tuscl

Stripclub Heaven/Stripclub Hell

AbbieNormal
Maryland
A post on another topic about southern efficiency and northern charm reminded me of an old joke.

In Heaven:
The police are British,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are French,
The cooks are Italian,
Everything is organized by the Swiss.

In Hell:
The police are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The cooks are British,
Everything is organized by the Italians.

In strip club heaven the lapdances would be Canadian style. In stripclub hell, DC style (non-existant). Any other entries?

Stripclub heaven, the beer is German/English/Canadian
Stripclub hell it's Bud Lite.

5 comments

  • FONDL
    •
    19 years ago
    ShotDisc, I totally agree. But around here it seems that all the really hot dancers want to work in the big corporate gentlemen's clubs because they like the fancy surroundings and they think they can make more money there. So it's hard to find any dancers in the small local clubs who I like. So what's a guy to do? For me it's a real dilemma.
  • ShotDisc
    •
    19 years ago
    Heaven- a small local club with good looking natural types. all ages and sizes. an active private dance area with no supervision. reasonable prices, dancers who are genuinely willing to play. dancers with personalities. good music.

    Hell- big, corporate gentleman's clubs. outrageous cover charges and drink prices. dance areas with hovering bouncers. obnoxious dj's who think they are the reason we come to the club. dancers who don't give a shit and who are just there to wring every dollar out of every customer. t-shirt giveaways, rude dancers. rude customers. too much silicone/saline.
  • FONDL
    •
    19 years ago
    This particular club has 4 separate semi-private areas - an LD room where laps are $30 per song, the Champagne Room for $150 per half hour, the Gold Room for $175 per half hour, and an even more expensive room that I forget what it's called. I refer to the latter 3 rooms as VIP rooms for simplicity. The house gets a big cut of the VIP fees so the girls expect a good tip. The laps in the LD area are fully dressed to encourage people to buy the VIP rooms, which do include free drinks for you and the girl but of course the waitress expects a big tip so they really aren't free. She controls the timer so you definately want to tip her well. These rooms are all overpriced and I rarely do any of them anymore. Lately I just sit at the bar and have lunch with my fav, talk a little, tip her and leave. Not my idea of what a strip club visit should be like but I really like the girl.
  • casualguy
    •
    19 years ago
    FONDL, you have timers in your VIP room? Your VIP room must be more similiar to what clubs around here call Champagne rooms which I have never been in. I always get lap dances in a regular vip room which doesn't cost anything extra to go into and there is no timer although privacy is not that great. In fact some dancers just sit and chat for awhile no charge before I get a dance from them at a two for one reduced price.
  • FONDL
    •
    19 years ago
    Heaven is being in VIP with your favorite, naked, and the waitress forgot to start the timer or the power goes off.

    Hell is obnoxious DJ's who think you came to hear their humor and to suffer hearing damage, unfriendly bouncers glaring at you, overpriced drinks, over-aggressive ugly dancers who won't leave you alone, a naked girl on stage who weighs a lot more than you do.
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