Goodbye My CF, I Have To End It Before I Lose My Sanity
Friday, October 17, 2014 10:35 PM
When we first met on that night it was definitely the best night, nothing could beat what we did and those moments that flowed from there were all wonderful feelings that will stay in my heart. I still remember it was on March 21, though I forgot the conversation we had, good thing I wrote them here...
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Looking back, you were so pretty looking and I couldn't believe a lady like you would fall for me, you are one of the best dancers in there, simply obviously top shelf, and anyone would love to hang out with. I'm always going to stare at your face because it is so awesome pretty. See, like I always say to you every time I wanna make you smile, I have written them down in this letter for you to read. That's no bull for sure.
I just had to be myself because that's just me. My personality never changed over time, I was the same person you met the first night and I am still the same guy writing this letter.
As months rolled along, you became comfortable with me and the real you showed up. Man, was I so shocked to see the real you. I couldn't believe the lady I met who was so nice and soft spoken was all just a mirage.
And now, the real you is just I see every single day. It's just sad for me to see this and I couldn't take it anymore.
I think Jeff (the guy who loved you so much) who helped you and provided you a room so that you won't be on the street was probably 200% of a man and I think he really loves you. Yet you chose to bring hell to his house and make his life miserable. I saw all that and it made me think about my feelings for you. I think that was the turning point when my feelings for you changed from OK to watch out this girl is trouble.
As I was loading and unloading your boxes out of his house, I could see Jeff's reaction to how things were unfolding. He has feelings for you, he gave you stuff that I will probably not be able to give, and it simply shows he is the better man.
The thing though that's really troubling me is why do I see you every day? Do you have feelings for me? You call me and you say you wanna see me and I go to your place and we just go and hang out. I don't get it, was there something in there that I'm over thinking?
But hey, I have to give myself a chance, a chance to see for myself the lady that will really like me and not put me in this kind of limbo. I think I'm done with this shit and I'm tired of going through the same thing over and over. You seem to be stuck going round and round like you are going to be young forever.
Thing though is we never really had a huge or even a small fight. We just gelled like that and that's why I like you so much for that, we just click. You know, I would always be the one making you smile when you are down and all stressed out. I would make you feel better because you needed support from me. I was always there when you needed someone to be with.
All that is going to go away. It's not going to be the same. I will not be there when all of this is over.
I'm just sad right now as I'm typing this, I really hate typing this letter because I will lose you.
And you know what? You are going to get through this like I'm just a crumble on your lap, simply shove it away and you will be OK.
Goodbye my dear friend, lover, BFF, all of the above.
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