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Open message to LMN's parents

First off, a message to my fellow pervos. Please don't make the poor lil fella paranoid with jokes about screen shots. His parents probably caught him jackin' it while postin' 'bout hookers an' blow. That made them search his bedroom where the found his porno mags and a pipe with a little resin in it. They told him he wouldn't get to cash his savings bonds unless he deleted all the perverted crap he wrote.

Now the meat of the matter -- hey Mr. and Mrs. LMN -- your son is an ok dude. Yeah he posts some sick and twisted shit, but no more so than any teen boy. All of us were twisted perverts when we were his age. Most of us turned out...

On second thought, do yo' want him to end up like us? No way Jose. Punish the lil' dude by trashing his porno collection, ground him, and forbid him from using his computer. I'd say don't let him go to prom, but...

A) that probably isn't an issue. And...
B) it would do him good to go out with a real girl rather than fantasizing 'bout hookers.

And whatever you do, make sure he doesn't drink or do drugs. He has some serious issues with thinking drugs are fun. He will abuse 'cos he thinks they're cool. Get the big book of crackhead pictures and explain to him that drug ain't coo-el. Nosiree...CRACK IS WHACK!!!