Question bout strip low key strip club scene and "flirting" with girl
So, i went to the club for the first time in months. It was pretty slow for a Thursday night. Chat up this girl for a good hour plus after her dance, early 30's, single mom. It was a good convo, a lot of random stuff came up, was going well, planned on getting dances/champagne room for sure, maybe even asking for digits. Go up for her next round on the pole, I was only guy up there, and then after she was done, didnt' talk to her again. She was completely focused on some older guy, late 50's i'd say, sitting on his lap, hardcore flirting, he had hands on her too, not a casual convo like ours. They never went back to dance, but he left, she said goodbye and then she went in back and didn't seek me out and i didn't even see her leave. She was just gone, and i was super confused. Did i just massively misread the signs? I couldn't even get her attention to get a dance! let alone anything more. She was right next to me with this guy, and never looked my way. I didn't say anything, thought she'd say something, but nada. Left not knowing how i f'ed that up. Like i didn't think i was wasting her time when it was slow and we chatted. I gave her at least 25 in singles through dances on pole, but like i said, after that second time, i was a ghost. Advice or tips for next time? Any comments are appreciated, negative or positive.
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17 comments
Older guys in their 50's and 60's are stripper magnets. You don't have a chance against them.
First, shes in business to make money. You stay with her for over an hour and did nothing but throw a few ones her way. I would have left you to. She can't feed her kids on what you intend to do. You need to start spending some cash on her quicker than that. Or at least make it clear that lots o cash will be coming her way. Money rules in a strip club and you weren't spending nearly enough of it. The guy was probably a regular who spends a lot on her even if not on this visit.
Second, you are far too emotional about this. Strippers are like the bus, there's always a new one that will come along every few minutes (sorry can't recall who first said that). Move on and find some new pussy to pursue.
And if this girl is a dream stripper cabdidate that you must have because you can never forget her, then you must spend real cash to get and keep her. The night I met DS I and DS II, I had spent a few hundred on them in the first hour, and I had assured them that many more Benjamin's were headed their way. They knew that I was their meal ticket for the night, if not much longer. That's the one and only way to keep a dancer from leaving you.
1. When a 50+ year old walks in most dancers assume he has the most money if anyone to spend, he's going to be the best guy to talk to, and he's probably divorced. 50 year old dudes are okay with just lap dances.
2. Guys under 40... Most strippers assume they want sex but don't want to pay the going rate for it, are married, broke, and pushy.
In your case, you spent an hour with her and she didn't make any money off of you. She may have assumed that you didn't want to buy dances from her if the issue never came up.
The older guy was a likely regular. He may have not spent money on her that night, but probably has on several other nights. He also may have given her money to sit with him and you may have not noticed the "transaction."
Thing is, dancers can be lazy, or maybe they made enough money that night and they're tired. I remember one time my ex-ATF was so tired she comped my a 1/2 hour VIP (I just paid the house) and after she did her thing, we slept on the couch until the bouncer had to shoo us out! So you never know.
Yes, some of the language you're using makes it seem as if you think there was "civilian" style chemistry, connection, flirting, attraction. You MASSIVELY mis-read that ... getting that simple thing right is the key to having fun in the strip clubs, and after many years, I still fuck it up sometimes :) Case in point, "maybe even asking for digits", what the fuck does that mean? She's a stripper, and you're using dating style terms ... of course she'll give you her number, so that you two can text and arrange for her to make more money off you, it's not some dramatic event that you have to work up to or even mention, just a part of business for the girls.
---> "Left not knowing how i f'ed that up."
Most common way to fuck things up with a stripper:
1. Give her the feeling you don't have money, or if you do, you're not going to spend it on her. Sounds like you sat with her for a long time, she absolutely delighted you, and you compensated her very little for her time.
In the end, you definitely have no idea what the older guy's deal was with her. Maybe he passed her $1000 and you didn't see it. Maybe he's a regular of hers, and he just popped in to say hi, and he just left to grab himself dinner and is coming back later tonight and spending $1000 on her. Maybe he just promised to pay her car payment. If she's got a whale on her hook, no way she's going to go back to the guy who tipped her a few singles for a whole hour, who may or may not be planning to spend anything on her, and appears to be very confused about whether she's just doing her job or is actually moving into real-life dating territory with her.
Oh, I missed that part! Nothing to be confused about, either he just gave her a wad of cash so she called it quits for the night, or she's going to his hotel room to fuck him. Either way, she made her nut.
"Older guys in their 50's and 60's are stripper magnets"
OP: Since you used words like "digits" and "convo", can I assume you're not on your 50's?
Case in point: there's a new dancer I'm VERY interested in. I met her for the first time last time I was in the club (2 weeks ago) and we did both CR and VIP, as well as long conversations in between. I made enough of an impression that she remembered she danced for me. I was tied up with my CF so I couldn't dance with her last night, but when the CF was in back I motioned her to come over. I told her I couldn't dance with her tonight but I'd be available to her my next visit and tipped her $20. So she made $20 for 60 seconds of her time which is something a dancer loves! Now when I come back, I know she'll seek me out right away. I didn't bore her with 'casual convo' with only $25 in singles at the stage over a couple hours for her efforts.
It's all business and about the $$$ for the dancers – when I starred SCing regularly in my early-30s (and I looked even younger than 30s) I often would get passed-up by the dancers in favor of the silver-foxes (particularly in upscale clubs where there were older guys w/ deep-pockets; or looked like it) – SCs being bizarro-world means often times dancers will prefer older guys b/c they often not only may have more $$$ but may be more willing to spend it b/c the perception/reality is that there is no other-way the older-guy can get a young hot chick to be with him where as the younger guy is perceived to have options and thus less-willing to part with his cash.
She invested and hour+ w/ you and you didn't make the move (she could have also told/asked you about getting some dances or VIP; but looks-like that's not her hustle-style); she then saw what she perceived as a better-target and went for that – good chance he may have been a regular and more often than not dancers will tend to their regulars so as not to bite the hand that feeds them.
IT'S BUSINESS – nothing personal – you pay you play (usually) – sorta like ebay; just b/c you are willing to buy if you don't make the best offer (or an offer) you won't get the merchandise.
They work you for what money they think they can get out of you, and then they move on.
Nothing to complain about, as this is what we go there for.
If you want to get her on your lap and get hands on with her, go for it.
If after she has moved on, you find that you've got more money to spend, you can get her back. No big deal. But still best just to do what you intend to from the first engagement with her.
If you don't have money to play there, then best not to go, as the experience when you don't have money will be negative.
The alternative then is civilians.
SJG