Floriduh of course

When officials came to arrest 28-year-old Floridian Casey Molter for the thorough dismantling he'd just given his girlfriend's '97 Altima, he told them he'd done it because she was a "spiritual person" who could "tell a person about their dreams." Her latest vision, he added, was a little heavy on the dead grandma dildo sex.

Specifically, according to Treasure Coast Newspapers crime blogger Will Greenlee, Molter's unnamed girlfriend allegedly told him that "his dead grandmother would appear in his dreams and commit unusual sex acts involving him and an adult toy."

For that unwanted prediction, he allegedly smashed her cellphone, slashed the Altima's tires, broke its side mirror, littered it with ambiguously natured "love notes," and adorned it with a single used condom like a maraschino cherry.

Greenlee's report also includes a mention of Molter "throwing the creams and lotions," though it's unclear whether his target was his girlfriend or her Nissan.

According to the incident report, Molter, of Indian River County, told police he "snapped" because he couldn't get the image of his late, sweet granny violating him with "an adult erotic device" out of his head. He was arrested for criminal mischief.