If the wife really loves you but too tired to play...shouldnt she just let you s

I think there are a couple big issues you're ignoring.

One is that people who fuck each other regularly often develop feelings. Sometimes those feelings are one sided; that's why FWB/Fuck-Buddy relationships are hard to sustain. So there's a perfectly rational worry that if the husband who is allowed to seek out strange elsewhere it might turn out to be more than just sex.

The other is a somewhat rational fear of sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies. Accidents do happen. If a woman's husband knocks up some random girl or picks up Herpes by not using a condom, it could make her life a lot more complicated quickly.

Of course, you do state one reason why some couples might choose to at least partially open up their marriage.

Fuck a lot of women.

No offense, man, but if you're posting that sort of question here, it sounds like you not only have doubts on the proposed scenario but you're also looking for some validation.

If you're looking for the wife's approval, I wouldn't expect an honest seal of approval either. I have yet to meet a woman who will give a direct and honest answer like most men; what I've seen have been more along the lines of "tests" and, no matter what you do, no matter what answer she gives you, you'll have lost.

You might also want to consider walking in her shoes in this situation: How would you feel if your wife said she needed to step out?

Im not ignoring the issues you bring up. There are alot more issues that go along with what I proposed but lets get through the question at hand first. Not the potential consequences. Counter point. No reg fuck buddies, get a vasectomy and use condoms. And if you fuck someone and develop "feelings" then maybe the marriage wasn't on solid footing to begin with. This is in regards to purely sexual urge and change of scenery. You know, "its a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live here"

Sex with the wife 1 or 2 times/week and its good????? Count your blessings! The discrepancy in interests will probably get worse once your wife is post-menopause.

On a more serious note, the question is legitimate--- when a couple have a supportive and committed relationship but they have very different needs for sex, what are the options? I'd like to think that the partner (the wife in this case) who is less interested in sex would be interested in the happiness of her partner (husband in this case). If she can't or won't meet his needs for sex, then she should give the green light for him to meet his needs through other means as long as it didn't have an adverse impact on the marriage (eroding the emotional commitment between the husband and wife or exposing the wife to an STD). After all, couples have different needs all the time and they aren't resentful when one of the people needs more sleep or needs more exercise or wants to go shopping more often than the other person in a couple-- why should differences in sexual needs be any different?

Sounds logical? Sounds good? Don't deceive yourself. I'd be very, very surprised if many people have navigated such an arrangement and maintained a successful marriage. This is the very reason that so many men (and some women) go to great lengths to conceal extramarital sexual relationships from their spouse. If you try to ask permission of your wife to pursue an extramarital affair or even to broach a discussion of the topic, let us know how the divorce is proceeding. If on the other hand you manage to negotiate such an arrangement without damaging your relationship with your wife-- please let the rest of the married men (and quite a few married women) in the world know your keys to success.

If you fuck her in the pussy it should be ok

Sounds like fictional person wants it all, who doesn't? When opening that door prepare for the reverse. Wife may take it as her seal of approval to fuck another man in your bed. If ok with that risk and risk of additional baggage ending the marriage...go for it. Eyes wide open. If marriage is stale, perhaps couples counseling or sex therapy are possible solutions as well.

99.9% of women won't agree with what you propose despite the logic behind it, or even if they do agree they won't stick to the agreement. So your question is irrelevant in a practical sense. Your options are to get divorced, jerk of to porn a lot, or go to striipoers or escorts without telling her. If you choose instead to talk to her about it and set forth your proposal, then you are choosing divorce.

Even jerking off to porn tends to be off the table. In essence, what you propose sounds good in theory, but there's the emotional impact of my husband doesn't find me attractive anymore and that's a huge thing that will derail the conversation you hope to have.

Lol good luck with that. Yeah it does sound like your looking for validation here. I say help her with some of the household shit and she might have more energy for you.

I can only speak from my own experience, but I don't think anything is going to make her more responsive sexually. It might stay the same for a while but over time things will go downhill further. You can beg, plead, and explain all you want to but there will be no fundamental changes.

Busy with kids, housework, etc is just an excuse. You could hire a maid and nanny to do most of that and she would develop new excuses. The only choices are divorce, porn, and strippers.

Johnsmith you forgot one choice. Soccermoms! Lol. You'd be surprised how many women are out there saying the same exact thing... These guys are saying "I wish my wife would have sex with me" and these women are saying "I wish my husband would have sex with me." We have strip clubs, they have porn, sex toys and the ability to have affairs.

She isn't too tired for sex. She is too tired for sex with YOU.

I put soccer moms in the category of choosing divorce. Something like that will become known. You need to choose escorts or strippers for anonymity.

Yes

I wouldn't worry about skibum's comment. He claims to be married to a unicorn who still gives dream stripper quality sex after decades of marriage. Even if such a woman exists, she's so rare that none of us will ever see one. For the rest of us, older married women generally suck at sex (suck in a very bad way that is).

JS69 is 100% right in everything he says in this thread. She'll never agree to let you stray. Never. I contend that any longtime wife that is often "too tired" or "too stressed" or "too whatever" is really "too over it!". In other words, the first xx years of "great sex" were an act to get to where she is today. When she figures you are out of options, the doors are closed.

Why buy the cow when she is giving away the milk? That is true when she is in her 20's.
After 25+ years of marriage, her attitude becomes "Why give away the milk anymore? -- he's already bought the cow!"

i wonder -- do divorced women suck a good dick??? Gawd, I'm in a cynical mood today . . .

sorry kids . . . uncle perv is wrong -- marriage is great! go for it and makes lots of babies!

Sorry I haven't responded to this discussion till now. I was too busy getting 50% of my "rations" for the week. I enjoyed reading the responses and found many of them amusing. JS69 as well as others have given great input. I understand to actually bring this topic up would be martial suicide and even though my discussion may lead others to think differently, I am nowhere near that stage. As some have pointed out , although it sounds logical at its core we as humans are too emotional , too influenced by outside forces (religion,for example) to truly see this logic. Anyways Skibum brings up an interesting point which is essentially that I (or husbands in general) are at fault. Now I can understand how Skibum may have concluded this, given the topic I proposed, his own personal martial situation that is portrayed here and his experience as a divorce attorney. Of course I, like many of my brothers here are guilty of being less then perfect . However, and this is a serious question, if I behaved differently which I suppose would mean to do whatever it takes to make my wife happy, I too can have threesomes and moresomes, have sex many times a week and go out to the SCs to do pretty much as I please without any grief from my wife?

Another thought , is it possible that I am just too good at sex that my wife is fully satisfied from the multiple orgasms during sex that she just doesn't have desire for the next several days? That could explain her being too tired for sex right?

After about 20 years of marriage I had an affair with a co-worker. It was heaven being between the legs of a former model, college cheerleader, and successful professional woman in her late 20's. My wife found out and we separated for 6 months. After marriage counseling we got together again, I dropped the GF and the marriage bed warmed up again. After 6 months things got cool again and my wife told me that if I needed to stray, just don't rub her nose in it. I haven't and we've now been married 46 years.

I think this only works if the wife is totally disinterested in sex, and thinks her husband has a strong attachment to her other than as a sex partner. Otherwise his "freedom" may mean she gets little or no sex from him and/or he stops seeing any value in staying married to her.

I don't know. Maybe.

Yeah right just throw more money at the wife and she'll all of the sudden finally become more sexual. All that approach will get a guy is bankruptcy.

This is a very hard topic to give an all purpose answer. Everyone changes throughout their lives and what once may have been a hard core sex drive could change because of hormones, lack of energy, bored with life, etc.... A lot of wives get bogged down with the whole family, house, work issues and sex gets pushed down the list. But husbands also forget that their wives want that fantasy where he is infatuated with her and constantly fawns over her and gives her attention and affection. I'm not talking about grabbing her ass and whipping your dick out either. Saying I love you, buying flowers, a wink, a kiss, walking past each other in the house and running your hand across her. You don't have to buy some massive bouquet of flowers either. Walmart has $5 flowers which are nice and mrs sea loves putting in the vase on the dining room table. It's not always WHAT it is it's the thought or the action that you actually did something to show your affection. Everyone wants to feel loved and needed and desired and when they no longer feel that they get complacent and distant.

All that being said though there are a lot of men and women out there who just aren't sexual like me and mrs sea and a lot of others. They get their job, house, marriage and kids and feel they've accomplished what they were required to do and then put their life on cruise control. 20 years later they wonder what happened and why their partner no longer desires them like they did when they were dating.

Asking your spouse for a "hall pass" so to speak is going to get you in trouble 999 times out of 1000.

Attention looks like our ColdnShallow has returned with a new handle she is now posting her judgmental crap under the new handle of Kitten 17

Or she could drink a Red bull and get the job done. It ain't that difficult.

^^^^^^ My Kind Of Girl. But I still would not want to be married to her.

Been there, done that.

:)

SJG

jealousy. You are hers to command. Anything you do that isn't in the contract is considered going AWOL and her heart will not allow it. Though her fucking the pool boy is perfectly acceptable. Women are strange creatures.

"Men complain that women are superficial and want money. "

Women need to be able to live in this world, just like men do. What it really is was that we destroyed the matrilineal system, and so now in it's place we have the marriage-prostitution system. This is how Comrade Engels explains it and I say he is right on.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Origin…

SJG