Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a wife up.
Q: What's the difference between your bonus and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg your wife to blow your bonus.
Q: What is love
A: The delusion that one woman is different than all the others
Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A: So your wife could know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A. 45 pounds and dozens of blowjobs.
Q: How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?
A: When the old one expects you to "do your share"
Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry it
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.
Q: How is your wife like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she’s given her last blow job.
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%
A: Wedding cake
Comments
last commentWomen – can't live with them – thank god for strippers
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You miss your wife, JS? You just need more practice at the gun range..... ;-)
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dawg, I'm taking my concealed carry test in two weeks so I'm getting lots o practice.
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How do you cure a girl of nymphomania?
Marry'r
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So far, I've missed my ex wife a lot.
With every shot so far.
I'm a horrible aim.
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I have a bumper sticker that says I miss my wife, but my aim is improving
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I have a t-shirt that says "I used to be fucking stupid but then we broke up". :)
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Sounds like JS just got taken to the cleaners by divorce attorney. Good list of jokes....
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Joe and scat, if you ever want to know what to get me for Christmas, is live one of those shirts.
Minnow, my lawyer was far better ( and more expensive) than hers. I came out of it pretty good considering where it could've gone. But still pisses me off that I have to pay her as much as I pay the DS each month.
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"is live" = "I'd love."
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