mollies, strippers and vomiting

Still recovering from a rough saturday night. I convinced the usual suspect stripper to get some mollies for me/us from her abusive ex-boyfriend. The guy sells very high quality MDMA and she has not seen him since he beat her up especially bad (for doing otc with me ironically). I felt bad asking her to get drugs from him but for whatever reason, the guy has the best mdma I've ever had. I paid her $100 to buy the molly from him and she agreed despite her fear that he'd beat her up again. She survived unscathed with the drugs and we went to a yuppie bar/lounge in Brickell. At about 11pm we arrive and we take the first Molly as we park. Mistake number 1 - I decided to take out my Dodge Viper ACR. Given that it has no traction control or active handling, it's not the easiest vehicle to drive drunk (something I'm generally a pro at). So we sit down at a table and I order a bottle of grey goose and a bottle of 1942. We also start vaporizing some weed in an e cigarette. By midnight I'm feeling the x pretty hard and we each pop another roll. The stimulant effect from the molly is making it tough to feel the alcohol and by 1am we've killed the grey goose bottle entirely and pop a 3rd roll. Mistake number 2 - taking 3 rolls and drinking 2 bottles of liquor. By 2am I'm drenched in sweat, rolling hard, shitfaced from the liquor and the stripper won't shut the fuck up going on and on about her hopes and dreams and childhood. I decide we should go to LIV to hear some music and decide to get in the viper and drive off. Mistake number 3 - getting behind the wheel. Soaking wet in sweat, grinding my teeth, stripper still obliviously blabbing in the passenger seat, barely able to control the car on i95 I begin vomiting on myself while driving. I pull over into the breakdown lane, step out of the car, immediately burn myself on the side exhausts and vomit all over the exterior of the car. The vomiting seems to have woken me up to some degree and I figure I can probably drive home, given my clothes are covered in vomit, LIV wasn't an option any longer. I get back in the car and tell the stripper I'd probably be able to drive a lot better if she was sucking my dick. She obliges and I head home getting some pretty great deepthroat road head. No fucking clue how I didn't get a DUI