Ever have your favorite dancer NOT regognize you?

What can be a bit of concern is a dancer appears whom you got no memory of but she says she remembers you. As she talks to you she knows details about you from years ago in another state. I had this happen to me recently and I still can't remember her. She even told me that I was in one of the pictures they took when they first opened a club up years ago. I didn't realize that even when I lived there. (This club I went to when they first opened put a ton of pics under the glass bar counter. Guess I'm there somewhere.)

Sometimes, if it's early in the evening and the beginning of the shift, she will brush off the regular as soon as new fish arrive.

...OK to ease Mousy's concerns, lets get the thread back on track. Mousy, does your favorite stripper that "dumped" you as her RIL and made you such a bitter person here, recognize you still?

WG has a way of fucking up threads.

Vflung, one thing I always got a kick out of was comparing the initial topic with how it turned out.

Man did this thread take an unintended turn down a dark alley and get mugged. WOW!

The original post was just supposed to be a humerous story. Oh well.

This was a heck of a thread there for a while. There have been times that I have crossed paths with a fav, when she might be on her way to the private dance area with another customer, and she'll walk by like I was invisible. (I think that maybe a wink and a nod would be
in order), but then, what Yoda says about 'tunnel vision' probably applies. The only other logical explanation is that we already had our private dances together and she figured she was done with me for the night. But even if that was true, I would never allow myself to believe it.

Wiseguy, WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE A THING POST HERE? For all we know, you are a wiseass adolescent fantasizing he has a stripper girlfriend. You have probably never had sex with a female, except mayber Rosey Palm. Furthermore, from all the evidence that YOU POST, it is MOUSEY that lives in your head, not vice-versa. In any event, Wiseguy, I wish you good luck with all your emotional problems. Finally, do not forget to read, understand, and live-by the Newbie Rules. You will notice the positive change in your life immediately.

V, i see you are threaten by my having a relationship with a dancer. Kind of blows your "rules theories" out of the water when i'm proof that they are merely your antiquated baiting insults schtik. And thanks for remembering that i live rent free in Mousy's head. Feel free to use any of my material in your new schtik.

Wiseguy, tell us what it is like living constantly with all that anger in your head. You cannot be very happy. It is abundantly clear that Mousy got into your head, although I doubt that is very hard to do. In any event, you need to read, learn, and liveby these rules more than anybody here, because you define NEWBIE. How old are you. I bet you are a teen boy. Here are the rules..

Message FOR NEWBIES (and, unfortunately, for some naive veterans as well) – that is, for those guys who are about to go to a strip club for the first time there are some things you need to know. Some on this Board will attack these rules, but they either make their living in strip clubs and/or are junky customers – that is, pathetic losers hopelessly addicted to strip clubs. Some men can’t create satisfying relationships with women without buying their female companionship – it’s disgusting, but true. Others will claim I’ve been “burned” by a stripper – NOT TRUE! All monies I have paid strippers have been for clear-cut R-rated services, clearly negotiated ahead of time – and not a penny more. I caught on to the stripper MO very early, but some of my friends didn’t – they were not so lucky. BUT, they became believers of the RULES FOR NEWBIES, after they got burned.

Ignore the detractors of the NEWBIE RULES, because they don’t have YOUR BEST INTERESTS in mind. Know, understand, and be guided by these rules and, while you’re in the strip club, you will be in control of your emotions and money at all times. With the NEWBIE RULES you will be OK!!

1st RULE) STRIPPERS ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN YOUR MONEY. With that single purpose some practice their trade with some sensitivity, but many (THE GREEDY ONES AND FOR WHO THESE RULES ARE ABOUT) couldn’t care less about your feelings. It’s very hard to tell the difference between the two types; since, many strippers are well-practiced con artists. To keep you buying more and more lap dances, many will feign or insinuate romantic interest in you. For this act, they use the glorified euphemistic term -- “fantasy.” They “believe” you actually want this “fantasy,” and they do it “TO OWN YOU” as a customer - that is, to get all your business and money. DON’T BELIEVE OR FALL FOR THE COME-HITHER BULLSHIT.

Lovesick, self-deluded men desperately want to believe this “fantasy,” but it is important that it is extremely rare (essentially unheard of) for strippers to have a significant romantic hook-up with any customer. Likewise, don’t try to hustle a stripper; because, more likely, you’ll be the one who gets hustled, when she gets into you head and starts asking you for help with the rent, to buy dresses, to get her a car stereo, cover car payments, etc. IF MONEY IS NEEDED TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK, THE RELATIONSHIP IS BULLSHIT – GET OUT ASAP. Don’t be naïve enough to think you’re going to be different, become a boyfriend, and/or get laid – you won’t – YOU’LL JUST BECOME ANOTHER ONE OF HER VICTIMS! YOU CANNOT BUY LOVE WITH MONEY OR COMPLIMENTS – don’t even try!!

Strippers deal with dozens of men everyday – they’re experts at the stripper game!! The bottom-line is that they are not interested in you as a friend or boyfriend – YOU’RE ONLY AN INCOME SOURCE. Don’t put strippers onto a pedestal. The more a customer worships and idealizes a stripper, the more the stripper will think he’s a FOOL and mock him behind his back. Indeed, THE CUSTOMER WHO FALLS FOR THIS CRAP IS LETTING HIS NEEDINESS, LUST (“ENGORGED DICK & ISCHEMIC DYSFUNCTIONAL BRAIN”), AND OVER-INFLATED EGO OVERPOWER HIS GOOD SENSE. Any customer who allows himself to become a CHUMP deserves to be fleeced! – especially, if the customer has read these rules.

2nd RULE) Don’t feel obligated to pay strippers anything, except maybe a dollar tip, after their stage strip. Strippers are hardly dancers in the true sense. Many in the industry will promote the idea that taking off one’s clothes in a dark bar filled with swollen prostates automatically qualifies one as an artist, or at least a sex worker, rather than a stripper or, heaven forbid, a R-RATED HOOKER. Obviously, taking off your clothes doesn’t make you an artist any more than taking a shit does. Sure, I realize that even a sanitation worker is capable of performing his job with some measure of grace and nobility -- but he’s still a trash man [whoops, sorry a “sanitation engineer”]. Likewise, you can pick your nose with a certain degree of style and finesse -- but you’re still picking your nose (at least wipe the little “treasures” on a handkerchief).

If you decide on buying lap dances, wait for the specific stripper you find attractive. Then, if she gives you satisfying and entertaining dances, continue; but otherwise, if things are not going well, stop ASAP. MAKE HER EARN HER PAY! – she’s working for you! You don’t have to tip. Except for the lap dances she performed for you, you owe her nothing. Know that she believes she owes you nothing beyond what you’re buying. Again, do not put strippers on a pedestal; IT IS HIGHLY LIKELY SHE ALREADY THINKS YOU’RE A SOMEWHAT VULGAR, LOW-LIFE NERDY GEEK ANYWAY -- OTHERWISE, WHY ARE YOU IN A STRIP CLUB BUYING COMPANIONSHIP? Also, keep close track of the number of lap dances, because SOME STRIPPERS WILL OVER CHARGE YOU. Keep control of your wallet at all times.

Women, who strip, have debased their natural talents and sell sexual favors for money, and meet the dictionary definition of prostitute. The proper customer attitude in dealing with them is to consider them as R-rated providers (prostitutes), wherein all interactions are determined by an exchange of money and, thus, negotiated for a price. Strippers have nothing else to offer customers – IN A STRIP CLUB EVERYTHING IS A SHORT-LIVED, SUPERFICIAL CROCK-OF-SHIT! It’s all about money, and it’s not going to be different for you.

3rd RULE) Don’t believe what strippers tell you, THEY ROUTINELY LIE, LIE, AND LIE; and then, turn around and LIE, LIE, AND LIE some more. (If you don’t believe this, see note below.) This is done for two main reasons. First, strippers are paranoid of stalkers and don’t want to reveal potentially exploitable details regarding where they live, go to school, etc. Second, OVER 90% HAVE BOYFRIENDS, HUSBANDS, AND/OR CHILDREN; and, if you find out they are not available, they believe it will spoil the so-called “fantasy” for you and decrease your interest in them and their profit. They are correct; many guys are turned-off by this. Thus, expect strippers to lie about their real name, where they live, where they go to school, their family/social lives, their future plans, and whether they are already romantically involved. Expect that they will not wear their wedding rings.

[Note: Quote from DDDancer (Colorado stripper)…"How do you refrain from calling a spade a spade? I don’t like the strong word LIE, but it is what we do. Our managers encourage us to. They coach us to have alternate identities to make us more interesting. Some of us are interesting anyway, so it’s a simple task, but other girls will make up going to collage, or being poets, hairstylists, peace corp. volunteers, etc., cause sitting at home all day until it’s time to work is not very interesting to a guy. They want a pretty picture of everything that surrounds you to build in their head."]

4th RULE) OFTEN, STRIPPERS ARE NOT NICE PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY IN REGARDS TO THEIR TREATMENT OF YOU – THE CUSTOMER! In their lives, as a customer, you will be placed in a special category of person. Just as prostitutes hate their “Johns,” strippers often resent and disdain their customers (yes, you’re a form of “John” too) -- who they don’t trust, don’t like, or find unattractive. Although they’ll never admit to it, MANY RESENT and DESPISE THEMSELVES FOR WHAT THEY MUST DO FOR YOU TO MAKE THEIR MONEY (e.g., expose their crotch in public, smell you ass, and rub your dick), AND THEY (NATURALLY) ASSOCIATE OR PROJECT THAT RESENTMENT and CONTEMPT ONTO YOU, THE CUSTOMER (if you don’t believe this, see NOTE #1 below). Some of the most mean-spirited, easily angered, vitriolic, and defensive people I’ve ever encountered have been strippers. DON’T EXPECT that they will look out for your feelings or best interests -- they won’t!

In fact, strippers often don’t like or trust other strippers. They are competitive and very catty with each other. STRIPPERS ROUTINELY BAD-MOUTH EACH OTHER. Many refuse to associate with other strippers; and, many will report that 80 to 90% of the other strippers have serious emotional and other “issues,” which strippers believe make them poor choices as romantic partners. Many strippers lead a certain “life style” characterized by abundant “partying,” which includes drug use and promiscuity with both sexes (bisexual activities are common among strippers)(see NOTE #2 below).

Moreover, it is interesting that many have inflated self images, consider themselves bona fide players (playettes), and very desirable beauties (yes, they consider themselves real girlfriend “catches”). BUT, YOU WILL FIND A BETTER CUT OF HUMANITY ALMOST ANYWHERE ELSE -- EVEN IN BARS! The vast majority of strippers are white trash with minimal job skills and even less character. Moreover, strippers are often self-centered, high maintenance people (some are bona fide or psychopaths). Go elsewhere to find your serious romantic interests. Indeed, stripping is a lazy, cope-out type of occupation – just as the dictionary points out -- another form of prostitution.

[Note #1: This is another very telling comment posted on the TUSCL Board by an anonymous stripper, and it reflects the negative attitude some strippers have toward customers. Here it is, "…but don't you know what people think of men who go to strip clubs? - PATHETIC and forever UNDESIRABLE! No woman has or will ever want you. Not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually, nothing - No one wants you. You have to pay for attention. You have to pay for conversation, and you have to pay to be touched or to touch. You have to pay for basic human experiences. You have to pay money, because nothing about you merits it besides money. A few, some, many, most (whichever way you want to look at it) strippers are using the money to better themselves and their families. They take something negative (you and your $$) and turn it into something useful and positive. What do you do with your strip club experience? NOTHING! Because that is all you are, all you have, all you will ever have – nothing. You all want us - you need us - us as people. Whether it is our bodies or our time, it is still us you want. We want money not you. Money is not part of you, it is something you have - it is a thing. No one wants you because of you."

Furthermore, here are the findings from a recent study, which can be accessed on the internet at Strip Clubs According to Strippers: Exposing Workplace Sexual Violence by Ó’Kelly Holsopple, 1998, (this can be accessed on the internet at http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/str… ….”The women in this study condemn the men associated with stripping and the impact stripping has on them as the worst parts of stripping. Women do not like the way customers treat them (Thompson and Harred 1992). Furthermore they say they do not like talking to customers, asking men for money, and resent having to have to deal with them at all. They find customers irritating because they are drunk and have negative attitudes towards women. Women characterize customers as scum, psycho mama’s boys, rapists and child molesters, old perverted men, idiots, assholes, and pigs. Strippers are largely disgusted by customers and describe them as pitiful and pathetic, stupid and ignorant, sick, controlling and abusive. "They smell so sour, they breathe very heavy and kind of wheeze when women are near." "They are weak abusers who have to subordinate women and girls to feel like a man." "I see my dad. They’re old enough to be my father." "Yuck. I am repulsed by the sight, sound, smell, and touch of them." "I’m embarrassed for them." The women offer insightful evaluations of strip club customers. They say that these men do not know how to communicate. Moreover, they perceive that customers are out of control, have power and abuse problems, and will do anything to degrade women because they hate women. Strippers also state that customers want a free show and think women are cheap. In contrast, a few women positively perceived some customers as nice and added they are thankful to those who tip well….Clearly strippers’ attitudes about men are impacted by the activities in strip clubs. Women say they don’t like men and men are worthless. Likewise women believe stripping inhibits their ability to be involved in a normal relationship. "It affects your lovelife and feelings about men." "Nice boyfriends can’t handle it." "Too large a percentage of men fit into category of customer and I do not want to hate men.")

[NOTE #2: Question posed to DDDancer by poster calling himself Mouse, “I want to be sure we're on the same wavelength with this last issue. By libertine I mean a person who is unrestrained by convention or morality. This is something beyond being politically liberal. Let me rephrase the question - do you believe exotic dancers are more likely than the average women to experiment (i.e., in many things, not just sex), because they are essentially less restrained by convention or morality (i.e., as it's defined by current polite society)?

DDDancer’s response, “OH! My answer is yes! -- they dared to get on the stage to begin with, and most would probably be more comfortable with experimenting with lifestyles. Morality conforms to fit the physiological needs of the bearer. You wouldn't believe how many girls I know with different perspectives of what the Bible means to them, but the one thing that is common is they twist the meaning to whatever suits them. Dancers are very spontaneous people, who desire the opposite, but while in the business, spontaneity is really the only way to conform to customers to get the money from them, so of course it would overlap into their normal life at times. I also think most dancers would make excellent entrepreneurs, but not so good in business, unless properly trained or educated.”

Posted comment by “Darling Nikki” (stripper in Southern California) on Monday, October 20, 2003: ”Every girl at Cheetahs was a dirty dancer, whether they wanted to be or not. You could not make money unless there was some touching in your dances and that was breaking the law. No one has the right to bash Alexandria for that or any other girl.

I do agree about the drug use – a lot of girls use drugs. Most of them use it while at work. I can’t think of one stripper that hasn’t used drugs. Oh Well, that’s the life -- you have to have some experiences and live a little.”

An anonymous poster responded (on Monday, October 20, 2003), “Thanks for the honesty!! Nikki, we admire your ability to tell the truth about the extensive drug use among strippers -- many, many (including the "super hotties" we're all reluctant to mention) have been high while we've been in buying dances. It was obvious. You can always tell when they’re on drugs, because something's not quite right in their eyes and behavior.”]

5th RULE) DON’T TELL STRIPPERS ANYTHING PERSONAL ABOUT YOURSELF. It’s none of their damn business, and they are likely to use personal information against you. Don’t bother giving them your business card, because they will throw it away or use it to hurt you later. Also, DON’T SHARE YOUR OPINIONS OF OTHER STRIPPERS WITH STRIPPERS, BECAUSE THEY WILL TELL THE OTHER STRIPPERS WHAT YOU SAID. Strippers talk, talk, and TALK, and then turn around and talk, talk, and TALK some more!

6th RULE) People will treat you the same way they treat themselves and those around them. Look at how strippers debase - R-rated prostitute - themselves for money (e.g., expose themselves, rub dicks, smell crotches, and lie routinely), and they will degrade you likewise! DON’T THINK YOU WILL BE SPECIAL -- YOU WON’T BE SPECIAL, JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THEIR VICTIMS!! To many strippers, customers are hardly considered human, but rather as pathetic mindless animals (VICTIMS OR MARKS) to be fleeced of their money. In fact, strippers like to refer to customers as regulars in love (RILs), pathetic losers (PLs), and/or automatic teller machines (ATMs). Don’t let them turn you into a RIL, PL, or ATM.

FOR GOD’S SAKE, MAN! -- MAINTAIN SOME PRIDE, DIGNITY, AND SELF-RESPECT!! Don’t become just another one of their victims.

7th RULE) Finally, don’t spend money on strippers; it’s a waste of your hard-earned resources. If you do, it’s equal to flushing your money down the toilet. Don’t become a strip-club junky!! Spend your money on yourself (or your family) for self-improvement and greater life enjoyment -- your money will pay MUCH greater dividends that way!! Everything you can buy in a strip club can be obtained ESSENTIALLY FREE OUTSIDE of strip clubs! – YES, EVERYTHING!! YOU CAN LIVE EXTREMELY WELL WITHOUT STRIPPERS AND PROSTITUTES IN YOUR LIFE! -- BELIEVE IT and DO IT!!

This is a business and "relationships" with dancers are rare and dangerous.
...rare? yes. There are not enough hours in a week for a girl to carry a "relationship" with 50 guys that may like her. Dangerous? for RIL's like Mousy that got their feelings and pocket book hurt, yes.

If you were a guy lucky enough to have a drop dead gorgeous dancer supporting you, what would you do to keep other guys away?
...supporting a boyfriend? not me, but there are some boyfriends that are being supported. Keeping guys away? the ones to worry about are the guys that run with her group of girlfriends not usually the customers. Insecure boyfriends will worry about keeping guys away.

If a dancer wants a regular supply of customers, what would she do to keep you coming back, begging and drooling?
...just being herself and doing a good job of creating the fantasy.

The guy--husband or boyfriend--just might blow your brains out.
...applies to non dancer boyfriends too.

The dancer will always hold out the possibility of something outside the club, but she really wants you to come to the club on a regular basis, buy lots of dances from her and stay out of her private life.
...true.

How many regulars does a dancer need to guarantee a base take of $1,000 per week?
...1 to 20 regs maybe.

Well said Superdude.

It's hard to believe that a young, attractive woman who gives you instant sensual pleasure is really not interested in you. But that is the case. This is a business and "relationships" with dancers are rare and dangerous. If you were a guy lucky enought to have a drop dead gorgeous dancer supporting you, what would you do to keep other guys away? If a dancer wants a regular supply of customers, what would she do to keep you coming back, begging and drooling? The guy--husband or boyfriend--just might blow your brains out. The dancer will always hold out the possibility of something outside the club, but she really wants you to come to the club on a regular basis, buy lots of dances from her and stay out of her private life. How many regulars does a dancer need to guarantee a base take of $1,000 per week?

OK

I have to add to all of this. Out of all the time I have spent going to strip clubs I have only gotten close to 2 girls. One of which works in the San Jose area. Just understand that if you ever are given a home number and not a cell number she really trust's you so dont blow it. We spend time on the outside often but she puts work first and she lets me know that she has bills like all of us. Getting this close to a dancer is very rare. Ive know this gal for 6 years. There is a lot of sister hood that go's on in these club's and a lot of competition. There is a lot of tragedy in the clubs too. If you get to close or to attached to a gal and its not going the way you want it will wreck your life. And maybe her's.

My experience is that the girls remember me if I show up within a few weeks of the first acquintance. By the way, one of the best tactics to get a girl to be relaxed with you is just to talk with her about ordinary things before you see her on stage.

Referring back to the topic, I always seem to have dancers recognize me. Some dancers whom I've forgotten always seem to show back up somewhere and a few even appear upset if I don't remember them. At least I can tell the difference between the dancers who recognize me and appear to know me a little versus new ones. The dancers who recognize me always offer lower dance prices. I noticed recently in one club that a guy sitting by himself when everyone else is in a group will have girl after girl come over and ask for a dance. I don't usually want that much attention so I often sit in the back and sometimes wear dark clothes so I'm not spotted as fast. Why? Hey some guys do like to just watch for awhile. What can be nice is if while in a regular sports bar, a dancer recognizes you and comes over and chats for awhile. It's kind of nice to be able to talk without feeling like people are watching you (ie. bouncers, security cameras, and others).

The funny thing is many strippers have told me that they have lots of trouble finding boyfriends. Most blame it on working too much, others say that men don't want them dancing once it starts to get serious.

UFCfan, just wait - time will answer your question. Let us know what happens. Strippers are human beings with human desires, like you. I've met strippers outside the club, but building a relationship is an uphill struggle - you must win their trust. Moreover, strippers are women who have no trouble findings boyfriends, hence the competition is fierce. Yet, if you are serious about building a real relationship with a stripper, refuse to pay her for her time outside the club and don't help with rent, car payments, etc. Keep the money out of the relationship, and you will know what she is really "serious" about. You can't buy love with money or compliments - she's got to like you for you!

UFCfan: My experiences on this topic have varied. The idea that she got your number in order to actually see you outside the club for a normal "date" would be extreamly rare. Anything is possible, it's just not very probable. As Yoda mentioned, the exchange of phone numbers or e-mail addresses is a fairly common way for dancers to help establish regulars and communicate with them.

UFCfan: Your question reminded me of an amusing story ....

When I visit SC's I try to wear a jacket whenever I can. There are several reasons for this but primarily it's for the extra pockets, which allow me to carry money, breath mints, cell phone, keys, etc. without weighing down my pants pockets.

Anyway, earlier this year I left my jacket at home, and I ended carrying my cell phone around the club in my hand. Eventually I carried it to the private dance booth when I went for some QT with my favorite dancer.

Well, as one tends to get pre-occupied during a private dance, I lost track of my cell phone. Actually I just forgot about it, and ended up leaving it behind. Luckily my favorite was the next to use the booth and she found the phone sitting where I left it. However, she did't know who it belonged to, so she brought it up to the DJ booth so he could make an annoucement.

While waiting for the DJ, she thought maybe the phone belonged to a dancer and that she might be able to figure out the owner by looking at the stored numbers. (Of course this is what she said to me later. I joked with her saying she was just being nosey.) Well now might be a good time to point out that her name begins with an "A". Guess who was the first name listed in the phone book ... that's right, hers! Let's just say whe was a little surprised to be looking at her own name and number.

Just then the DJ made the announcement and I remembered what had happened. Once she saw me begin to get up, she brought the phone right over, and we shared a laugh. Most of all she was relieved that it made some sense for her number to be stored in the phone. Although then I had to explain all the other numbers!!! : )

UFCfan: Many dancers use cel phone # as a means of keeping in touch with regular customers. I guarantee you that if you didn't show up at the club for a few weeks the dancer in question would call to "just say hello" and ask you if you will be coming in soon. I, btw, see nothing wrong with this. Cell phones and email are both great ways to keep in touch with regular customers.

Oh yeah, I guess it is important to mention that there was no discussion of any type of prostitution...I was simply expressing to her how amazing I thought she was, and how much I would love to eat her like a piece of cake. She seemed to like it.

Guys, please tell me what you think of this.My experience last week in a SC goes right along the lines of this discussion. The name of club and dancer I will not mention. I recieved several high mileage dances from this amazing dancer (not a sleaze club by the way...kind of upscale). By high mileage I mean excellent grind and hands on both ways...no "extras". Throughout the dances there was a lot of dirty talk and flirting. She seemed to be enjoying herself too and sharing a lot of my sentiments. I assumed of course that she was just humoring me and working hard for the money. Then after an amazing time, the closing lights came on (I certainly lost track of time). As we are getting up to leave, she proceeds to ask me if she can get my phone number! It has been a week and she has not called (which I didn't really expect that she would). My question for you guys is this...especially since I am still very green with SCs. Is this something that occurs often and is likely meaningless? Or should I be led to believe that she is atleast partially serious? I am planning on going back to the same club tomorrow night...not even sure if she will be working. What are your thoughts on this? I will appreciate your input on the matter.

Verfolgung, everybody posting here seems "set" in their opinions. Infact, I've never seen much "movement" by any poster. From what you just posted, we may be closer in opinion regarding SCs than you may think. Indeed, you seem to have things under control, and basically, that's what I'm advocating.

Mouse, I started to draft a post which was several paragraphs in length, but then thought the better of it. There's no need to get into a circular discussion, as I realize you are clearly set in your opinions. I would just like to say that following:

Are there dancers who look to take advantage of customers? - YES
Are there customers who look to take advantage of dancers? - YES
Is the primary motivation for SCs and dancers money? - YES
Is a SC a practical place for a man to meet a woman to start a realtionship with? - NO

That said, I disagree with you that one's SC experience needs to as cold and emtionless as you would have one to believe. Personally, I don't subscribe to the buffet style you would recommend, and believe even from a strictly transactional stand point, having "favorites" has several benefits.

I don't believe that ALL interations between customers and dancers have to be about money. Whenever people are involved there is always room for humanity.

Lastly, I would like to say that tipping is really a sign of appreciation given to a dancer. Technically, you can visit many no-cover SCs, walk in, see plenty of naked women and leave without spending a dime.

UCFan and Yoda, thanks for your replies. I undertand your points. Nonetheless, I was reading the last thread on this Board and came across one of "Customer's" old posts - a post, I believe is quite relevant to our discussion. It merits reposting and rereading, because I agree it. Maybe both of you will like it as well? Here it is.

"Many customers do have viable and stable relationships with women outside strip clubs. For these men, dancers offer some variety - A BIT OF SPICEY TABOO A TRANSGRESSIVE EXPERIENCE! - which is both safe and convenient (although expensive). Unfortunately, conflicts develop, when some customers grow attached, demand too much, get rejected, feel cheated, and become disappointed and bitter.

Dancers are limited in what they can offer customers. Dancers can’t be everything to everybody all the time. Customers should maintain a healthy attitude, have realistic expectations, and remain emotionally distant from these “objects of their desire.” Yet, sometimes this is “easier said than done." Keeping a healthy attitude and remaining emotionally distant from the dancers is fairly easy -- as long as you are not too amenable to their charms! Nonetheless, you may develop a "favorite" relationship, wherein maintaining immunity to her charms is essentially impossible. Ol' Mother Nature has a way of "kicking your arrogant ass" when she feels like it, and you may become a Regular In Love (RIL) whether you like it or not. My condolences go-out to the customer when this happens, because the odds are overwhelming that the dancer only wants his money, not his heart. In this event the customer must find the strength to walk away, and find a new favorite or a new club.

However, should you (a customer) become a Regular in Love, don’t expect to be coddled by the dancer. As you become “mushy” and more demanding, she will sense it (dancers are good at this, because it’s happened many times before) and become repelled by you. Why? It’s because your aggressive tone and demeanor are needy, intimidating, and even repugnant. Moreover, your condition places you into the category of potential stalker -- something she wants no part of! If you've fallen for a nice and ethical dancer with abundant interpersonal skills (e.g., Celeste), you’re lucky, because she will likely handle your feelings with compassion and let you down easy.

But, if the dancer is not a nice person, but instead a self-absorbed and heartless mercenary, you will get summarily dumped and/or fleeced of your money without any regard to your feelings! Conflict, hurt, and bitterness can result, when you realize you’ve been made a VICTIM. Thus, when this happens, you must be ready to take care of yourself. The best defense is – get informed and don’t let it happen in the first place! In strip clubs (from the get go) EXPECT NOTHING and ASK FOR NOTHING -- except what you negotiate for money and that’s never love or friendship!

It’s good practice to buy dances from many different dancers working at many different clubs. Never put too much emphasis on any one dancer. Finally (and this is the hardest part), if you begin liking one dancer too much, MOVE ON quickly. In ninety-nine percent (99%) of these cases, there's no romantic future with the dancer – SHE JUST WANTS YOUR MONEY AND ALREADY HAS A SIGNIFICANT OTHER – no matter what she has told you. If you can’t handle your emotions, don’t go to strip clubs -- find a new hobby. Strip clubs are not for the weak minded or faint hearted. Dancers are there to make money, not provide a dating service for lovelorn men."

Mouse...I'm not really sure why my behavior confuses you, especially if you go to SCs yourself. I know what you mean about meeting women in regular clubs for next to nothing...but that is exactly what I DON'T want. I don't want to have a real affair with another woman. I just want to blow off steam and walk out not having to worry about a woman putting me in a pinch with the wife. Know what I mean? Would I actually fuck one of these gorgeous dancers if I had the opportunity? 'Prolly could not resist...but it is not likely to ever happen. That is what seems safe about the SCs to me. I don't see myself getting into any real trouble...except maybe financial!

Mouse: I think we are on two different tracks here. My reference was tied into UFC fans reasons for going to strip clubs. I agree that any single guy looking for a woman is better off at any place BUT a strip club. UFCfan, like many married and attached men of all ages, has every right to blow of some steem in a strip club once in a while. I'm not here to make moral judgements on anyone's personal life. Over my 20 some odd years as a SC attendee I've been in various types of long term relationships. If married men stayed out of strip clubs they would all close down.

Yoda, I talking about meeting and seducing young women in the real world. Most young ladies, if they're not attached and they like you, will fuck you after only a few dates, often on the first date. Why go to a strip club for a dry hump, when you can get a wet hump for next to nothing?

UFCfan, I can understand your points, and with the right mind set, I believe it's possible to enjoy a strippers without getting emotionally involved with them. But, somehow it seems to me that a customer "dry humping" a gorgeous 10 stripper will change how he "views" his 5 or 6 wife. If his wife is already a 10, why whould he be paying for the same thing in a strip club? It doesn't make sense to me. Help me understand.

UFCfan: Your concern is legitimate-those cute little butts grinding on your lap can become addictive! Everyone has a different opinion on this but I've found, after years of exhaustive research, that you don't have to spend a ton of money in a club to have a good time. Avoid the high pressure dancers that are always trying to get you into the vip room. Lots of cute women dance for a living and, though they are obviously there to make money,not all are comfortable with the high-pressure approach. I find those dancers and direct my time and money towards them. It makes for a much better time when you visit.

The reason that I am intrigued by the clubs is simple...fun. Where else are you going to have a few beers and beautiful young women dry hump you, with no trouble or strings attached? It really is a nice arrangement. I know the dancers are just making money, and they know I am married...neither cares! The only danger that I see so far is spending too much money. It reminds me of gambling...could be very addictive. That is my only big concern.

Mouse: I'm not following you. Where do you go to see tons of young women get naked other than a strip club. If it's free I want the address!!

Yoday, I can see why older guys (i.e., over 45 y/o) go to strip clubs - they find their access to young women much reduced, maybe even nil. But, a 34 y/o "young" married man! - is there trouble with the marriage? There are TONS of young women available to young men! And, it's essentially FREE!

Strip clubs exist because men want variety. On a weekday afternoon the majority of men in any strip club are married. Some of the most beautiful women I know-including a few ex-dancers-have husbands or boyfriends that go to strip clubs. Each man's reasons for going to a club are his own and, just as I feel it's wrong to assume every dancer is trying to fleece you, I also feel it's wrong to assume that every SC customer is looking for a girlfriend.

of course, I also agree with Mouse in that very few strippers are concerned about the emotional well being of their customers. A dancer dances to make money, that's it. She's not there "looking" for anything else but many will take advantage of men who are. Guys who are emotionaly vulnerable most likely will find nothing but trouble in a strip club.

UFCfan, why would a 34 y/o married man go to a strip club? You must have a young wife - that is, relatively close in age to the strippers.

If you must go to strip clubs, please be careful; because, you may not be in as much control of your emotions as you may think. Maintain a clear grasp on reality and keep an emotional distance from those ladies. Some will look out for you, but others won't. The inveterate mercenaries (examples in every club) just want your money and couldn't care less about your emotional well being.

This is an interesting discussion. I am a "newbie" to strip clubs. At the age of 34, I just walked into a club for the first time about 8 months ago...so I am green. While I know it is obviously just about the money and the dancers are not interested in relationships, it is quite difficult not to get attached to a girl that gives you an awesome experience. I am married and would not want anything personal with these girls anyway, but being recognized and treated like a favorite customer would certainly boost my ego and open my wallet!

I watch these guys all the time throwing cash around thinking it will get them somewhere with a dancer-and somtimes it will-usualy it just gets them broke! As I've said, I have formed friendships with a few girls over the years but it's rare and in each case I either stopped visiting the dancer at work or we decided to keep in contact after she stopped dancing. Once money is removed from the equation it becomes a little easier to figure out where things are going.

Amen!

Good for you Yoda, you seem to be able to keep an emotional distance from the strippers. Keeping that perspective and maintaining control is important in a strip club. I quit worrying about certain strippers paying attention to me when I walk in long ago.

Mouse: To be honest, I don't see strippers when I walk into a stripclub, I see women trying to earn a living in a very difficult situation. There are good women and bad in every walk of life and in every occupation. The key is to understand how money is earned in a strip club, deal with the fact that some level of deception is almost always involved-like it or not- and to keep your wits about you. I've been fortunate enough to get to know a few women who quit dancing and went on to other jobs. The same attributes that made them successful dancers generaly make them succesful in any other chosen field. I know it's hard to think about things that way when you have a pair of 36dd's in your face but it all comes down to keeping perspective.

Yoda, what you say is so correct - that is, while in the club strippers are working girls. They are there to make money, and their REAL relationships are outside in their private lives. Too many guys try to seduce and befriend these women, and when they try so hard they end-up falling just as hard. Long ago, I quit going to strip clubs for friends or girl friends. I go to strip clubs with the same attitude and expectations as when I read and/or look-at a copy of Penthouse magazine - both are R-rated experiences, bought and paid for, and nothing else. Except it's 3D in the strip club, and you can talk to the ladies. Like the strippers, my REAL personal relationships are outside the club and in my private life.

This dialogue between Mouse and Yoda is mandatory reading for all newbies. There will be a quiz one year from now.

Mouse: Frankly I don't see how having a fav,an ATF or 10 of each means someone is looking for a relationship in a strip club. We are all posting from our experiences here and I think it's been obvious over the years that yours may be very different from mine or VG's. I know exactly what I'm looking for when I walk through the door to a strip club and I know all of the tricks that both dancers and CUSTOMERS use to get attention or to make money. If you don't beleive that two people can just sit and have a conversation without every second of it being about money than you simply don't fully understand human nature. Do you still even go to clubs? With all of the paranoia you are exhibiting here I don't see how you could possibly have any fun.

Strippers are constantly "walking the line" between keeping your interest in buying dances, while not turning you into a RIL and/or potential stalker. To prevent this, she may send you mixed messages - that is, "don't get too attached" (cold shoulder) but "I still want you as a customer" (friendly later). Your story is one method of how they do it. Another possibility is that you're dealing with a nefarious playette bitch, who likes playing with your "head." Some men, especially CEO types, are suckers for the "playing hard to get game" - they like the excitement of the chase. Don't underestimate how skilled these ladies are at the relationship game; men are amateurs in comparison.

Having FAVs is risky business not only for the customers, but also the strippers. My advice - DON'T GO INTO STRIP CLUBS LOOKING FOR A REAL RELATIONSHIP - you'll be disappointed 99.9% of the time. Don't take strip clubs seriously. The simple fact that you're even mildly concerned about your FAVs behavior towards you indicates that you are way too wrapped in her. Time to put some time and distance between the two of you, and the sooner the better.

MOUSE: Who said anything about painful? Alright, I agree with you that there are times when dancers purposely ignore you, but this was not one of them.

One of the reasons my favorite dancers like hanging out with me, is because they know I "get it." They know I'm not there to develop a relationship, but rather just to have a good time.

I will agree with you that most of the time dancers are aware who's in the club. There have been many times when I thought a place was relatively busy, and would ask a dancer sitting with me if she needed to get up only have her take one look around and tell me that there was no reason to. She would know who were regulars, for herself or other dancers, and could tell if there was anyone who might buy a dance. That was part of the reason why it I found it so amusing that it took so long for my favorite dancer to recognize me.

As a follow up to my story ... once she did recognize me, she immediately came over to sit down. It was a fairly quite day so she was able to sit with me for most of the afternoon. If she was really trying to give me the "cold shoulder" in order to teach a lesson, then I don't think that she would have spent the next several hours hanging out with me.

Maybe, it has something to do with MONEY

Mouse: If a customer has exhibited some sort of RIL type behavior I could see your point. I also beleive strongly that if a dancer knows you will wait for her she will sometimes place you low on her priority list when the club is busy. I also agree with your point about relationships but that doesn't mean a dancer and customer can't honestly enjoy their time together when in the club.

In my experience dancers know every customer in the room, and almost immediately when they walk in. These girls are working and eye-balling everybody like hawks, especially customers they know are good for some income. I believe that, when dancers "don't see you," they are deliberately ignoring you - the subtext message is "I know I'm your FAV, I know you're getting too attached to me, and this cold shoulder stuff is how I'm letting you know not to get too attached." Guys, these girls are stripping to make money, not to make relationships - don't forget it or it'll get even more painfull!

Actualy, now that you mention it...yeah, last night (maybe in the same club...)Sometimes dancers develop a sort of tunel vision as they walk around the club looking for business. Last night, a fav of mine came over and sat down between me and another guy. Just as I was getting ready to say hello, she turned away and started talking to the guy two seats down. When he turned her down she got up to walk away and as she spun in the chair she saw me. It was pretty funny. She told me that she thought she had smelled a familiar cologne when she sat down but she had been watching that guy for a while and was focused on him (and his wallet) when she came over.

Sorry for the typo in the topic title.

And no doubt loving every minute of it, Wise Guy! Way to go...:-)

...Mousy, FYI, I'm a trophy stripper boyfriend...hehehe

Mouse: In the cases I refer to I am talking about a relationship-not just casual sex. The dancers I prefer -and have gotten to know - tend to be older and are not really interested in casual sex or being some stud's "trophy stripper girlfriend". Most of them won't date customers anymore-if they ever did. I'm sure none of them would have any trouble finding a one night stand if that was all they wanted...

Yoda, did those strippers, to whom you refer, have trouble finding the "RIGHT" boyfriend (i.e., long-term mate potential) or just "a boyfriend" - say, just for sex. In my experience, strippers (i.e., the 9s and 10s) have men doting and slobbering over them constantly - that is, no trouble finding male companionship, but possibly (like most yound women) struggling to find and keep "Mr. Right."