Done with my ATF
footballguy
NC
I've seen quite a few posts on here about when you "break up" with your ATF. I knew going into it that it would eventually happen and sure enough, I think I'm done. I'm not really sad about it or anything, it's just kind of a weird feeling.
I had been seeing my ATF ITC very regularly for a couple month before I finally got FS from her and from that point on only saw her OTC for FS with GFE. I saw her very regularly for a couple months and then a little more spread out over the last few months.
When I first started seeing her OTC, it was great. Lots of cuddling before/after and a GFE with kissing, BBBJ, DATY, and even occasional BBFS. I know it was an act but she acted pretty enthusiastic and acted like she was really into it. And on the first couple visits after we fucked once she initiated a second round (which I wasn't expecting). After that it was pretty common for us to fuck twice on each visit. She's in her thirties and has a couple kids but as far as I know she was single. No pictures on her Facebook of a boyfriend and nothing else that would indicate she had one. We also did our visits at her place, nohing that I noticed there indicated she had a BF either, and I also knew her real name. If she had a BF I would think she would have been more careful about all of this.
There was one time we were having a conversation and she mentioned something about how her brothers best friend was hanging out with her at her place and eventually she eventually told him he couldn't come over anymore cause she didn't want to sleep with her brothers best friend (the guy was also about ten years younger than her). She didn't mention they had slept together but I wonder if they did a few times and she eventually realized she should stop so her brother didn't find out. Why else would he hang out at her house? A few weeks after that she mentioned how when she called her brother at his work (he's an mechanic) his friend answered the phone and called her baby and stuff like that. She said she thought it was weird he would talk like that and wondered if she should tell her brother but she didn't want to ruin her brothers friendship either. She said again that she would never sleep with her brothers best friend but I still wonder if they slept together a few times before she stopped it (or maybe they still were).
Eventually I had to start seeing her a little less regularly due to my work schedule but we still texted regularly and I still saw her at least once every three weeks but I think it was around this time things started to go downhill.
On one visit after we fucked I started initiating round two. She mentioned she wanted to run up to town hall before her kids got home from school. I said I think we had enough time so she said it was up to me so I said I'd be quick and I was.
On my next visit we fucked but didn't have time for a second session because she had a meeting scheduled with her apartment office.
On my next visit we had once and then we're watching tv (I was planning on going for round two before I left). She then got a text and said she had forgotten she was supposed to take her best friend to the dr that afternoon and she had to leave right away.
I think on my next visit we did fuck twice.
On my next visit I got there and she mentioned she didn't have a lot of time because she had just found out one of her best friends had tried to kill herself and was in the ICU at the ER and she wanted to go visit her. I told her if she wanted to cancel she could have told me and I would have understood but she said she had just found out right before I got there. So that day we only had time to fuck once and it's the only time I didn't get a BJ. Also during the past couple months the sex has all been covered (although the condom did break once).
At this point I was sensing the end was very near. I could tell she wasn't into it quite much and I felt like she started making up excuses to end our sessions early. The sex wasn't quite as good, it could have been cause she wasn't into it as much or maybe it was just that familiarity was starting to set in. I was getting frustrated cause even though I was giving her just as much as before, I was getting the same return as I did earlier.
I normally would text her when I would get home to let her know I made it home but I didn't this time. A couple days later she sent me a text and apologized for not "being with it" the other day and for not texting me. She said she felt rude that she didn't text me and she said her head just wasn't right cause of her friend being in the hospital.
A couple days later I noticed on Facebook that she was tagged in a post a guy made. The guy basically said he wanted to take a moment and thank this girl for being there for him and that he was the happiest he had been in a long time. He also said all the haters just bring hem closer together. He also posted a pic of her. This pic was the same pic that this girl had texted me a while back. The pic was probably a couple years old and wasn't anywhere else on her FB page, so I was pretty confident that she must have also texted it to him at some point.
In the comments a few of his friends asked who she was and he said she was a really good person he had met. He went on to say they would get a chance to meet her. I also mentioned that his ex wife (who he was still married to but sounds like they are separated and he wants a divorce) is already trying to break them.
I remembered that she had told me a few weeks prior that a friend of her was trying to quite doing drugs (something she had done a couple years ago and has been clean since then) and he asked her to be his sponsor. I put two and two together and realized that this must have been the same guy that made the above post. I still wasn't sure that they were sleeping together since there was no other mention of him on her Facebook page and all she commented on his post was that he knew she was there for him but it seemed pretty likely that they were sleeping together. The date of this post was about a week before my previous visit, so she still slept with me even if they were together.
I don't know why but this kind of irritated me. Even though I knew there was no way that I was the only guy she was sleeping with and she still slept with me even though she was with this other guy, it just bothered me I guess that she didn't tell me she had a boyfriend. That would also explain her behavior over the past couple months.
Well I decided that I'm pretty much done with her. Not because of this other guy but just because that it hasn't been as enjoyable lately and I can definitely get a better value with different dancers ITC, even if they don't kiss or allow a GFE.
I decided I wanted to see her one more time. I also wanted to see how she acted or if she mentioned she was seeing someone (not that it mattered, I just was curious). I also knew that if I didn't enjoy it as much I would feel validated about moving on and would feel like it was my decision to end it.
So I saw her one last time and I did get a BBBJ this time and covered FS. I was planning on trying for two rounds but after the first round I just really wasn't interested in fucking a second time. Neither of us had anywhere to be but I just found myself thinking that is rather go to the strip club after I left and going to see my new CF at the club instead of fucking her a second time. So a little while later I lef and went to the club.
I've talked to her a few time since then but she initiated two of the conversations. She Texted me the following Monday to say hi and then texted me on Easter Sunday to wish me a Jappt Easter.
I noticed to day on Facebook that that same guy posted a couple days ago that he is starting his new life and he is headed down south for about six months. He said hopefully everything works out how it's supposed to and he thanked his beautiful girl (and he tagged her) for everything and not doubting him and that he loves her with all his heart. Then he said remember that he will be bk (I think he meant back) for his girl and for God to help her and her kids be happy while he is gone. I'm the comments someone asked him where is is going and he said to get back on his feet and so he can provided for his (not sure what he meant by that). This girl didn't comment on his post and didn't like it ( she normally like everyone's posts).
So it's pretty obvious now that she's been seeing this guy and that could explain why everyone started going down hill. I never would expect her to not sleep with anyone while I definitely shouldn't be jealous, especially now that I don't plan on seeing her anymore. But it just kind of pisses me off that she wouldn't tell me she was seeing someone. I just don't get what a girl that's a 10 sees in a guy like him. He looks pretty trashy but I guess that's just what some women are attracted too.
it's just a weird feeling. I've slept with this girl a lot and I don't want a relationship with her (and there's no way I'm her type anyway) so I should have to problem with whatever she does in her personal life. I guess it's just cause she never told me directly and I feel like she was hiding it from me. If she would have just told me that she was seeing this guy I would have been fine with it. Now I just wonder if he knows she escorts (I'm not sure how many guys she does this with, I pay a good chunk so I might be the only one), if they are in an open relationship, or if he is ok with her escorting cause it pays the bills.
So this is what I'll take away from this: it was nice having an ATF and all that time spent with her made for some great experiences, but now i think it's better having 2-3 regular dancers at a club. It gives a little more variety and is much can more cost effective.
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Best of luck!
This is the musical send-off:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2P2p0T4…
On the other hand she saw you as merely a source of income and you got a little too emotionally attached. She's been contacting you because she could use the extra money, not because she wants to see you. Once that guy heads down south I imagine she will be contacting you more since she will be alone.
“History is due to repeat itself” – i.e. you are not the first guy that has gotten involved w/ a stripper and then find out it was not exactly as he thought (and you def won’t be the last).
The “bizarro” SC effect is quite interesting; for lack of a better word. In the “real world” men approach the women and often times is just about the sex for the men and the women are the ones that get emotionally involved and jealous. In “SC-bizarro-world” often times it is the PL that gets sex confused w/ love/romance/etc and often time it is the PL that gets emotionally involved/hung-up.
Often times one can get a better/more-accurate perspective by trying to place oneself in the other person’s shoes – i.e. the PL usually has a life outside the OTC session (even be married) so it should be expected and accepted for the dancer to also have a life outside the OTC session. More often than not; the dancer is treated as a rent-a-GF that the PL enjoys at his discretion. Most PLs are not willing nor want to get in a relationship w/ a dancer (i.e. be her S.O.); so one should accept that the dancer will hook up w/ someone else willing to be her S.O.
Stripper “relationships” are often smoke and mirrors and one needs to be aware of that from the get-go.
Thanks for sharing your experience and for your honesty.
Also, minor lesson, I'm on a number of strippers' facebooks, always flattering to be invited into their "real life", but if you're too involved emotionally, it can make you crazy, as it did to you above
I seem to have a really easy time forgetting about people. It kind of scares me when people pop up knowing all about me and I cannot remember them. Apparently I was getting girls in trouble when I was just a little kid running off with them. We weren't doing anything bad, not that I can remember.
Part of the reason it also got stale is because when I first started seeing her, she gave the best lap dances I had experienced. all the dancers allow full two way contact and most let you suck their tits but her dances were always just a little better. I always got HJ's from her in the VIP and eventually gingered her in VIP before I finally got FS from her. At first while she was the only dancer I had gotten FS from, I had gotten dances from lots of other dancers. A while after I got FS I eventually got FS from two other dancers ITC. I think that caused me to realized the ATF wasn't quite as good as I made her out to be.
Dont get me wrong, she is gorgeous but part of what drew her to me was how much can she let me do to her. Once I started getting it from two other dancers for a lot less money I realized it wasn't worth it even more, even if it's quick FS ITC with the other dancers. The ATF has a gorgeous face and her tits look incredible (firm natural 36C with dark aereolas) I got a little tired of them I guess. They are natural but very firm so they aren't as fun to squeeze as some of the other dancers :)
The fact is her quality of service declined and you may also have gotten bored. Move on, but don't burn the bridge. Maybe in six months you'll miss slamming that.
In Too Deep is an excellent Genesis song--if you haven't heard it--you-tube it NOW you guys!
But yeah, as others have said, it happens. And once you start seeing the same provider over and over again, it's even more likely to happen. Learn from it and move on.
Most people, when they get steady money, fall into a fantasy that they are entitled to it. So if she's got other shit going on or is tired or whatever, it's not her fault. Meanwhile, you're not a person to her with your own shit going on, you're there to pony up HER money. It may fix things, at least enough so it's still worth it to you, that you force her to realize that the money spigot can go on and off, it's not a steady flow. Let 4 or 5 weeks go by without seeing her. Wait for her to ask what the problem is, and tell her you miss back when she did A, B and C. It's a negotiation, you can't get away from that when you're paying for something. You have to be willing to walk away, if need be. But I suggest you try and get her worried that you'll walk away first. If that doesn't cause things to get back to how you want them, then walk away. And, as is always the case when you need a steady supply of anything, you're in a much better negotiating position with multiple suppliers.