be able to. I hope I'm wrong.
• Estafador

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  8 years ago

  while yes it was a nice thing to do, and it's only $50 after all, your knowledge of how strippers minds work would make me suspicious. You couldn't instead simply give her a ride home. That's just as generous and its a way she has her return home done without her using your money in a lying manner. But hey, if she is lying, she can't score much rock from that.
• Papi_Chulo

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  8 years ago

  “... my experience has been these girls live " hand to mouth " for so much of their lives that even if she would want to "reward" you in some way, she won't be able to ...” I think this def applies to many dancers – that's why it's never enough in terms of the $$$ one gives them – sorta like throwing $$$ in a sack w/ a hole in the bottom.
• cantsleep

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  8 years ago

  "You couldn't instead simply give her a ride home." I can think of one good reason why she wouldn't want that. Stalkers. Would you want one knowing where your girl lives?