I am trying to figure out why this one dancer never asks me if I want a lapdance even though I have been getting one from her every time I see her at the club. I get to the club kind of early say about 8:30. April usually doesn't start dancing to about 9:15 or 9:30. I use to would wait till she came off stage to ask her for a dance but them alot of times I would miss out because some other person would have asked first. The thing that bothers me is by now since I have gotten dances from her on 3 or 4 trips lately to the club it seems that I shouldn't have to ask because by now she should know that I want want a lapdance from her, the other girl Ashley whom I use to get dances from at the same club now always asks me so why doesn't April? I don't know if it is because she feels she doesn't have to ask because she is one of the better looking girls there but I have seen her sitting at table with an older gentleman whom didn't tip her because he wasn't in the club while she was on stage performing. Should I sit back next time and see if she comes to me? and if she doesn't ask me for a dance should I leave her alone?
I must say, I'm entirely with davids on this one. I'm sure she knows who you are, figures are a sure thing, and persues other options. When strippers see an older guy in the club, they'll always make a run at him because they likely have money, is looking for a dance, and is little risk (won't expect extras, ask them out, etc).
I like Kyle's approach. Basically, talk to her and see what's up. You might want to try talking to her when you come in, and setting a 'date' 30 minutes later or whatever. If she never shows, then she doesn't value your business and it's time to say sianora.
I've been in clubs where the girls aren't allowed to ask a customer if they want a dance, the customer has to do the asking. I could never figure that out. Maybe some local law. I've also been in clubs where they don't push the private dances very much and you have to practically beg a girl to get one. And places where some of the girls do private dances and some of them don't. Some places are just weird.
Maybe it's just one of those clubs you have to ask the girl for a dance. I mean, they should ask you if you want one, but some clubs, in my experience, insist on you asking the girl, although I don't think they plan it that way.
Some girls will never ask you, they wait to be asked. It doesn't mean anything, it's just their style. Maybe she fears rejection. Maybe she's shy. Maybe she's too polite. Personally I wish they were all like that. Or maybe whenever you've been there a regular of hers has also been there at the same time. If he's a big spender, he's going to get priority. Don't take it personally, it isn't meant that way, she's just doing her job the best she knows how.
Why all the drama? If you think she's hot and she gives a good dance, ask her for a dance. If you are worried that she doesn't like you you are in the club for all the wrong reasons in the first place. Good luck.
I'm wondering how old the gentleman was. There are a small number of women who strongly prefer old men--not as boyfriends but as safe wise strong figures.
If she's quiet and non-assertive, then I wouldn't worry about her or try and change her too much.
Naw I don't show I like her no more than the rest of the guys in there. I think she is a little on the quiet side, although she will talk while I am getting a dance from her but she doesn't seem like the type that is real assertive. I don't know if she asks guys for dances or if she just goes over there and let them bring up the subject of dances. I met a girl at another club recently who mentioned she didn't like asking guys for dances and she appreciated the fact that I had asked her for one. Actually I was the first dance she had that day although I feel she wouldn't have a problem making money because she was fairly attractive.
Number One Rule (there are many of these): Do not assume the worst.
Just because she spent time with an older gentleman who didn't tip her means very little unless you have more information. Perhaps he has thrown $$$ at her in the past or has thrown $$$ at other dancers in the past.
Sometimes dancers will avoid customers who like them too much. Like one dancer told me there are lots of attractive dancers here so there is NO reason to focus on me. She was correct there were lot of attractive dancers, but often a dancer's idea of attractive is very generous to the other women. Once she understood that I just cared about getting dances from her she really let herself go and became a lot of fun! :)
Does she ask other customers for dances? If not, then don't expect her to ask for dances from you.
Some times the tough love approach works wonders i.e. Davids' advice. I prefer the more upfront approach. When it seems like the two of you are on the same level having a good time tell her that she is so much fun to be with that you'd appreciate it if she'd come over for dances in the future. Hopefully, she will eagerly agree to that--doesn't mean she will follow thru but it is a good start.
Thought of some more stuff: if she does mark you as a chump you are in danger of bigger trouble in the future. Another good plan might be to get a dance from another girl and then leave. :->
I've seen that one before. Basically she is playing you for a chump. It's partly a control thing. She knows you'll wait around for her so she'll go and take care of less certain business first since you are basically a given. Don't let her take you for grant. Either wait for her to come to you, or better yet, get up and leave and then when she cries next time tell her you got bored of waiting.
10 comments
Latest
I like Kyle's approach. Basically, talk to her and see what's up. You might want to try talking to her when you come in, and setting a 'date' 30 minutes later or whatever. If she never shows, then she doesn't value your business and it's time to say sianora.
I'm wondering how old the gentleman was. There are a small number of women who strongly prefer old men--not as boyfriends but as safe wise strong figures.
If she's quiet and non-assertive, then I wouldn't worry about her or try and change her too much.
Number One Rule (there are many of these): Do not assume the worst.
Just because she spent time with an older gentleman who didn't tip her means very little unless you have more information. Perhaps he has thrown $$$ at her in the past or has thrown $$$ at other dancers in the past.
Sometimes dancers will avoid customers who like them too much. Like one dancer told me there are lots of attractive dancers here so there is NO reason to focus on me. She was correct there were lot of attractive dancers, but often a dancer's idea of attractive is very generous to the other women. Once she understood that I just cared about getting dances from her she really let herself go and became a lot of fun! :)
Does she ask other customers for dances? If not, then don't expect her to ask for dances from you.
Some times the tough love approach works wonders i.e. Davids' advice. I prefer the more upfront approach. When it seems like the two of you are on the same level having a good time tell her that she is so much fun to be with that you'd appreciate it if she'd come over for dances in the future. Hopefully, she will eagerly agree to that--doesn't mean she will follow thru but it is a good start.