50 Shades of Grey for Seniors.

After nearly 40 years of marriage, Ted was lying in bed one evening,
when his wife felt Ted begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite
some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began
moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down,
stopping just over her stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working
down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her
calf.

Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost
portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly
stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a
loving voice, “Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?”;

To which he responded,

“I found the remote.”