So I've read other threads on buying girls drinks or the bartenders asking you to do so- any suggestions on declining the offer other than being an asshole. Don't get me wrong I don't mind buying 1 or 2 but it gets really annoying when others see this and want in too.
I'm not sure if it's true in all states but it may be illegal to solicit to buy alcohol. A stripper was recently charged for that in Florida and one of my Follies favorites told me that it is illegal here too. You might try that.
Since I don't drink I tell them that since I don't drink, I don't buy any.
When it comes to this I usually experience 2 types of scenarios.
1. Dancer just comes up and blatantly asks to buy her a drink, 9 times out of 10 this dancer is rude, and usually ugly and I politely say "no thank you," and most times they leave me alone, sometimes in a huff. I've had some hound me before, like the type that you think are about to cause a scene and in that case I get up and say "excuse me" and walk away. I have never had anything give me a hard time after doing that.
2. Sitting at s table and a dancer asks to join me before asking for a drink. If I don't want her company I say "I do not prefer any company right now," or "I am waiting for someone." If I want her to sit down, then I isually don't mind buying her a drink.
I don't mind when a girl I'm sitting with asks for a drink. Sometimes I'll even offer first. If I feel like I'm being pushed to buy too many drinks I'll say I'd rather give my money to the girls than to the bar (the girls don't get a cut in any of the places I go to).
There was one bartender a while back who would repeatedly ask the customers if they'd "like to buy the pretty lady a drink." Eventually I asked her why she never asked the girls if they'd like to buy the handsome customer a drink? She stopped pushing drinks (at least to me) after that.
Taking an alternative view, the biggest problem here is in your head -- why is politely turning down drinks something that makes you feel so bad that you need to come to the internet to strategize how to do it? This is more something that you have to address looking inwards towards yourself. To me, this is an incredibly low-pressure situation, and I typically handle it the same way I'd handle it as if I were in just a regular neighborhood bar hanging out with my friends: "No thanks!" "I'm good right now, thanks", etc. It doesn't occur to me at all that I should feel awkward about that... But again, I think that awkward feeling is in your head.
Of course, unlike many here, I love buying the girls drink (getting drunk with my fave is my usual M.O.), but even so, if the waitress or bartender come by faster than I'm drinking, I turn them down until I'm ready for the next round. I also completely take control of what we're drinking when I'm with a new girl (by the time she's a fave, she'll know the deal), so I don't end up buying a $25 drink. I do this pretty simply, "I'm buying shots of Don Julio, you want one?". If she says no, I offer her a redbull, if she insists she wants a $25 fancy whatever, I turn her down and they always back down. That's it, easy peasy, as long as you don't overthink it or get guilted into thinking you're doing something wrong.
A few weeks ago. I turned a dancer down. I explained I was leaving soon and in fact she was my last dance. She could either have a drink or give me 2 dances. She took the dances. Which makes me wonder, is there some behind the counter deal going on with the $10.00 mixed drinks? I am wonder about this more and more now that I have read some of the post on stripperweb. One dancers was complaining about selling club product, and not getting a cut of the sell. In fact she was losing out on the deal. Hey, I know it is a hustle, but I would rather give to the person directly.
The short version is don't refuse the drink. It's hard to think of many situation where it makes sense to not buy the girl alcohol when she wants it, piss her off and then have to come up with enough of a tip to prove you aren't a cheap ass and worth her time. Think of the drink as coming from her tip money, and don't worry about it. You are likely saving money with buying drinks.
Best I think you need to know the rules of the club. Many times dancers are either having or being encouraged to buy or sell drinks. If they aren't selling enough drinks the owner / manager gets mad. Try and make sure the dancer isn't thinking about not hitting her drink quota (official or unofficial). Though it might be that number matters or dollar value matters or .... just ask the dancers who work there. If there is no rule then the dancer wants a drink and buy the drink.
If it is a dancer approaching you buy me a drink" may be a way of them talking to you but making sure you aren't a cheapskate. Just ask them if they really want the drink, to be tipped for time or both. Often they really want the alcohol. If you hate drinking or whatever then just tell them you are a teetotaler and then suggest an immediate lap dance instead. That way you pass the "not a waste of time" test. But you still have to offer something non-alcoholic.
Basically if you are doing this to be cheap. The girls will know you are doing this to be cheap. You will come off as cheap and that's going to hurt your fun.
At the club I go to, drinks are either $10 (dancers keep $4) or $5 (dancers keep $2). The girls aren't allowed to buy alcoholic drinks while they're on the clock, so if they want to drink they have to sell the "dancer drinks". So, there's usually a pretty good drink hustle going on there.
I used to buy everyone that would sit with me a drink, and tip them after they get off stage. Nowadays, I only buy $10 drinks for my ATF, and $5 drinks for about three others, and refuse everyone else. Nobody gets tips. When I started refusing dancers, I felt like an ass and I mentioned it to one of them once. She said "why would you feel like an ass? You've always been an asshole." After that, for some reason it got easier.
In my normal clubs, which don't have special dancer drinks and do serve alcohol, a girl that I like basically has an open tab. A tipsy stripper can be a lot of fun and some girls will be turned off if you refuse.
But I don't buy them for girls I am not interested in, ever. I just say sorry to her or shake my head no to the bartender, as needed.
In places with special dancer drink hustles, it is a whole different kettle of fish. In some clubs in places like FL and AL it can be a cost effective way of getting to know a girl, but in places like Baltimore and Boston it is an unadulterated ripoff technique. Net-net, I evaluate these on a case-by-case basis and act accordingly.
SCs are about taking as much of your $$$ as possible including in some clubs dancer-drinks that cost more than custy drinks and may not even have any alcohol.
They are not shy about taking as much of your $$$ as possible – it’s up to you if you are going to be “nice” and let them or spend *your* $$$ as is best for you and not the club or dancers.
I used to occasionally offer to buy them drinks. And pointedly refuse if someone suggested that buy them a drink
Then I realized about half the time they were ordering a drink and water/beer back to spit it into. Since that bullshit I pretty much gave up buying them drinks unless I really want to and they really seem to want one. If they pull said bullshit that's all they're getting.
I go to the SC to party with my favorites. In fact, if a dancer doesn't drink, I won't be spending much time with her. Here is the hard part...being a regular at a club means I've gotten to know many of the ladies working there. I find it difficult to order a drink and not offer to buy one for the lady sitting next to me.
Thankfully the club I go to often has $3 shot specials and the honeys I hang with seem happy drinking these. Just the cost of having fun at a SC.
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Since I don't drink I tell them that since I don't drink, I don't buy any.
If you're completely uniterestered in the girl, a firm "no, that's okay" should work.
It's trickier if you're into her, but "I'd rather spend that money on dances" can work.
1. Dancer just comes up and blatantly asks to buy her a drink, 9 times out of 10 this dancer is rude, and usually ugly and I politely say "no thank you," and most times they leave me alone, sometimes in a huff. I've had some hound me before, like the type that you think are about to cause a scene and in that case I get up and say "excuse me" and walk away. I have never had anything give me a hard time after doing that.
2. Sitting at s table and a dancer asks to join me before asking for a drink. If I don't want her company I say "I do not prefer any company right now," or "I am waiting for someone." If I want her to sit down, then I isually don't mind buying her a drink.
There was one bartender a while back who would repeatedly ask the customers if they'd "like to buy the pretty lady a drink." Eventually I asked her why she never asked the girls if they'd like to buy the handsome customer a drink? She stopped pushing drinks (at least to me) after that.
Of course, unlike many here, I love buying the girls drink (getting drunk with my fave is my usual M.O.), but even so, if the waitress or bartender come by faster than I'm drinking, I turn them down until I'm ready for the next round. I also completely take control of what we're drinking when I'm with a new girl (by the time she's a fave, she'll know the deal), so I don't end up buying a $25 drink. I do this pretty simply, "I'm buying shots of Don Julio, you want one?". If she says no, I offer her a redbull, if she insists she wants a $25 fancy whatever, I turn her down and they always back down. That's it, easy peasy, as long as you don't overthink it or get guilted into thinking you're doing something wrong.
Best I think you need to know the rules of the club. Many times dancers are either having or being encouraged to buy or sell drinks. If they aren't selling enough drinks the owner / manager gets mad. Try and make sure the dancer isn't thinking about not hitting her drink quota (official or unofficial). Though it might be that number matters or dollar value matters or .... just ask the dancers who work there. If there is no rule then the dancer wants a drink and buy the drink.
If it is a dancer approaching you buy me a drink" may be a way of them talking to you but making sure you aren't a cheapskate. Just ask them if they really want the drink, to be tipped for time or both. Often they really want the alcohol. If you hate drinking or whatever then just tell them you are a teetotaler and then suggest an immediate lap dance instead. That way you pass the "not a waste of time" test. But you still have to offer something non-alcoholic.
Basically if you are doing this to be cheap. The girls will know you are doing this to be cheap. You will come off as cheap and that's going to hurt your fun.
I used to buy everyone that would sit with me a drink, and tip them after they get off stage. Nowadays, I only buy $10 drinks for my ATF, and $5 drinks for about three others, and refuse everyone else. Nobody gets tips. When I started refusing dancers, I felt like an ass and I mentioned it to one of them once. She said "why would you feel like an ass? You've always been an asshole." After that, for some reason it got easier.
But I don't buy them for girls I am not interested in, ever. I just say sorry to her or shake my head no to the bartender, as needed.
In places with special dancer drink hustles, it is a whole different kettle of fish. In some clubs in places like FL and AL it can be a cost effective way of getting to know a girl, but in places like Baltimore and Boston it is an unadulterated ripoff technique. Net-net, I evaluate these on a case-by-case basis and act accordingly.
They are not shy about taking as much of your $$$ as possible – it’s up to you if you are going to be “nice” and let them or spend *your* $$$ as is best for you and not the club or dancers.
Then I realized about half the time they were ordering a drink and water/beer back to spit it into. Since that bullshit I pretty much gave up buying them drinks unless I really want to and they really seem to want one. If they pull said bullshit that's all they're getting.
Otherwise it's a firm "No".
I go to the SC to party with my favorites. In fact, if a dancer doesn't drink, I won't be spending much time with her. Here is the hard part...being a regular at a club means I've gotten to know many of the ladies working there. I find it difficult to order a drink and not offer to buy one for the lady sitting next to me.
Thankfully the club I go to often has $3 shot specials and the honeys I hang with seem happy drinking these. Just the cost of having fun at a SC.