i'm hating myself less ... this is bad

As for me I seldom went to clubs. Maybe once or twice a year. Then I ended up dating a few strippers, then I had a good friend, and all he wanted to do was go into strip clubs on our free time. The relationships with the strippers ended and so did the friendship with my sc buddy.

I went to massage parlors a few times a year in Toronto and would hire the occasional escort while in Canada.

I found myself not wanting to go to strip clubs anymore because they reminded me too much of the strippers I used to date, and I didn't want to even attempt to start another stripper relationship. I currently have one with 1 stripper but it's strictly OTC pay for play. I intend on keeping it that way and I'm guessing she wants to keep it the same as well. My previous relationships were on a more personal level way past OTC.

Last fall I discovered Detroit clubs and it has renewed my interest in clubbing. I try to get up there as much as I can on my own will or sometimes I can reroute a business trip. Under normal circumstances it's a 5 hour drive for me (I'm a road warrior so that's not a big deal for me). So I've been 6 times in 10 months. If it was closer or if I'd have more free time I'd go once a month. If it was real close I could see trying to keep it at once a month but I'd probably go twice a month. I used to go to Toronto for clubbing but have found Detroit to me easier for me to get to and quite frankly a lot more fun.

In the meantime I have visited 6 clubs while in other cities, some with friends, some solo. So for me I'm averaging about 3 visits every two months at the moment. If there were better clubs near where I live, I'd imagine I would go clubbing more often.

One note, I do not club in my own town, for one reason the clubs suck, and the other being I do not want my car being spotted. I don't care if I run into someone I know while inside, it's a conservative type driving by that bothers me, like a friend of my mom or someone my s.o. works with... I live in a small town.

"....feel the emptiness on the drive home, and then go through a period of self-loathing."

Not being a regular here, I'm not sure if this guy is just another moronic alias for some douchebag with no life, but I'll bite and assume he's serious. Which I'll probably regret later....

Anyway, WTF are you talking about "emptiness and self-loathing"?? From going to a freaking strip club? I don't get it.

Thanks for the responses boys.

Jerik -- Self-loathing comes from the knowledge that if I was a super fly playa like some out there, I wouldn't really need to go to strip clubs for all the tang. But I do. And regular strip clubbing carries elements of lameness. Hence the PL moniker that gets tattoo'd on your forehead.

I dunno. I have gotten more comfortable with it. It is what it is, and if I be a PL, so be it.

My self loathing comes from thinking of all of the other things I could have bought with the cash I dropped for a few lappers.

Fuck it though, it's hard to put a price on good times and good memories.

Self loathing... Yes! Acknowledging this is the first step to accepting it, and I too go through the same feelings about clubbing as you NMcBrain. All normal, and if I wasn't making more money I believe changes would be made.

I feel my self loathing has o do with the cycle of rejection. Once I stop handing out $20's I'm no longer attractive, and even though strippers genuinely tell me how much they enjoy dancing for me. I've commented on other posts how several years ago I used to get OTC for free from horny ass strippers, and the downside to that I trying to match that high. Knowing my odds do repeating those conquests are much lower than ever, I self loath wondering what it is that I gain from going? I certainly know what I'm giving up.

My answer has been to go much less often. And when I do go I'm not so anxious for the dance. I enjoy the drinks, enjoy the music, and if I get lucky to make a connection on the day of the visit then I had a victory. It's the days of no victory due to my expectations that create self loathing. Make sure I set my expectations low and try to find some enjoyment, then I feel like my money was well spent on entertainment. It's a vicious cycle, and once you have a great time at the club you expect that same experience to happen all of the time. Like Winston Churchill once said, "It's great to be idealistic, but then there comes a time when you have to grow up and get real!" This also is true of a stripper's life. Rambling over.....for now. Good post NMcBrain.

I think there's a general PL feeling for anyone guy with some swag (or former swag) every time they walk into a strip club.

I still feel that way but I'm there for a purpose, that's to get a "release" and it's a whole lot easier doing that there which is quick and the closest thing to guaranteed that I can find with minimal legal risks in the USA.

I've done the "bangin" housewives, picking up civvies and visiting a strip club seems to be the easiest and drama free, that's how I justify it. If strippers think I'm a PL for going there, maybe I think they're PLs for working there... If you factor in the time I put in, dinners, hotel rooms etc the strip club is probably the most economical route. It certainly would be if I didn't buy so many drinks but I guess that's just part of the party/process/fun.

Lastly I think most men with some disposable income blow their money on something the shouldn't. All my friends have some sort of passion they blow money on. Golfing and expensive golf clubs and green fees, gambling on sports and or in casinos, cars or motorcycles they never use, guns they never shoot, tools they never fix anything with, stock market and wine collections that sit and gather dust. Maybe clubbing is just another "hobby" similar to others? Granted some of the things I mentioned above these guys could turn a profit on, but I don't think that's the main purpose they do it.

I absolutely went through a process. For a while, I would feel a let down after leaving a club, kind of depressed like that was fun but fake. However, I mostly got over those feelings once I learned how to have more fun with the girls in and outside the club. Every once in a while that feeling comes back but it never lasts long anymore. Occasionally I feel guilt over the money spent but shailynn explained that point well. All pussy comes with costs and there are much more expensive ways to get it.

You are right that most men don't do this but that's because either 1) they don't know what's truly available and how to get it, and/or 2. They are too scared that the ball and chain in their life will find out. It really is their loss, and it leaves more girls for the rest of us.

Your feelings are normal but you'll overcome them as you should. Sounds like you already are.

emptiness? self loathing? I'm not familiar with that. Is that the way you feel after going to a fun party and you leave because you want to get home before you get sleepy?

Is that how you feel after blowing several thousand at one of Juice's clubs or LMN feels after getting a bj? I do not know. If you're making 400k a year like many on here, then it's like tossing quarters playing a beer game. Oh wait a minute, I remember an empty feeling now. I was trying to go to a strip club but some Korean massage parlor girls made me feel a bit emptier after not getting past them.

wtf sharkhunter I make 2 mil a year, don't put me at 400k with the other fucking peasants!! Lmao!!!

I just said many make 400k on here. Obviously some make over 2 mil a year too. LMN probably has access to some multi billion dollar fund. I'm just glad Founder has refused to sell his web site. Unless he did and he now has a billion too. Somehow I believe this site will never be as mainstream as YouTube or Facebook.

I was making a joke!!!!! I do not make 2 mil or 400k that was my subtle sarcasm on a few dildos on this board! Lol

lol, of course you don't make 2 million on here. We all have to pretend we're poor like juice to keep the fun going. I don't make much either.

Fortunately I do not like any of the clubs close to my home base otherwise I might be tempted to club more than I do. I used to club locally and had a favorite with some OTC but she became possessive so we parted ways and did not renew the clubbing burn phone I was using. Right now it is a fun way to pass the time when traveling. Beats watching TV(50 channels of boring mind numbing nothing) in a hotel room or trolling hotel bars. Yes many times an escort would be less expensive if that's all you want, but you don't get to view the merchandise before you buy. Many times the journey is as much fun as the destination.

When I see a sexy young woman, I want to be able to start shoving $1 at a time into her waist band and having her pose and give me all the standard naughty views, and I want to start pawing her too.

There actually have been a couple of non-strip club places where I have tried this. It always resulted in a lot of silliness, giggling, and screaming.

I've always seen strippers, strip clubs, OTC, escorts, and all other manner of P4P as giving critical perspective, but no more. If you go there and pay and partake, you will see just how pleasing women can be, if they want to.

But then you also should see that in principle, anything they can do for money they could also do for free. Sure, everybody needs money, and so these women get their money that way. But the link between sex and money never gets any stronger than that.

The most basic things in life, knowledge, spirituality, and sex, don't need to cost any money.

So a strip club will let you see that maybe the relations between men and women don't have to be the way they are. But the strip club itself is not the solution. It is only an indicator that things could be different. But to get something different, we have to be able to make alliances in order to build it.

Still though I agree with what a dancer said, "Using strip clubs for sexual gratification is perverted." I agree with this, and I do see it as an addiction. I think this is what NMcBrain is getting at.

Rather than strip clubs we should be figuring how to make it so that we are drained dry on a daily basis by women as good to us as strippers are. I believe that this is possible. Women, and everybody else too, need to be part of our economy. But this doesn't mean that they necessarily have to be supported with the escort business model. Also, women have a very high capacity. So they should be able to give us all we could ever want, and still have lots left over.

SJG

"...Self-loathing comes from the knowledge that if I was a super fly playa like some out there, I wouldn't really need to go to strip clubs for all the tang. But I do. And regular strip clubbing carries elements of lameness."

This sounds like a YOU issue to be honest. ;)

Now can I score what I used to 20 years ago? Of course not and I am perfectly fine with that. But my reason for going to clubs is not to fill some sexual or relationship void. If you are using clubs for this purpose, then you should be careful as they are a bad place for weak and lonely men to frequent.