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Can't Make This Stuff Up...

Yes this is real...


This is a transcript of an actual voicemail recieved by an actual Centerfold Strips Agent. (Centerfold's Commentary added in quotes) Please Drink Responsibly.


Ring, Ring.


Please leave your message for Centerfold Strips. BEEP (Our recording)


(Potential Client speaking)


HI. I guess I will leave you a message.


We are looking for, umm, midgets. Traditional. (What is a Traditional Midget?)


I'll be honest. I like midgets. Midgets we can talk to. (Most Little People can speak)


I like midgets. I'll be honest with you I like midgets. (We got it, you like them )


Situational. I am being honest with you. (We got it you are honest, not sure what exactly is situational)


I like midgets with bush. I like midgets with a lot of bush, who can talk. (Too much honesty)


So I guess call us back and I hope this is the answering service or what, but we're at the Trade Winds.


Bay Tree, Bay Tree. (Do you know where you are?)


So Umm yeah.


Do you have anyone who can juggle? We like jugglers. I am being honest with you. (Honesty is Good)


I like maybe double headed "XXXX". We like ...bush, a lot of bush. So hey, call us back. (Too much Honesty here)


We are at the tree winds. (Really?)
(Please do not attempt this at home)