Things a Stripper Really Doesn't Want to Hear

JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
Here's my own list of things a stripper doesn't want to hear during a VIP session.

1. Damn, my Depends just sprung a leak.

2. I promise to pay you next week.

3. My daughter has a pair of underwear just like that.

4. Will you marry me?

5. My friends and I read on tuscl that you charge $20 extra for a blowjob.

6. Your breasts remind me of my grandmother.

7. Let me tell you about a strange fetish of mine.

8. I knew I should've stopped in the bathroom before we came in here.

9. Let's pray.

10. Proverbs 23:27 says that prostitutes and immoral women are a deadly trap.

11. Do you think they'll ever find where I buried the body?

12. What happens if I pull on that white string?

13. I'm gonna spend everything that I made bagging groceries this week on you.

14. My motorhome is parked in the club parking lot. I'm going to meet you there after work.

15. I love you.

16. Can we do some Mexican bar table dancing.

17. How much do you weigh?

18. Is this your first day?

19. My wife has bigger breasts than you.

20. Mind if I use a penis pump?

19 comments

Latest

VeryBigDawg
10 years ago
21. I got a granddaughter your age.
whodey
10 years ago
22. I know you said I could pay you afterwards but I think I left my wallet at home. Can I just bring you the money next time?
Diva1975
10 years ago
I don't want to see you in a place like this I only want to see you outside of here
crazyjoe
10 years ago
34. Are those real?
shadowcat
10 years ago
Angel gives me better blow jobs and only charges me $50.
JamesSD
10 years ago
I dunno, 7. Depends on the fetish.

"Let's go to VIP where I can pay you to rub your beautiful feet" would be music to some strippers ears
PhantomGeek
10 years ago
My mother would really like you. Would you like to come over for Sunday dinner?

I have a dress just like that.

Would you teach me to grind like that?

I think I reached my credit limit.

Didn't you go to school with my little girl?

How about a threesome? Mom's getting pretty frisky.

Do you barter?

I'm trying to form an international alliance of sex workers. Interested?

Yeah, my twin brother's a cop. Why?
4got2wipe
10 years ago
"Do you barter?" Brilliant!

It would be even more brilliant if you show up with goat or pig or something else crazy to trade for a good lap dance!
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
"I don't have any money."
jackslash
10 years ago
"I'm HIV positive."
PhantomGeek
10 years ago
I have ebola.
oriole1
10 years ago
Do you swallow? Guess they don't mind this one because I always got an answer. Try it.
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
@oriole1: That's pretty much my standard question when I get to the point where I think she'll actuallyl do something. "Spit or swallow?

More often than not lately, I've been getting positive responses.

rattdog
10 years ago
"I have ebola."

I wonder what the percentage of girls knowing what ebola is. more or less than 50%?
Joe from NJ
10 years ago
Those don't look like real tits.

Is that the best you can do?

I have already cum, so I don't need you.
PhantomGeek
10 years ago
<while scratching at your crotch> Mom just put too much starch in my shorts again. Honest.
PhantomGeek
10 years ago
I'll have a cheeseburger and fries. Yeah, I am here just for the food.
shadowcat
10 years ago
In Canada they don't like to hear that you don't like doggy because in any other position you both can't watch the hockey game.
StripRez
10 years ago
Do you accept quarters?
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