Has this ever happened to you?

7/1/2005 7:01:00 AM

When I was in Las Vegas at the Palamino, which wasn't the greatest night of my life, I made the mistake of getting worked up in a place that does not supply happy endings. So since it was dark I thought it would be safe to whip it out under the table and take matters into my own hands so to speak. Someone must have seen what I was doing because this big ape of a bouncer slapped the back of my head so hard I saw stars. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?", He yelled. I was so embarrassed because everyone in the place was looking at me. I stood up, zipped up and then ouch I caught my dick in the zipper. What bothers me the most is I could not think of one single Mark Twain quote to soothe either my nerves or my sore penis. My life sucks, I should just end it all.

Comments

last comment

pop

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

20 years ago

Instead of feeling complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.

parodyman-->

20 years ago

Have you ever had any shock treatments? Maybe you should look into them.

AbbieNormal

Maryland

20 years ago

Ever create a new ID just to mock someone only to be so obvious that everyone knows exactly who you are, and nobody cares? Hate it when that happens.

casualguy

20 years ago

I've heard the DJ speak up when they have a bachelor on stage that "We do not want to see mr pee pee!" I think that applies to almost every gentlemen's club outside of san franscico. Your case is the first I heard of. I hope you learned not to do that again. I think someone caught doing this would be called a weirdo or wacko here on the east coast. Perhaps you watched Michael Jackson too much, I don't know.

jctone

20 years ago

Don't give up that easily. We have all had some embarrassment in our lives.

Maybe Mark Twain is not known for coming up with comebacks.

Just be more careful next time. It could have been done more professionally by the bouncer. But we all know the educational level of most bouncers. Apologies for all those college educated bouncers out there.

driver01no2

20 years ago

Parody man shut up allready! Abbynormal, I assure you I am not faking anything. But I do have a quote that was brought to mind by you. "In discarding the monkey and substituting man, our Father in Heaven did the monkey an undeserved injustice."
- Mark Twain's Autobiography; Mark Twain in Eruption

parodyman-->

20 years ago

How about "CrabbyBunghole"? That would be a funny one for AbbyNormal. Any takers?

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