i'm hating myself less ... this is bad
NMcBrain
Ohio
In the past, I just haven't had the strip club stamina that you guys have. I have never really been able to go to a strip club once or twice a week or something like that. It hasn't been an economic barrier, but rather a psychological one. I go to a club, have a good time while I am there, feel the emptiness on the drive home, and then go through a period of self-loathing. And that self-loathing keeps me away from the clubs for quite awhile. Eventually, the self-loathing would go away, the horniness index would rise, and then I would go to the club for another good evening (until it ended). And then the cycle would repeat.
But I have noticed that the intervals between outings to the club have been getting shorter and shorter. What started as once or twice a year became once a quarter, and then once every couple of months, and now I am around once a month. And, I have started noticing that I am getting the itch a lot more (no, that it isn't the herp you homos -- I have that well under control now, mmmkay?) -- I can see myself going to once a fortnight soon (you act all hard juice, but I know that you love using the word "fortnight" as much as the next brother). I have started telling myself, look, I like having 20 year naked babes that I really have no business even looking at grinding away on me. What is so wrong about that in the first place?
The thing is: I guess it is wrong -- or at least a little bit fucked up. I don't think most guys do this shit.
I am conflicted, my friends. And I cannot imagine a more caring or sensitive community to bring my problems to than TUSCL. So tell me: how do you feel about your clubbing? Has it always been that way? Did you go through a process?
And yeah yeah yeah, I know that some of you will be like "I didn't need no motherfucking process; the day I was born I popped out of my old lady's vagina and stuck a single back in it; the vending machine is afraid of my wallet because all my bills stick together; this psychological shit is for pussies." But that isn't really true, holmes. The more you say shit like that, the more you are covering up your feelings inside, and we all can see through that. So let your secrets out. Tell.
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I went to massage parlors a few times a year in Toronto and would hire the occasional escort while in Canada.
I found myself not wanting to go to strip clubs anymore because they reminded me too much of the strippers I used to date, and I didn't want to even attempt to start another stripper relationship. I currently have one with 1 stripper but it's strictly OTC pay for play. I intend on keeping it that way and I'm guessing she wants to keep it the same as well. My previous relationships were on a more personal level way past OTC.
Last fall I discovered Detroit clubs and it has renewed my interest in clubbing. I try to get up there as much as I can on my own will or sometimes I can reroute a business trip. Under normal circumstances it's a 5 hour drive for me (I'm a road warrior so that's not a big deal for me). So I've been 6 times in 10 months. If it was closer or if I'd have more free time I'd go once a month. If it was real close I could see trying to keep it at once a month but I'd probably go twice a month. I used to go to Toronto for clubbing but have found Detroit to me easier for me to get to and quite frankly a lot more fun.
In the meantime I have visited 6 clubs while in other cities, some with friends, some solo. So for me I'm averaging about 3 visits every two months at the moment. If there were better clubs near where I live, I'd imagine I would go clubbing more often.
One note, I do not club in my own town, for one reason the clubs suck, and the other being I do not want my car being spotted. I don't care if I run into someone I know while inside, it's a conservative type driving by that bothers me, like a friend of my mom or someone my s.o. works with... I live in a small town.
Not being a regular here, I'm not sure if this guy is just another moronic alias for some douchebag with no life, but I'll bite and assume he's serious. Which I'll probably regret later....
Anyway, WTF are you talking about "emptiness and self-loathing"?? From going to a freaking strip club? I don't get it.
Jerik -- Self-loathing comes from the knowledge that if I was a super fly playa like some out there, I wouldn't really need to go to strip clubs for all the tang. But I do. And regular strip clubbing carries elements of lameness. Hence the PL moniker that gets tattoo'd on your forehead.
I dunno. I have gotten more comfortable with it. It is what it is, and if I be a PL, so be it.
Fuck it though, it's hard to put a price on good times and good memories.
I feel my self loathing has o do with the cycle of rejection. Once I stop handing out $20's I'm no longer attractive, and even though strippers genuinely tell me how much they enjoy dancing for me. I've commented on other posts how several years ago I used to get OTC for free from horny ass strippers, and the downside to that I trying to match that high. Knowing my odds do repeating those conquests are much lower than ever, I self loath wondering what it is that I gain from going? I certainly know what I'm giving up.
My answer has been to go much less often. And when I do go I'm not so anxious for the dance. I enjoy the drinks, enjoy the music, and if I get lucky to make a connection on the day of the visit then I had a victory. It's the days of no victory due to my expectations that create self loathing. Make sure I set my expectations low and try to find some enjoyment, then I feel like my money was well spent on entertainment. It's a vicious cycle, and once you have a great time at the club you expect that same experience to happen all of the time. Like Winston Churchill once said, "It's great to be idealistic, but then there comes a time when you have to grow up and get real!" This also is true of a stripper's life. Rambling over.....for now. Good post NMcBrain.
I still feel that way but I'm there for a purpose, that's to get a "release" and it's a whole lot easier doing that there which is quick and the closest thing to guaranteed that I can find with minimal legal risks in the USA.
I've done the "bangin" housewives, picking up civvies and visiting a strip club seems to be the easiest and drama free, that's how I justify it. If strippers think I'm a PL for going there, maybe I think they're PLs for working there... If you factor in the time I put in, dinners, hotel rooms etc the strip club is probably the most economical route. It certainly would be if I didn't buy so many drinks but I guess that's just part of the party/process/fun.
Lastly I think most men with some disposable income blow their money on something the shouldn't. All my friends have some sort of passion they blow money on. Golfing and expensive golf clubs and green fees, gambling on sports and or in casinos, cars or motorcycles they never use, guns they never shoot, tools they never fix anything with, stock market and wine collections that sit and gather dust. Maybe clubbing is just another "hobby" similar to others? Granted some of the things I mentioned above these guys could turn a profit on, but I don't think that's the main purpose they do it.
You are right that most men don't do this but that's because either 1) they don't know what's truly available and how to get it, and/or 2. They are too scared that the ball and chain in their life will find out. It really is their loss, and it leaves more girls for the rest of us.
Your feelings are normal but you'll overcome them as you should. Sounds like you already are.
Is that how you feel after blowing several thousand at one of Juice's clubs or LMN feels after getting a bj? I do not know. If you're making 400k a year like many on here, then it's like tossing quarters playing a beer game.
Oh wait a minute, I remember an empty feeling now. I was trying to go to a strip club but some Korean massage parlor girls made me feel a bit emptier after not getting past them.
I don't make much either.
There actually have been a couple of non-strip club places where I have tried this. It always resulted in a lot of silliness, giggling, and screaming.
I've always seen strippers, strip clubs, OTC, escorts, and all other manner of P4P as giving critical perspective, but no more. If you go there and pay and partake, you will see just how pleasing women can be, if they want to.
But then you also should see that in principle, anything they can do for money they could also do for free. Sure, everybody needs money, and so these women get their money that way. But the link between sex and money never gets any stronger than that.
The most basic things in life, knowledge, spirituality, and sex, don't need to cost any money.
So a strip club will let you see that maybe the relations between men and women don't have to be the way they are. But the strip club itself is not the solution. It is only an indicator that things could be different. But to get something different, we have to be able to make alliances in order to build it.
Still though I agree with what a dancer said, "Using strip clubs for sexual gratification is perverted." I agree with this, and I do see it as an addiction. I think this is what NMcBrain is getting at.
Rather than strip clubs we should be figuring how to make it so that we are drained dry on a daily basis by women as good to us as strippers are. I believe that this is possible. Women, and everybody else too, need to be part of our economy. But this doesn't mean that they necessarily have to be supported with the escort business model. Also, women have a very high capacity. So they should be able to give us all we could ever want, and still have lots left over.
SJG
This sounds like a YOU issue to be honest. ;)
Now can I score what I used to 20 years ago? Of course not and I am perfectly fine with that. But my reason for going to clubs is not to fill some sexual or relationship void. If you are using clubs for this purpose, then you should be careful as they are a bad place for weak and lonely men to frequent.