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Tricks you can try on strippers

avatar for chandler
chandler
Blue Ridge Foothills
One night I'm sitting with two of my faves, Kerri and Toni. I decide to try an old trick I'd seen Groucho Marx pull on You Bet Your Life. Groucho had used it to "steal" a kiss for a dollar, so I modified it to "steal" a suck on a stripper's nipple. This is out on the main floor where there's no privacy and anything close to nipple sucking is frowned upon.

"I bet you a dollar," I say to Kerri, "I can take a suck on your nipple right here, and neither one of you will see me do it."

The two look each other quizzically, shrug their shoulders and say, "OK, you're on."

Upon which, I reach over, pull up her top, latch my mouth onto her nipple and suck away until she pushes me off.

"Hey, we saw that!" they exclaim.

I reach into my pocket. "Here's your dollar."

19 comments

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avatar for lasvegasescorts
lasvegasescorts
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19 years ago
Funny Chitown and unfortunately not all together untrue from the ones I have known LMAO
avatar for AbbieNormal
AbbieNormal
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19 years ago
Chitown, chandler, good one. Make sure to mention that your "gig" is open mike night and that with the prize money you'll probably buy drugs, 'cause $100 isn't enough to get an apartment anyway, and the van isn't so bad. I think we could start a new "how to pick up strippers" post.
avatar for AbbieNormal
AbbieNormal
•
19 years ago
Well, you're certainly doing your best to fill his role, and conveniently you returned the day he left. Forgive us if we harbor suspicions, but the character of your posts and the timing are a spectacular coincidence.
avatar for parodyman-->
parodyman-->
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19 years ago
sorry to dissapoint shadowcat, but I am not davids.
avatar for chitownlawyer
chitownlawyer
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19 years ago
only if you also tell her that you are in a local rock band, are are trying to scrounge enough money to get your bass out of hock before your show later that night.
avatar for chandler
chandler
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19 years ago
Beware, if you tell her you're broke and unemployed, she might ask you to move in with her.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
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19 years ago
If you don't like her and want her to move on, tell her you're unemployed and just filed bankruptcy. She'll leave and now you can move on to the dancers you like, before the word gets around.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
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19 years ago
getting back on topic, if you want the dancers to leave you alone.. Tell a few of them that you are out of money and don't have enough left to buy a dance. Word will spread fast and only the uninformed will bother you. Note: If you suddenly go back into the VIP room for lapdances, you blew your cover.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
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19 years ago
I will also disagree that no one on here is an expert. I believe shadowcat is an expert when it comes to his favorite club. :) (no offense meant to you shadowcat) Some other posters on here have been going to strip clubs before I was even born. If 30 or 40 years of experience doesn't make someone an expert, I don't know how skilled one has to be then.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
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19 years ago
On the other hand we may all be expert liars just giving enough truthful information to make something sound real.
avatar for lc693le500
lc693le500
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19 years ago
parodyman: Why do you find it necessary to pass judgment on others while stating your point of view? Can't you just say what you're gonna say without getting negative? Sure, this is just a strip club board, but we are all people behind these names. Just wondering.
avatar for parodyman-->
parodyman-->
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19 years ago
I don't think that you are an asshole. I think that you are one of those melvins who wants to be in on both sides of a debate. Your favorite word (from your posts) is advocate. You brandish it about like there is someone who has been preparing their whole life to defend a topic. This is just a strip club board. Nothing more or less. You need to take what is said here with a grain of salt. These are not expert opinions and the posters sure as shit arent experts on anything.
avatar for chandler
chandler
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19 years ago
No, I'm an asshole. Big difference. But enough about me...
avatar for parodyman-->
parodyman-->
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19 years ago
Chandler - you are a dork. Plain and simple.
avatar for parodyman-->
parodyman-->
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19 years ago
Jesus Christ Shadowcat. Just think what you could do with an Ice Cream truck and playground full of little kids.
avatar for lc693le500
lc693le500
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19 years ago
I'm writing all this stuff down, you know.

(don't have a printer)
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
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19 years ago
I've had a nude stripper on stage accept a cheetoh as her tip. Actually she requested it and wouldn't take a dollar since I already tipped her, lol. I believe I held up another cheetoh and tipped her again before she went off stage. That may be the first stripper I've fed on stage, lol.
avatar for chandler
chandler
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19 years ago
lc693le500: You might do best to wait until Suck a Nipple Month.
avatar for lc693le500
lc693le500
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19 years ago
Yeah, but I don't like getting smacked. OR thrown out.

Maybe you should only do that if you're a regular?
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