Stripper Lies
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
Reading JohnSmith69's "Truth or Stripper Shit" post, I had an opinion but I had no way of determining whether his DS was telling the truth. But it reminded me of things strippers have told me that I later discovered were false. Here are some stripper lies. Please add your own.
1. I don't have a boyfriend.
2. I love you.
3. I don't do dirty things in VIP like some dancers.
4. I drove to Ionia on Saturday to visit my brother in prison. (It was her boyfriend who was in prison in the Ionia Correctional Facility, Ionia, MI)
5. I don't have any kids. (She had a son and a Caesarean scar, although it was very faint.)
6. I'm 25. (She was really 30. But I don't mind if dancers lie about their age. It's expected in the entertainment business.)
7. My real name is Jessica. (It was Amy. But I don't mind lies about real names either. Dancers need to protect their privacy.)
8. I've never done this before.
9. I'll pay you back next month.
10. My mother is dying of cancer.
11. I have a tumor.
12. Matt is always here because he's finishing my basement. (He was living with her.)
13. I don't do drugs.
14. My car is in the shop and I need $500 for repairs.
15. I'll pay you back next week.
16. I can't come to your house today because I have a sore throat.
17. I didn't call you because I lost my phone.
18. My Facebook says I'm in a relationship with John, but I'm really not. He's gay.
19. I've only had sex with 3 guys in my whole life.
20. I'll pay you back as soon as I get my purse out of my locker.
1. I don't have a boyfriend.
2. I love you.
3. I don't do dirty things in VIP like some dancers.
4. I drove to Ionia on Saturday to visit my brother in prison. (It was her boyfriend who was in prison in the Ionia Correctional Facility, Ionia, MI)
5. I don't have any kids. (She had a son and a Caesarean scar, although it was very faint.)
6. I'm 25. (She was really 30. But I don't mind if dancers lie about their age. It's expected in the entertainment business.)
7. My real name is Jessica. (It was Amy. But I don't mind lies about real names either. Dancers need to protect their privacy.)
8. I've never done this before.
9. I'll pay you back next month.
10. My mother is dying of cancer.
11. I have a tumor.
12. Matt is always here because he's finishing my basement. (He was living with her.)
13. I don't do drugs.
14. My car is in the shop and I need $500 for repairs.
15. I'll pay you back next week.
16. I can't come to your house today because I have a sore throat.
17. I didn't call you because I lost my phone.
18. My Facebook says I'm in a relationship with John, but I'm really not. He's gay.
19. I've only had sex with 3 guys in my whole life.
20. I'll pay you back as soon as I get my purse out of my locker.
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24 comments
2. I'd love to meet your wife.
+ OMG – you look 15 years younger than your age
+ wow – do you work out – it looks like it
+ let's go to VIP so we can be naughty – we get to VIP and it's a standard lap-dance – Me; “I thought we were going to get naughty?” - Her - “Sorry baby but they have cameras in here” (even if you can't see them)
+ your penis size is perfect for me (meaning don't worry that it's small)
+ I only smoke/drink when I'm in the club
+ I think you're really smart
+ You are so interesting
2. I have never given a bj in VIP.
- I almost orgasmed
- I'm your only friend here. Don't trust any of the other girls.
Six packs are too hard; I love your comfy beer-belly
I've also had girls claim that they don't do the same things they do in the LD room for every guy that they do for me. There's probably a grain of truth there, they may only do such things for 50-75% of guys.
Papi. I laughed so hard at this one because it's so true. I have had many dancers tell me they love big, soft teddy bears and hate dancing with skinny guys because they are too hard and bony. lol
And whatever happened to alucard????
You're the only guy I do bareback.
I've stopped fucking all guys except you and my BF
I'll meet you at the hotel at 4:00 pm sharp
I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were.
That orgasm was real.
I'm divorced, and my ex is completely out of the picture.
I always get excited when I see you walk into the club (has never danced for me before)
The baby seat in my car is for my sister's kid.
There are exactly three strippers I would believe that from, only because we have some online communication.
My ATF uses one like that on me still, to this day.
Last time I talked to her, I told her I was working out. She said "Aw, don't get too fit, I still like my chunky monkey."
I totally believe this when they say it b/c 99% of the time when they are “thinking about you” they are really thinking about that package in your pants (i.e. your wallet)