I was visiting stripperweb.com and it looked like they were selling a course on how strippers can earn more $$$ using the body language technique of Mirroring and Matching a.k.a. Neuro Linguistic Programming.
The only body language I use is fairly primitive. Crossed arms and legs when an unattractive dancer approaches and the keep eyes focused elsewhere. With attractive dancers I make eye contact, smile, and have a more open posture.
I just put my money on the stage or tuck it into the lady's thong...They always know my motives without a word yet said. American green is the universal language. A wink with a smile never hurts either...:-)
Hi Fondl,
Yes, that is a lot more than body language. I see it as a part of communicating more effectively. Clothing can also improve communication, but I draw the line there because I'm too into Cheap Comfortable Clothing with the exception of certain illusion/ambiguous design t-shirts. Also, I have talking a t-shirt and color changing t-shirts; children seem to love the talking t-shirt. Beautifully colored and designed graffitti (sp?) gangland type t-shirts would be very nice (I'd probably look wayyyyyy strange in it though). I'm a fan of some graffitti art and what would be really special is illusion & graffitti art integrated.
Anyway, body language like clothing can be a pain and might not be worth the effort.
Kyle, you're talking about a lot more than body language. I too try to find areas of common interest, not only with dancers but with anyone who interests me. And I also like to help dancers make the transition to jobs that they can do all their lives. I think the biggest risk that many of these girls run is that they get used to spending much more than they will be able to make later in life. Some of them will someday have a very rude awakening. I've helped one girl make the transition and she's now my closest friend. I'm hoping to do the same with another girl who I met recently.
Hi Fondl,
I never thought of the techniques as not being the real me.
It's more like an attempt to make communication easier. For example, when I'm with children I focus on things a normal child would be interested in and from there I try to build rapport. With adults I don't go that far, but I do try and find common areas of interest. A stripper I was buddy's with wanted to get a normal 9 to 5 job (making way less $$$) , but was afraid that her lack of formal education and criminal record would doom her to selling her body until she lost her beauty. Well, I had a real interest in trying to help her. My major real interest was just renting her hot body and skills. Now, just because I diverted away from that doesn't mean it wasn't the real me trying to help her find a normal job.
Even when I put on a happy face it is still the real me. I do it out of consideration to those who are not from the same tiny tribe as myself and might feel hurt or misunderstand a more raw communication. The older I get the more pragmatic I've become (I may not like it, but it is still the real me). It is difficult to believe I wasn't locked a long time ago when I was willing to fight, with brute force if necessary, for what was right. I can thank the police for that. :)
I agree that it's worth learning for business use, and I actually read quite a bit about it when I was working and used it consciously. But I'm not interested in using it in social settings, it's too much work. I prefer to be myself, then I will attract only those people who like the real me. Getting out the wallet seems to be all that's necessary in strip clubs.
Hi Fondl,
I did a quick search of the term "use" and it seems to indicate a conscious act. Someone might inadvertently send a negative signal by scratching their nose or looking away or staring too long, but I wouldn't categorize it as a "use" of body language.
I try and key on the reaction of the other person to see if I'm sending the right verbal and non-verbal messages. Sometimes the other person will seem almost on fire and it is like YES we are on the same page or she is an excellent fake. Either way I'm a happy camper. :)
Anyway, it is a skill that is worth learning for some people who might inadvertently be giving the wrong message.
To answer the original question, we all use body language, we just aren't usually aware of it. The only body language I consciously use in a clubs is to reach for my wallet when I see a girl that I like. It seems to work pretty well.
Hey Kyle I had a question for you? I was reading a review and noticed you had visted a few clubs in Dothan Alabama. I live about 30miles away from Dothan. Pop-A-Top and the Runway are not the clubs to vist. You would have came out better going to the Stardust lounge downtown Dothan right across from the civic center. The girls are not 10's but there are a few 8's in there plus the club just looks better inside. I know you like the black clubs and Pop A Top used to be a good club for high mileage 2 or 3years ago but it has went down in recent years. Stardust has a nice couch and sofa chair in the back where they give lapdances. If you choose the right girl it is worth the 20bucks. Let me know when you are going to be in my area again. Maybe we can meet up at the club.
Hi Jpac73,
The $20 price scared the hell out of me because I was already spending too much $$$ for everything. I'm fairly certain that is the reason I didn't visit that club. I like to buy a lot of dances and at $20 a song that seems like a quick way to go broker than I am. :) Also, I'm getting a lot of high two way contact dances for $5 here in Miami. The main complaint is the LOUD music. Can't hear the dancers and my ears ring for days afterward. (I was sometimes paying $10 for table dances at The Trap and the main lure was absence of the LOUD music.)
If I was heading back that way, then I'd definitely like to drop you a line because I think it is a lot nicer when you have somebody that is familar with the local landscape. Before that trip I hadn't visited my sisters in over 10 years (they visited me) and unfortunately I probably won't be back.
I always try to dress well and conservatively when I'm in a club - a Polo sirt and shorts in summer, a nice sweater and khakis in winter. Sometimes I'll even wear a sport coat. Dressing nicely sets you apart, just like being polite does. It's a fairly quick way to establish trust. It's a look that also seems to attract the college girls, which is what I'm looking for. I don't think I've ever been in a club in T-shirt and jeans, although I dress like that lots of other times.