I'm a Catholic so I can tell this joke
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
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Four nuns were outside the confessional, waiting their turn to ask forgiveness for their sins.
The first nun went in and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have put my finger on a man's penis.
The priest said, "Say five Our Fathers and put your finger in holy water."
The second nun went in and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have put my hand on a man's penis,"
The priest said, "Say five Our Fathers and put your hand in holy water."
When she heard this, the third nun turned to the fourth and said, "Maybe you should go in first, Sister, since I'll have to sit in it after you gargle.
Four nuns were outside the confessional, waiting their turn to ask forgiveness for their sins.
The first nun went in and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have put my finger on a man's penis.
The priest said, "Say five Our Fathers and put your finger in holy water."
The second nun went in and said, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have put my hand on a man's penis,"
The priest said, "Say five Our Fathers and put your hand in holy water."
When she heard this, the third nun turned to the fourth and said, "Maybe you should go in first, Sister, since I'll have to sit in it after you gargle.
21 comments
Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?
Because somebody might see them and think they were dancing.
Wash the dishes.
Actually, doing everything decently and in order, we first set up a committee to decide who will do the dishes, water temperature, detergent brand and whether we will allow the dishes to air dry or use a towel. It's hard being us ;-)
Told to me by a Catholic priest over thirty years ago.
MC, effusive with thanks, left on her journey. The first week, she called in. "Oh, thank-you. I'm in Paris this week visiting Notre Dame. It is just so magnificent!"
So it went for a few weeks. Then, one week, she failed to call in. And the next week, and the next. Peter was beginning to worry. Finally the phone rang, and St. Peter answered with relief.
"Hey Pete! This here's Cat. I'm in Nawlins!"
"Aww, c'mon Dad," complained Jesus, "We're not playing for money here!"
What's the difference between a pimple and a priest?
The pimple waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
Sorry that's bad.
What do you all a sleepwalking nun?
A Romin' Catholic!
So, a rabbi, a priest and a Baptist preacher walk into a bar. Wait, that's not right .....