Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? A: After five years your job will still suck.
Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a wife up.
Q: What's the difference between your bonus and your dick? A: You don't have to beg your wife to blow your bonus.
Q: What is love A: The delusion that one woman is different than all the others
Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection? A: So your wife could know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? A. 45 pounds and dozens of blowjobs.
Q: How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher? A: When the old one expects you to "do your share"
Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant? A: Marry it
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? A: Made her chain too long.
Q: How is your wife like a condom? A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? A: She knows she’s given her last blow job.
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90% A: Wedding cake
Women – can't live with them – thank god for strippers