Dancer Refuses to Dance . . .

BTW, the point you raised about NOT caring about what she is thinking, but just caring about how she treats you, I would think is fairly rare. I think the same way. I'm there for a fantasy and not to get into the dancer's head or become her friend. We might become friends, but that is NOT what I'm looking for.

My strip club cruising friends think it is weird that for the most part I don't care how the dancer really feels about me and will still buy dances even if I learn she dislikes me. The few dancers I've talked to about this also thought it was weird that I would continue to pay $ to someone who didn't like me. I was just interested in was she doing a good job at a price I could afford?

It is the same with other professionals I deal with. Are they doing a good job? If so, then I would probably want to continue the relationship even if we disliked each other or they disliked me. Of course, it may be nicer to have a competent buddy do the work . . .

Hi Fondl,

I was very impressed that she was aware of the risk to herself. I didn't think there was much risk because I wasn't her type AT ALL. (For me there is zero risk if the woman is not my type.) But, even for extra $ she wasn't interested in playing that game. The physical part she had NO qualms. She just didn't want any part of a fantasy and it didn't seem to be because of any possible concerns she might have about me believing it. Even after we got to know each other better and she looked forward to seeing me, she wouldn't play the game. She took the stand that what you see is what you get and if you don't like it find another dancer.

She said she'd seen other girls get messed in the head after repeating a lie once to often. Basically it sounds like what you're saying. Maybe that is why so few dancers are willing to do it--some instinct. I had always thought if a woman had no problem with the physical aspect than how bad could it be to play a role when both parties agree?

I'm sure it has probably been tested and shown that people can brainwash themselves by playing a fantasy over and over again. Essentially, that is what I'm looking for. A fantasy replayed many times with the same woman.

Kyle, you raise an interesting issue when you mention a girl starting to believe her own act. I think that happens a lot, both inside and outside of clubs. In fact I've read books that say the secret to success is to act as if you are already successful and it will come true. But getting back to dancers, I've often wondered how often a dancer will pretend to be someone's friend and it ultimately comes true. I think that's exactly what happened between my ATF and me. I've often found that if you pretend something for long enough you will eventually end up believing it. That's why I never care whether a dancer is acting or not - it doesn't really make any difference what's going on between her ears, it's how she acts that counts. And like most people, I don't think dancers always know how they really feel about a lot of things.

Hi Phoenixxxblaque,

She can act like a real girlfriend. Plenty of eye contact and touching. The setting of a strip club can vary wildly. At Angels they weren't even playing music because I didn't like the noise. Finally, as more dancers came I compromised to low volume noise because the dancers were complaining that it was difficult to dance without music. Anyway, it was a quiet club and I would be there almost every day for hours and hours and hours. One of the dancers who I knew for around a year (I lose track of time) said that she wanted to see me outside the club. I said fine as long as I pay you for your time, but I can't pay too much because I don't make much. She says NO, I don't want you paying me anymore. She thought that was good news. To me it was very negative. I wanted a fantasy girlfriend. And, she acted just like the perfect girlfriend--but, it was paid. And, I wanted it to stay paid. She said it was making her feel dirty because we were friends. I said NO problem consider me your enemy. She said it was FREE or NOT AT ALL. That was the end. :(

Later, I met another dancer at Coco's and she was willing to provide a lot of service including FS, but NO GFE. She explained that she was afraid she might start believing her own act and that I wasn't boyfriend material. Anyway, I accepted her terms--NO GFE. But, she understood exactly what I was looking for.

So to me, GFE ='s a con or acting job that is so good you actually believe the other person is your girlfriend. Most dancers that I've met won't do it even after I've known them awhile.

I remember this 1 dancer who was working hard to avoid me at Tootsie's. She finally explained that she was afraid because I'd ignored so many hot dancers and went directly for her. Once she understood I just wanted to buy dances--a fantasy for $$$ relationship she changed into another person. She really let herself go. She explained that she felt she could trust me to realize she was acting. Normally she wouldn't act because the customer would NOT understand it was a service. Anyway, WOW what a convincing performance. I felt like her boyfriend. :)

forgive my ignorance...i know what gfe means for an escort,what exactly does that mean for a dancer..its a different setting,how can a dancer be a gfe in a club?just curious.

Hi Shadowcat,

I had a dancer who didn't want to do any dances while her "boyfriend" was there. He was checking on her income progress (she does a little prostitution on the side, btw). Anyway, she got visibly upset and angry when I told her that her "boyfriend" didn't care about who she sold herself to as long as she was giving him the money. He has at least 4 girls working him and she thinks he cares about her who she's servicing. The supposed trick she fell for was so stupid. She sees his success--fancy truck--big home--new clothes and jewelry and wants to be with a winner who will share the wealth when she proves her loyalty. She said her aunt or grandma try telling her what I was telling her, but she needed to have hope. A very hot girl, but lacking self esteem and good sense.

Phoenixxxblaque,

Forget the "femme fatale." I need the GFE and few dancers are willing to do it and even rarer is doing it to perfection. She does a perfect job or next to nothing. She seemed in a very good mood at least with the other customers and dancers. For me it was the statement "I can't complain" repeated.

I had this one dancer I'd known a long time finally agree to try GFE mode. Yikes, I asked her to please go back to dancer mode. She said you wanted me to treat you like were one of my boyfriends . . .

maybe the dancer in question just wanted to get her head straight and wasnt in the mood to play "femme fatale"sometimes there are personal things going on that you really dont want to share with anyone,yet you have a job to do and thus,you do it anyway-even if you really should take the night off and just relax instead.sounds like she was "winging it"...just enough to make scratch money,but not really hustling too much..sometimes you just have to do that.