tuscl

Done with my ATF

Tuesday, April 14, 2015 8:10 AM
I apologize in advance for the long post and any typos (did this on my phone). I've seen quite a few posts on here about when you "break up" with your ATF. I knew going into it that it would eventually happen and sure enough, I think I'm done. I'm not really sad about it or anything, it's just kind of a weird feeling. I had been seeing my ATF ITC very regularly for a couple month before I finally got FS from her and from that point on only saw her OTC for FS with GFE. I saw her very regularly for a couple months and then a little more spread out over the last few months. When I first started seeing her OTC, it was great. Lots of cuddling before/after and a GFE with kissing, BBBJ, DATY, and even occasional BBFS. I know it was an act but she acted pretty enthusiastic and acted like she was really into it. And on the first couple visits after we fucked once she initiated a second round (which I wasn't expecting). After that it was pretty common for us to fuck twice on each visit. She's in her thirties and has a couple kids but as far as I know she was single. No pictures on her Facebook of a boyfriend and nothing else that would indicate she had one. We also did our visits at her place, nohing that I noticed there indicated she had a BF either, and I also knew her real name. If she had a BF I would think she would have been more careful about all of this. There was one time we were having a conversation and she mentioned something about how her brothers best friend was hanging out with her at her place and eventually she eventually told him he couldn't come over anymore cause she didn't want to sleep with her brothers best friend (the guy was also about ten years younger than her). She didn't mention they had slept together but I wonder if they did a few times and she eventually realized she should stop so her brother didn't find out. Why else would he hang out at her house? A few weeks after that she mentioned how when she called her brother at his work (he's an mechanic) his friend answered the phone and called her baby and stuff like that. She said she thought it was weird he would talk like that and wondered if she should tell her brother but she didn't want to ruin her brothers friendship either. She said again that she would never sleep with her brothers best friend but I still wonder if they slept together a few times before she stopped it (or maybe they still were). Eventually I had to start seeing her a little less regularly due to my work schedule but we still texted regularly and I still saw her at least once every three weeks but I think it was around this time things started to go downhill. On one visit after we fucked I started initiating round two. She mentioned she wanted to run up to town hall before her kids got home from school. I said I think we had enough time so she said it was up to me so I said I'd be quick and I was. On my next visit we fucked but didn't have time for a second session because she had a meeting scheduled with her apartment office. On my next visit we had once and then we're watching tv (I was planning on going for round two before I left). She then got a text and said she had forgotten she was supposed to take her best friend to the dr that afternoon and she had to leave right away. I think on my next visit we did fuck twice. On my next visit I got there and she mentioned she didn't have a lot of time because she had just found out one of her best friends had tried to kill herself and was in the ICU at the ER and she wanted to go visit her. I told her if she wanted to cancel she could have told me and I would have understood but she said she had just found out right before I got there. So that day we only had time to fuck once and it's the only time I didn't get a BJ. Also during the past couple months the sex has all been covered (although the condom did break once). At this point I was sensing the end was very near. I could tell she wasn't into it quite much and I felt like she started making up excuses to end our sessions early. The sex wasn't quite as good, it could have been cause she wasn't into it as much or maybe it was just that familiarity was starting to set in. I was getting frustrated cause even though I was giving her just as much as before, I was getting the same return as I did earlier. I normally would text her when I would get home to let her know I made it home but I didn't this time. A couple days later she sent me a text and apologized for not "being with it" the other day and for not texting me. She said she felt rude that she didn't text me and she said her head just wasn't right cause of her friend being in the hospital. A couple days later I noticed on Facebook that she was tagged in a post a guy made. The guy basically said he wanted to take a moment and thank this girl for being there for him and that he was the happiest he had been in a long time. He also said all the haters just bring hem closer together. He also posted a pic of her. This pic was the same pic that this girl had texted me a while back. The pic was probably a couple years old and wasn't anywhere else on her FB page, so I was pretty confident that she must have also texted it to him at some point. In the comments a few of his friends asked who she was and he said she was a really good person he had met. He went on to say they would get a chance to meet her. I also mentioned that his ex wife (who he was still married to but sounds like they are separated and he wants a divorce) is already trying to break them. I remembered that she had told me a few weeks prior that a friend of her was trying to quite doing drugs (something she had done a couple years ago and has been clean since then) and he asked her to be his sponsor. I put two and two together and realized that this must have been the same guy that made the above post. I still wasn't sure that they were sleeping together since there was no other mention of him on her Facebook page and all she commented on his post was that he knew she was there for him but it seemed pretty likely that they were sleeping together. The date of this post was about a week before my previous visit, so she still slept with me even if they were together. I don't know why but this kind of irritated me. Even though I knew there was no way that I was the only guy she was sleeping with and she still slept with me even though she was with this other guy, it just bothered me I guess that she didn't tell me she had a boyfriend. That would also explain her behavior over the past couple months. Well I decided that I'm pretty much done with her. Not because of this other guy but just because that it hasn't been as enjoyable lately and I can definitely get a better value with different dancers ITC, even if they don't kiss or allow a GFE. I decided I wanted to see her one more time. I also wanted to see how she acted or if she mentioned she was seeing someone (not that it mattered, I just was curious). I also knew that if I didn't enjoy it as much I would feel validated about moving on and would feel like it was my decision to end it. So I saw her one last time and I did get a BBBJ this time and covered FS. I was planning on trying for two rounds but after the first round I just really wasn't interested in fucking a second time. Neither of us had anywhere to be but I just found myself thinking that is rather go to the strip club after I left and going to see my new CF at the club instead of fucking her a second time. So a little while later I lef and went to the club. I've talked to her a few time since then but she initiated two of the conversations. She Texted me the following Monday to say hi and then texted me on Easter Sunday to wish me a Jappt Easter. I noticed to day on Facebook that that same guy posted a couple days ago that he is starting his new life and he is headed down south for about six months. He said hopefully everything works out how it's supposed to and he thanked his beautiful girl (and he tagged her) for everything and not doubting him and that he loves her with all his heart. Then he said remember that he will be bk (I think he meant back) for his girl and for God to help her and her kids be happy while he is gone. I'm the comments someone asked him where is is going and he said to get back on his feet and so he can provided for his (not sure what he meant by that). This girl didn't comment on his post and didn't like it ( she normally like everyone's posts). So it's pretty obvious now that she's been seeing this guy and that could explain why everyone started going down hill. I never would expect her to not sleep with anyone while I definitely shouldn't be jealous, especially now that I don't plan on seeing her anymore. But it just kind of pisses me off that she wouldn't tell me she was seeing someone. I just don't get what a girl that's a 10 sees in a guy like him. He looks pretty trashy but I guess that's just what some women are attracted too. it's just a weird feeling. I've slept with this girl a lot and I don't want a relationship with her (and there's no way I'm her type anyway) so I should have to problem with whatever she does in her personal life. I guess it's just cause she never told me directly and I feel like she was hiding it from me. If she would have just told me that she was seeing this guy I would have been fine with it. Now I just wonder if he knows she escorts (I'm not sure how many guys she does this with, I pay a good chunk so I might be the only one), if they are in an open relationship, or if he is ok with her escorting cause it pays the bills. So this is what I'll take away from this: it was nice having an ATF and all that time spent with her made for some great experiences, but now i think it's better having 2-3 regular dancers at a club. It gives a little more variety and is much can more cost effective.

25 comments

  • Clubber
    •
    9 years ago
    All I can say it that when I ended it with my ATF, I've regretted it ever since. Still hear about her and see her at times, but not in any kind of way other then we have common friends. Best of luck!
  • jackslash
    •
    9 years ago
    Strippers sure know how to tell stories and lies. You have to decide when you've had enough and you're better off without her. This is the musical send-off: [view link]
  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    Better off without her. It will take time to get over her but there's too much ss (stripper shit) in her stories. On the other hand she saw you as merely a source of income and you got a little too emotionally attached. She's been contacting you because she could use the extra money, not because she wants to see you. Once that guy heads down south I imagine she will be contacting you more since she will be alone.
  • impala
    •
    9 years ago
    This sounds like to me the normal cycle of any relationship, you were both full of excitement and lust (which I think you may have mistaken for love), the relationship got into a rhythm and started to stagnate, and now it's time to move on. The biggest difference is that you got into a relationship with someone that wasn't looking for the same things your were, and not to sound cold (because believe me, most of us have been there), but when it comes down to it you were her customer and she was providing a service, and your NOT her only customer. My advice, not cut ties with her, but I think it may be better for you if you find another (or at least a second) "service provider".
  • carlos_spiceyweiner
    •
    9 years ago
    You're better off without her. Reading into this, there was obviously some emotional attachment to her (why else would you be exploring what happened to such a length here). That's never a good thing when it comes to strippers. Never. The lesson here is that it's a business arrangement made for your enjoyment. When it becomes anything else, it's time to move on.
  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    ^^^ or wife that bitch up, and I doubt you wanna do that!
  • shadowcat
    •
    9 years ago
    She never mentioned you to me. :)
  • impala
    •
    9 years ago
    Carlos, highly agree, but for some guys new to this it's hard for them to differentiate between love and lust. Best advice, don't only see one provider (stripper, escort, or the like), and always take breaks from the ones you do see so you don't get emotionally attached. Like I said before, most of us have been there once or twice in our lives.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    9 years ago
    As others have mentioned; you got emotionally involved and given the situation you were trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. “History is due to repeat itself” – i.e. you are not the first guy that has gotten involved w/ a stripper and then find out it was not exactly as he thought (and you def won’t be the last). The “bizarro” SC effect is quite interesting; for lack of a better word. In the “real world” men approach the women and often times is just about the sex for the men and the women are the ones that get emotionally involved and jealous. In “SC-bizarro-world” often times it is the PL that gets sex confused w/ love/romance/etc and often time it is the PL that gets emotionally involved/hung-up. Often times one can get a better/more-accurate perspective by trying to place oneself in the other person’s shoes – i.e. the PL usually has a life outside the OTC session (even be married) so it should be expected and accepted for the dancer to also have a life outside the OTC session. More often than not; the dancer is treated as a rent-a-GF that the PL enjoys at his discretion. Most PLs are not willing nor want to get in a relationship w/ a dancer (i.e. be her S.O.); so one should accept that the dancer will hook up w/ someone else willing to be her S.O. Stripper “relationships” are often smoke and mirrors and one needs to be aware of that from the get-go. Thanks for sharing your experience and for your honesty.
  • Subraman
    •
    9 years ago
    Right off the bat, without even reading the post -- if a stripper gets to you so much that you're inspired to write two full screenfuls about her, ON YOUR PHONE, you're definitely in too deep. And, after reading all that, I'm sure of it. I don't believe your statement at all that it was the lie that bothered you most -- you are clearly hurt about the facebook posts, you went so far as to do some minor detective work. You're in too deep, she's far more of a negative than a positive in your life, the absolute best thing you could do send her off and make sure this doesn't happen again. Also, minor lesson, I'm on a number of strippers' facebooks, always flattering to be invited into their "real life", but if you're too involved emotionally, it can make you crazy, as it did to you above
  • sharkhunter
    •
    9 years ago
    Best thing to do to forget about a favorite is to get another favorite or two or three. I seem to have a really easy time forgetting about people. It kind of scares me when people pop up knowing all about me and I cannot remember them. Apparently I was getting girls in trouble when I was just a little kid running off with them. We weren't doing anything bad, not that I can remember.
  • footballguy
    •
    9 years ago
    Thanks for all the tips, definitely won't make the same mistake again. Part of the reason it also got stale is because when I first started seeing her, she gave the best lap dances I had experienced. all the dancers allow full two way contact and most let you suck their tits but her dances were always just a little better. I always got HJ's from her in the VIP and eventually gingered her in VIP before I finally got FS from her. At first while she was the only dancer I had gotten FS from, I had gotten dances from lots of other dancers. A while after I got FS I eventually got FS from two other dancers ITC. I think that caused me to realized the ATF wasn't quite as good as I made her out to be. Dont get me wrong, she is gorgeous but part of what drew her to me was how much can she let me do to her. Once I started getting it from two other dancers for a lot less money I realized it wasn't worth it even more, even if it's quick FS ITC with the other dancers. The ATF has a gorgeous face and her tits look incredible (firm natural 36C with dark aereolas) I got a little tired of them I guess. They are natural but very firm so they aren't as fun to squeeze as some of the other dancers :)
  • Clackport
    •
    9 years ago
    You sure you don't want to be her boyfriend? It sure sounds like that.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    9 years ago
    As the saying goes – “you can’t buy love”
  • RTP
    •
    9 years ago
    I am amazed at the role Facebook plays in this whole story. All the facts, and questions why things were or were not posted. This is Facebook, not a court of law nor a biographical account.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    They're beautiful. They're fun. They're naked. They're young. They do everything thing sexual you could ever want. They fulfill our fantasies. But we can't get emotionally attached. It's all just business. We can't get jealous. It can be and often is a struggle, but we've got to be chill. She's not your girlfriend, even though she can often act exactly like your girlfriend should act. I understand. I struggle with it too.
  • JamesSD
    •
    9 years ago
    It's none of your business if she has a bf or not. I'm not sure why you care so much about her honesty there. The fact is her quality of service declined and you may also have gotten bored. Move on, but don't burn the bridge. Maybe in six months you'll miss slamming that.
  • gawker
    •
    9 years ago
    Like so many others here I've been there & gotten in far deeper than you. However I've always had another dancer "friend" on the side and made sure my ATF always knew about my #2 to keep a touch of jealousy in the picture. Now they both ended up in drug rehab (at the same facility). So off to the club where I met a relative newbie whose looks put the other two to shame. As I've been cultivating this new friend, I've been settling for HJ's and DATY ITC, but she just agreed to meet me OTC. Now we need to discuss price & menu options. I'm 90% sure that she's drug free as well - a major mistake I made with #'s 1 & 2. So, as others have said: get up off the ground, dust yourself off and jump on a new horse.
  • impala
    •
    9 years ago
    Papi, You can't buy love? You must be from out of town!
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    9 years ago
    ^ yeah - I don't live in Detroit
  • Eagle1191
    •
    9 years ago
    This sounds like a lot of drama and you forgot that your a paying customer nothing more.
  • GoVikings
    •
    9 years ago
    Subraman says "you're definitely in too deep" In Too Deep is an excellent Genesis song--if you haven't heard it--you-tube it NOW you guys! But yeah, as others have said, it happens. And once you start seeing the same provider over and over again, it's even more likely to happen. Learn from it and move on.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    9 years ago
    Unless you've decided your going to stick with either blue balls or chicks you can be with for free, it would be dumb to be "done" with her. Men don't typically have a lot of respect for women they are paying for sex, so it would be dumb for her to make herself vulnerable by talking about her personal life with her custies. Most people, when they get steady money, fall into a fantasy that they are entitled to it. So if she's got other shit going on or is tired or whatever, it's not her fault. Meanwhile, you're not a person to her with your own shit going on, you're there to pony up HER money. It may fix things, at least enough so it's still worth it to you, that you force her to realize that the money spigot can go on and off, it's not a steady flow. Let 4 or 5 weeks go by without seeing her. Wait for her to ask what the problem is, and tell her you miss back when she did A, B and C. It's a negotiation, you can't get away from that when you're paying for something. You have to be willing to walk away, if need be. But I suggest you try and get her worried that you'll walk away first. If that doesn't cause things to get back to how you want them, then walk away. And, as is always the case when you need a steady supply of anything, you're in a much better negotiating position with multiple suppliers.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    9 years ago
    I wondered why some dancers popped up on Facebook and clicked on their profiles because I was curious. Next thing I know I got this hot stripper looking at me funny and watching me in the strip club. She obviously noticed. She probably doesn't know why I popped up though. I think I dropped off the Facebook radar suggested friends list except another dancer who I do know. She must be checking out my friends because she's staying at the top of the list.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    9 years ago
    I'm glad I know Facebook tracks everything and puts you on a suggested friends list if you look at their profile. I know not to look at someone related to me who unfriended me. He looks like someone you don't want to meet. I blocked him after another relative threatened to block me. I didn't think he was that bad but you know relatives. You can't make everyone happy.
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