If a stripper TELLS you she is your FRIEND, how do you know if she is TRUTHFUL?

Put her to the test as soon as she does this. Tell you think there is indeed, a chance that you could be friends and that you would like to spend more time with her to find out for sure. Tell that you do not pay your friends for their time and they do not pay you for yours. Hence if you are her customer you cannot also be her friend. Tell to then choose whether she wants you as a customer or as a friend. Then sit back and watch her squirm (or in rare instance agree with you...)

RL has no friends.

Come on, RL. Do some work yourself too. What do you consider a friend in your life?

Someone that cares about you. Do you hang out, catch a movie, go to a bar, help you move, or listen to you complain? If the answer are yes, you got a friend.