Mature Male... Think I Wanna Bang Some Strippers

avatar for shailynn
shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
Any advice?

Damn since all these girls are coming on here and asking for stripper advice - I might as well ask for advice on how to fuck strippers.

I already own a shiny suit like Ricky, I am prepared to drop the equivalent of a house payment on a stripper like JS69, I have witty charm like Motörhead, Gawker and Shadow, I DO NOT live with my mom like SJG, I am gullible enough like 4Got that's it's still cute and not annoying and I can give these bitches life and financial advice like Dougie, what else do I need to know?

18 comments

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avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
9 years ago
Make sure you know the in and outs of fried chicken and cucumbers
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
Oh don't worry, they know me by my first name at Church's Chicken up on 8 Mile in Detroit.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
You need to develop your own system to pay hookers for sex. Systems are non-transferable.
avatar for EarlTee
EarlTee
9 years ago
Female strippers? It makes a difference.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
9 years ago
You need to read RickyBoy's The System at least 50 times. Best to have it memorized word for word. Even then, just in case, have backup some flash cards that you can consult with in the washroom so you don't forget any of the subtleties.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
Hmmm how about the "normal system"

I have a pulse, my dick can still get hard, I take a shower and wash my dick before I go to the club, I brush and floss my teeth, I am polite (but not a pussy) to just about everyone in the club, I don't wear bullshit clothes, and I bring adequate funds. There, those seem like fail proof ways to get laid, and I can't even begin to tell you how many douches forget to do one or several of the above mentioned things before going to a club.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
"Female strippers? It makes a difference."

No, I'm talking about sheep strippers.... WTF you're not talking to LMN or Juice here...
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
9 years ago

If you want to Lap Dance Cum, wear baggy, loose fitting pants. And go commando if possible.


"Compliments of Captain Insano..." (Bonus points if you know what movie that quote is from).
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
^^ hell yeah I know that!!!

avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
9 years ago
If you have lots of cash, are in shape and young, the girls will want to know why are you trying to hook up in a strip club. Just think of a good excuse.
avatar for gawker
gawker
9 years ago
I've been working a young 23 year old stripper for about a month. So far I've enjoyed a HJ and DATY, but that far exceeded what she says she's done with others. Who knows? So far I've spent about $800 on her and am really just getting to know her. Getting her OTC is a challenge, but she's young, insecure, doesn't have a BF, and claims to really enjoy sex. Might be some SS, but she's a strong 9.5 in my book and has great potential IMHO. The pursuit can be a great deal of fun and she seems to be very enjoyable company. She writes poetry and is sharing some with me for me to critique. Who knows what will come of it, but I find this process to be more fun and a greater challenge than what I did with a dancer 2 weeks ago:
Hi, my name is Gawker. Want to go to CR? Sure! What happens there? What do you want to happen? BBFS., Wow, that'll cost you $400 for a 1/2 hour. I don't know, kinda steep. Take it or leave it. How about BBBJCIM? That'll be $300. How about $250? Ok I guess.
Now I'm not the final word on blow jobs, but it was serviceable and accomplished the job, but it was just 2 steps above sitting in front of my computer with a box of tissues. I want to have time for foreplay, whispering about wants and likes; caresses and strokes. I want time to make her cum while my tongue licks her clit and I feel her legs clench around my head. I want the whole enchilada, not just a hot dog with yellow mustard.
My point is that you can approach them either way. Some may slap your face if you're too blunt, so even if she's wearing a sign with flashing lights saying $5.00 a throw, take the time to assess the woman and where she's coming from.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Keep the systems comming. They are all great
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
Damn,

I love how half the responses know I'm fucking with ya and the other half take me seriously.

Gawker - nice story btw
avatar for misstaken.DD
misstaken.DD
9 years ago
have you tried to use the looking to" " help a girl find some stable income line?
avatar for PhantomGeek
PhantomGeek
9 years ago
"I am prepared to drop the equivalent of a house payment on a stripper like JS69"

JS69 is a stripper? And you're ready to drop the equivalent of a house payment on him?

Ew. But at least John can squirrel away some cash for those upcoming alimony payments.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
My payments to DS and DS II only amount to about 40% of a house payment. But it is a big house.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
9 years ago
"LIKE" js69

as in "I party like js69"

"I like to stop at mcdonalds after a night of strip clubbing like js69"

"I like to eat twinkies like Juice does"

"I like to bring buckets of chicken with me to the club lime Juice does"

"I seldom wear a shiny suit to the club like rickdougan does"

clear enough for you know? understand the context of my "like?" lol
avatar for PhantomGeek
PhantomGeek
9 years ago
Things are only as clear as I want them to be.

And you did say "a stripper like JS69." lol
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