If the wife really loves you but too tired to play...shouldnt she just let you s
Probably the wrong place to put this. But I was thinking to-nite. If a guy is married, kids, job, the whole nine and pretty happy with it all or as happy as can be and the wife lays it out that while she enjoys sex and it may happen more then average(1-2 a week) shes just too tired/preoccupied with everything that goes with a marriage, kids, hubby and own part time job to match the sex drive of the guy, maybe she should let him get his fix elsewhere?Couldn't it solve alot of problems? If its allowed, then there's no cheating, no pressure to fufill hubbys sex wishes and hubby wouldnt feel any resentment or even sadness of rejection from wifey. Its not to replace martial sex (which is great when it happens) but just fill in the void.
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28 comments
One is that people who fuck each other regularly often develop feelings. Sometimes those feelings are one sided; that's why FWB/Fuck-Buddy relationships are hard to sustain. So there's a perfectly rational worry that if the husband who is allowed to seek out strange elsewhere it might turn out to be more than just sex.
The other is a somewhat rational fear of sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancies. Accidents do happen. If a woman's husband knocks up some random girl or picks up Herpes by not using a condom, it could make her life a lot more complicated quickly.
Of course, you do state one reason why some couples might choose to at least partially open up their marriage.
If you're looking for the wife's approval, I wouldn't expect an honest seal of approval either. I have yet to meet a woman who will give a direct and honest answer like most men; what I've seen have been more along the lines of "tests" and, no matter what you do, no matter what answer she gives you, you'll have lost.
You might also want to consider walking in her shoes in this situation: How would you feel if your wife said she needed to step out?
On a more serious note, the question is legitimate--- when a couple have a supportive and committed relationship but they have very different needs for sex, what are the options? I'd like to think that the partner (the wife in this case) who is less interested in sex would be interested in the happiness of her partner (husband in this case). If she can't or won't meet his needs for sex, then she should give the green light for him to meet his needs through other means as long as it didn't have an adverse impact on the marriage (eroding the emotional commitment between the husband and wife or exposing the wife to an STD). After all, couples have different needs all the time and they aren't resentful when one of the people needs more sleep or needs more exercise or wants to go shopping more often than the other person in a couple-- why should differences in sexual needs be any different?
Sounds logical? Sounds good? Don't deceive yourself. I'd be very, very surprised if many people have navigated such an arrangement and maintained a successful marriage. This is the very reason that so many men (and some women) go to great lengths to conceal extramarital sexual relationships from their spouse. If you try to ask permission of your wife to pursue an extramarital affair or even to broach a discussion of the topic, let us know how the divorce is proceeding. If on the other hand you manage to negotiate such an arrangement without damaging your relationship with your wife-- please let the rest of the married men (and quite a few married women) in the world know your keys to success.
Busy with kids, housework, etc is just an excuse. You could hire a maid and nanny to do most of that and she would develop new excuses. The only choices are divorce, porn, and strippers.
Why buy the cow when she is giving away the milk? That is true when she is in her 20's.
After 25+ years of marriage, her attitude becomes "Why give away the milk anymore? -- he's already bought the cow!"
i wonder -- do divorced women suck a good dick??? Gawd, I'm in a cynical mood today . . .
sorry kids . . . uncle perv is wrong -- marriage is great! go for it and makes lots of babies!
Another thought , is it possible that I am just too good at sex that my wife is fully satisfied from the multiple orgasms during sex that she just doesn't have desire for the next several days? That could explain her being too tired for sex right?
All that being said though there are a lot of men and women out there who just aren't sexual like me and mrs sea and a lot of others. They get their job, house, marriage and kids and feel they've accomplished what they were required to do and then put their life on cruise control. 20 years later they wonder what happened and why their partner no longer desires them like they did when they were dating.
Asking your spouse for a "hall pass" so to speak is going to get you in trouble 999 times out of 1000.
Been there, done that.
:)
SJG
Women need to be able to live in this world, just like men do. What it really is was that we destroyed the matrilineal system, and so now in it's place we have the marriage-prostitution system. This is how Comrade Engels explains it and I say he is right on.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Origin…
SJG