Goodbye My CF, I Have To End It Before I Lose My Sanity

avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
When we first met on that night it was definitely the best night, nothing could beat what we did and those moments that flowed from there were all wonderful feelings that will stay in my heart. I still remember it was on March 21, though I forgot the conversation we had, good thing I wrote them here...

https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=2…

Looking back, you were so pretty looking and I couldn't believe a lady like you would fall for me, you are one of the best dancers in there, simply obviously top shelf, and anyone would love to hang out with. I'm always going to stare at your face because it is so awesome pretty. See, like I always say to you every time I wanna make you smile, I have written them down in this letter for you to read. That's no bull for sure.

I just had to be myself because that's just me. My personality never changed over time, I was the same person you met the first night and I am still the same guy writing this letter.

As months rolled along, you became comfortable with me and the real you showed up. Man, was I so shocked to see the real you. I couldn't believe the lady I met who was so nice and soft spoken was all just a mirage.

And now, the real you is just I see every single day. It's just sad for me to see this and I couldn't take it anymore.

I think Jeff (the guy who loved you so much) who helped you and provided you a room so that you won't be on the street was probably 200% of a man and I think he really loves you. Yet you chose to bring hell to his house and make his life miserable. I saw all that and it made me think about my feelings for you. I think that was the turning point when my feelings for you changed from OK to watch out this girl is trouble.

As I was loading and unloading your boxes out of his house, I could see Jeff's reaction to how things were unfolding. He has feelings for you, he gave you stuff that I will probably not be able to give, and it simply shows he is the better man.

The thing though that's really troubling me is why do I see you every day? Do you have feelings for me? You call me and you say you wanna see me and I go to your place and we just go and hang out. I don't get it, was there something in there that I'm over thinking?

But hey, I have to give myself a chance, a chance to see for myself the lady that will really like me and not put me in this kind of limbo. I think I'm done with this shit and I'm tired of going through the same thing over and over. You seem to be stuck going round and round like you are going to be young forever.

Thing though is we never really had a huge or even a small fight. We just gelled like that and that's why I like you so much for that, we just click. You know, I would always be the one making you smile when you are down and all stressed out. I would make you feel better because you needed support from me. I was always there when you needed someone to be with.

All that is going to go away. It's not going to be the same. I will not be there when all of this is over.

I'm just sad right now as I'm typing this, I really hate typing this letter because I will lose you.

And you know what? You are going to get through this like I'm just a crumble on your lap, simply shove it away and you will be OK.

Goodbye my dear friend, lover, BFF, all of the above.

29 comments

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avatar for jerikson40
jerikson40
10 years ago
Wow, that was nice....

Sadly, you probably won't get a response from her I suppose, even though a warm, loving, heartfelt letter like that deserves a response.

If it's any consolation, let me give you what I think her most likely response would be:

"um, yeah, okay.........like, whatever......what was your name again?"

Be strong dude....
avatar for PhantomGeek
PhantomGeek
10 years ago
Eloquent, heartfelt. I don't know what else to say, but, "Wow."
avatar for deogol
deogol
10 years ago
Welcome to post-PL...
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
10 years ago
end it? end what? You have a relationship with a stripper you are seeing outside the club? The letter just seems like a lot of drama.
avatar for slaux_pas
slaux_pas
10 years ago
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess this wasn’t the first and won’t be the last time a girl has taken out a restraining order on you.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
10 years ago
Do you want some whine with that cheese? Man up and just move on.
avatar for steve229
steve229
10 years ago
You'll always have Paris

#FindAnotherHooker
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago
Goodbye to you, my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and A B C's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees


avatar for steve229
steve229
10 years ago
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
10 years ago
Bye bye love
Bye bye happiness
Hello loneliness
I think I'm-a gonna cry-y
Bye bye love
Bye bye sweet caress
Hello emptiness
I feel like I could die
Bye bye my love goodbye
avatar for steve229
steve229
10 years ago
Now, could I have loved someone like the one I see in you
Yeah, I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too
These last few weeks of holding on
The days are dull, the nights are long
Guess it's better to say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye baby
So long darling
Goodbye to you
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
Another one bites the dust.

“… Looking back, you were so pretty looking and I couldn't believe a lady like you would fall for me …”

Pardon my cynicism; but most dancers (and even many good looking civvi women) will “fall” for whomever can take care of them at the moment.


Dancers can be like a used car – i.e. may not be a good idea to put too much into it (e.g. $$$; etc.).


PLs have gotta stop looking for love in the wrong places (i.e. strip-clubs/dancers).
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
10 years ago
Another tuition story. ;)

Some guys learn with modest investments in their education and some need to invest more heavily, over and over, before the lesson sinks in. Given his need to continue to pine away over a girl who treated him and another guy like the suckers that they are, I'm guessing that alabegonz's education is still a work-in-progress. Imagine the scene of one PL eagerly moving this girl's newly acquired goods from the home of another PL, lmao.

Lesson learned now or at some point in the future: Don't fall in love with a stripper!

LOL.
avatar for steve229
steve229
10 years ago
Bye Bye
Don't wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,
Baby, bye, bye, bye...

Bye Bye
Don't really wanna make it tough,
I just wanna tell you that I had enough.
It might sound crazy,
But it ain't no lie,
Baby, bye, bye, bye
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago
50 ways to leave your lover

avatar for mikeya02
mikeya02
10 years ago
Now the whole wide world is movin'
'cause there's iron in my heart
I just can't keep from cryin'
'cause you say we've got to part
Sorrow grips my voice as I stand here all alone
And watch you slowly take away
a love I've never known
I was warned about you, baby
but my feelings were a little bit too strong

Just a little bit too strong.....
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
10 years ago
"I'm guessing that alabegonz's education is still a work-in-progress. Imagine the scene of one PL eagerly moving this girl's newly acquired goods from the home of another PL."

The experience I get while hanging out with this girl is like I've never seen before.

Take for example, her brazen decadent showmanship where she seduced a customer in two minutes, the guy melted and spent a huge amount of money on her.

While she was seducing the PL, she would embrace him, her head pointing my direction and her eyes looking at me like she's saying "here's another sucka watch me bleed his wallet dry."

It's not fair, because she enjoys it more than I do, she gets to play with custies all night and vacuum the wallet.

It's not fair for me when a dancer she know seduces me and I would play the time and try not to engage but still let the seducer hang in there. She would send texts bombing me of "WTF dude, what are you doing??? Lay off of her right now!!!"

And Jeff, poor guy, didn't know exactly how to handle her. I bet it was a ride of his life to have her live in his abode. It's just a total hell to be able to have a daily relationship with her.

I would like to walk away from it, I'm done with this dancer.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
10 years ago
Que sera, sera.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago
After all, tomorrow is another day.
avatar for alexrain
alexrain
10 years ago
alabegonz: you seem to take pride in being a simp.

Don't.

avatar for jestrite50
jestrite50
10 years ago
I know how you feel. I had to fire one of my ATF / OTC GIRLSDback in December after I found out she lied to me and had gone back into an abusive situation with her BABY DADDY. I still miss her very very much and don't know if i will ever get over it. But it was my decision. I had to do it. I couldn't take any more of the lying and manipulation.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
10 years ago
Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in thirty seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
avatar for alexrain
alexrain
10 years ago
"Heat" ROCKS!
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago



Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
10 years ago
We won't get fooled again... No no. Won't get fooled again!
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago


All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
“Heard it from a friend who …”
“Heard it from a friend who …”
“Heard it from another you’ve been messing around”
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
10 years ago
________

Wake up Maggie I think I got something to say to you
It's late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused but
You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone
You stole my heart and that's what really hurt
avatar for steve229
steve229
10 years ago
I don't need to fall at your feet
Just cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone

And If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself
I'll get over you I know I will
I'll pretend my ships not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
Because I am the king of wishful thinking
Because I am the king of wishful thinking
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