Advice for the clueless!

3/20/2015 12:23:32 PM

As an actual lion that recently acquired a laptop from a stupid fat American tourist on safari I have been learning how to use your human internet. I came across this site and discovered a debate among the clueless regarding a "system" to score strippers. I think my skills as a lion will transfer over quite nicely.

What I do when I see a herd of gazelle is I put on my best suit to put all of the gazelle at ease. If there is a bouncer associated with that particular herd of gazelle I am sure to grease him with a little money. I have plenty from all of the tourists on safari that I eat. This system allows me to identify the young female gazelles with drug problems and daddy issues. They are the best!

I think this should help you strip club hounds.

Comments

last comment

rickthelion

Straight outta tha NC, comin' atcha with an AK ready to steal your daughter. ROAR!!!

10 years ago

By the way, please come visit Ngorongoro crater and be sure to ask the guides to introduce you to Rick the Lion. Bring your laptop. With my massive paws and sharp claws I destroy laptops at a fearsome pace!

4got2wipe

In a brilliant place!

10 years ago

"...identify the young female gazelles with drug problems and daddy issues." Brilliant!

warhawks

Crazy Town USA

10 years ago

Divide and conquer.

The young and the old are the easiest. Leave the 27 to 35 year olds to the other PL's in the club.

Always make sure your white polyester suit and white shoes are clean and pressed. It distracts the young and with the disco ball lights bouncing off it, blinds the old strippers.

Always be sure to gorge yourself too. You never know when the next meal will come along. It might be weeks or months. So prowl with a purpose. lol. It's a jungle out there in stripper land.

shailynn

They never tell you what you need to know.

10 years ago

Wow, most of the strippers I see that are over 31 are using walkers and canes. I don't know if I can go much older than that. They usually want me to tip them a nickel so they can buy new batteries for their hearing aids.

mikeya02

10 years ago

This what the guys bashing Rick sound like.....lol

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Muf/wi…

Dougster

10 years ago

Fuckin' hiarious!

tumblingdice

South Carolina

10 years ago

Keep your lamps trimmed and burning.

crazyjoe

Colorado

10 years ago

Good one mikeya

Mr lionking. That is some heavy duty shit there

sharkhunter

10 years ago

Well I never heard dancers called gazelle before now. Sounds like someone wants to eat them. However I have heard of Rick and some kind of system. Is that where the lion waits for a straggler dancer with no one around and then picks her off? Or is it a system where the lonely straggler gazelle is pushed further away from the herd and then wined and dined to fatten her up for the feast in as little as two years? Of course lions tend to jump in and scare all the gazelle and then pick off whichever is too slow to get away. Is that the system?