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OT @the ex-mrs. mail order bride san_jose_guy

DoctorPhil

if you are reading this i would like to apologize for san_jose_guy. specifically i apologize for:

his incessant bed wetting
his bizarre Freudian mommy issues
his inability to achieve an erection and have sex with a grown woman
his obsession with AMPs where he can find women that look like they are 12 y/o
his dry cleaning bills for premature ejaculation when assaulting teenage girls
his refusal to share his weed
his complete lack of education
his refusal to get a job
his deeply ingrained racism
his overbearing misogyny
his bible-thumping devotion to his religion in order to please his mother
his lack of hygiene

and:

his overpowering gravy breath


yes there are many more but please, please accept mine and everyone on TUSCL’s apology on his behalf for him being a total failure and waste of carbon atoms.