How would YOU Grade Club Visits?

avatar for minnow
minnow
Any place that interests me.
How would you guys grade following visits? Also, comments that you might add. SCENARIO#1) You decide to drop in on a slow afternoon in Club Podunk. Place looks like a dump, wait staff alternately inattentive, or obtrusive & rude at inoppurtune times. Lousy lighting, music too loud,cheap uncomfortable seats, Only 5 dancers, 4 dogs, and 1 hottie. BUT... YOU manage to get GFE nude lapdance from hottie. Your grade? SCENARIO#2) You visit Club Ritz Glitz on Sa night. Place is comfortable, lighting and music just right. Although you've already downed a Big Mac & aren't hungry, you notice sumptous & aromatic steak&lobster dinner of nearby patron. Speaking of nearby patrons, there's a lot if them, in fact, you're unable to get customary PR seat. ALL Dancers are 8-10,and there are a lot of them. Stageside mileage looks hot, but its a task wading through crowd to stage. But you do manage a Stevie, ask hottie for LD after set, she says yes, but ends up sitting with other guy "forever". You do manage to get other hotties attention, but attention wanes in VIP area, you get half airdance, half token contact. However, casual glimpses @ other couches reveal GFE like action. You stay for a while, but VIP gfe's just won't come out , and the dozen of other hotties you've asked are already "taken". You end up leaving club blue in more ways than 1. Your grade?

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avatar for chandler
chandler
19 years ago
Officer, I prefer the opposite, too, with only one or two exceptions. I prefer shaved pussies, and although I'm not completely sure I understand what you mean by "dirty dancing", it sounds like something I'd be cool with.
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Officer
19 years ago
FONDL--interesting how your preferences are the opposite of mine!
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Officer, my preferences are almost the exact opposite of yours. You and I would obviously rate clubs very differently. Which is why our reviews need to include a fair amount of detail.
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Officer
19 years ago
I guess everyone is looking for different things in a club visit. The most important thing to me is full nudity--I strongly prefer fully nude clubs to topless only clubs. I also want the girls to be as beautiful as possible. I also enjoy "dirty dancing," which I define as girls doing sexually explicit things on stage such as spreading their legs apart or masturbating when they are nude. I like it when girls are as sexually explicit as possible. I also want clubs to be brightly lit so I can see the girls--I have been to too many dark clubs. For me, the more girls the better--I would much rather go to a club with a lot of girls rather than a club with only a few girls. I like girls with big boobs and not flat chested girls. I also like shaved pussies. Since I almost never get private dances (too expensive), it doesn't make a difference to me whether the club has contact lap dances or not. So that's what I look for in a club.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Got to admire a man who's willing to sacrifice for the cause.
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chandler
19 years ago
Minnow, you buy corroborative dances for the purpose of reviewing? Man, that's dedication!
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Minnow, I agree that dancer quality, attitude, and mileage are very important factors in rating a club. But I'm not a real high mileage guy, moderate touching is OK with me, so the high mileage place doesn't get any higher rating than the medium place, but the low mileage place gets a lower rating. I also am more likely to rate a place on the general quality of all the dancers than on just one really good one. I don't rate higher for super fancy decor either, but I do rate lower if the place is a total dump. Same with pricing, I don't rate higher for a real bargain but I do rate lower for an overpriced place, especially if it's not absolutely top quality in every other respect. A very expensive place has to have absolutely top quality dancers with great attitudes to get a high rating from me. And that's pretty rare.
avatar for minnow
minnow
19 years ago
s10; Dancer quality, attitude, and mileage are very critical, though not nec. overriding factors when rating club. One not only has to read between the lines in review, but also check ind. reviewer for types of clubs & pref/biases expressed. I try to get multiple dances @ club just to be sure if 1st dance wasn't fluke, or abberation.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Chandler, that's a good point as long as there are other reviews. But for some of these tiny places mine may be the only one. Or the only other reviews may be from some guy who hangs out there regularly who will therefore probably rate it much higher than I would.
avatar for shadow10
shadow10
19 years ago
I have had both the experiences you mention, but I want to make my reviews here reflect the clubs, not the individual dancers I interact with. Individual dancers change more often than management, facilities, local ordinances, etc... and should not bear much weight when reviewing CLUBS. Also, dancers react differently to different patrons, and since I cant walk in your shoes, I have no way to know if they will be more into you than me. One 20 YO white hottie I know wont dance for blacks or mexicans, but gives me and my SO significant GFE (older white couple). Most very young dancers tend to go for the young pretty boys more than mature guys or couples like us. We all have preferences and predjuices.
That said, if the club has a heavy infulence in the attitude of the girls, just say so. And if the club sux, but there is one or more girls who make it worth your time, then rate the club poorly and mention the hot girls.
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chandler
19 years ago
FONDL & minnow: The point I think you both overlook is that your rating isn't the only one readers will see. If you fear that a great time with one stripper may be an anomoly, the other reviewers' ratings will bear that out.
avatar for minnow
minnow
19 years ago
Guys: Thanks for responses. I wasn't after "right, or wrong" answers, only real ones. Goes to show that one still has to read between the lines. Qualifying comments can be more revealing than overall grade, but don't want to read a "Dear Penthouse" novel either. The examples I depicted were composite mosaics of several different club visits. For myself, having GFE would inflate the grade 2 pts from what club would be absent GFE. Maybe 8-10 for chandler, but other Sc'er fending off the hogs would have a different grade. Thus , I try to evaluate the likelyhood of someone having similar experience as mine factored in somewhat into grade. Looks like this thread may be winding down, more varieties of HWYG?? to follow, anything to keep RL low on radar screen. I'm out.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Chandler, I guess you're right, my example is similar to #1, although I was actually thinking of a much worse place. For example, he described his place as having bad service, the places I was thinking have no service at all. For example I once went into a tiny nothing of a place near Pittsburgh, the place was a total dump, no drinks, no service of any kind, just someone collecting admission to a bare room with a plywood stage (to use the term loosely) and 2 dancers - one about 60 pounds overweight, the other gorgeous. I was the only customer. I had a great time with the hottie but it was one of the worst clubs I've ever been to and I'd never go back.

I usually rate such places almost as if the hottie wasn't there. If it is a 2 without the hottie, then it's only 3-4 with the hottie. Because when I rate places I start out with 10 and subtract for everything that's wrong with the place, and such a place will have a ton of bad things, hottie or not. So it gets a bad rating even if I had a good time.
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chandler
19 years ago
FONDL, your latest type is the same as minnow's #1, isn't it? That's one of my favorite situations - one smokin' chick in a dump full of skanks. I find it in several East St. Louis joints, where, as I've described before, I can easily hop from club to club. What's great is when the mileage there is off the charts, and the hot babe is no exception. In fact, I usually find that she gives the best dance, if only because she's got more assets to work with and more practice at putting them to work. I have no problem with rating that as high as an 8. Gotta leave a little headroom for clubs with more going for them.
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FONDL
19 years ago
In this place the laps are fully clothed and only 1-way touching at $30 per song. The cheapest VIP room is topless and limited touching for $175 per half hour. Drinks are also expensive.

The type of club that I always have trouble rating is the place that's a really disgusting dump but I meet a girl who I really like and have a great time. That's actually happened to me twice that I remember. If she hadn't been there it would be a 2 or 3 at best. How do you rate a place like that?
avatar for minnow
minnow
19 years ago
FONDL #3A ) Probably an 8. To get a 10 from bigfish, me having a great time w. good 2 way mileage, and reasonably good in other factors is a must! BTW, how much is too expensive. In last yr, I've had nude dances costing $10- $80(norm $25-$40), TL $10-$40(norm $10-$20). If more expensive than local norms, I may deduct 0.5-1pt. 3A) I'd probably deduct 2-3 pts off last visit. I try not to suffer fr. "halo effect", whereby reg. club has off nite. Won't inflate grade, will make comment abt off nite or trend.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
I guess the point is the relative importance of various features to you. I'm much more interested in attractive looking girls than in high contact. I'd rate a club with very attractive girls giving average LDs higher than a club full of average looking girls giving great LDs. I'm guessin that many of you would do the opposite. And much as I hate high prices, they don't bother me all that much if the quality of girls is great, but they do if the girls are average. I initially rated the club an 8; I dropped that to a 7 on a later review, and now that my fav is gone I'd probably give the place a 6.
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chandler
19 years ago
FONDL: I would give your #3a visit a middling grade, maybe a 6. I would downgrade it after the 2nd visit to maybe a 4, although I doubt if I would go back a 2nd time unless I heard that the dances had improved. I feel like I'm missing the point of your example, because it all seems kind of obvious.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
OK, how about another real-life example that I've had. Club #3. The first time (3a) you go it's a really fancy place with a very friendly low-hustle atmosphere and a lot of attractive dancers, and you find one you really like and spend some time with her. LDs are moderatey decent with some contact but not alot. The only thing you really don't like about the place is that it's quite expensive. But you really enjoy the girls and decide to go again a few months later (3b.) Everything is the same but they've hired a bunch of new dancers who aren't nearly as attractive, and because the previous group of attractive dancers were no longer able to make as much a bunch of them have left. Same place, same polcy, but the dancers aren't nearly as attractive and none of them particularly appeal to you. How do you rate these two visits?
avatar for ShotDisc
ShotDisc
19 years ago
club #1 would be a 6, club #2 would be a 2-3. the dance is the thing. If it was good, alot of other things can be overlooked. The second club sounds like a hustle joint full of "Barbies" and posers. i hate those.
avatar for chandler
chandler
19 years ago
In other words, I don't try to provide an all-purpose Walter Cronkite overview of the club, but more of a detailed, highly subjective snapshot.
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chandler
19 years ago
Many of my reviews are for clubs I've only visited once while travelling, because I need to submit reviews to keep my TUSCL membership active, and I don't feel like reviewing the same places over and over (unlike SOME people - nyuk nyuk). I don't hesitate to give a club an 8 or a 9 even if I only had a great time with one of the dancers. You could ask, what if she wasn't there, but the fact is that she WAS there, so that's all I can tell you about. Check the other reviews for that. The idea of discounting my own experience and trying to factor in what the club might be like under different circumstances is more punditry than I have time for. I don't pay much attention to other people's ratings, so I don't agonize over them myself.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Here's an example of my last point. Years ago I was a very steady regular at a tiny hole-in-the-wall club in southern Maryland. I was a regular there because they had a really great group of girls, one of whom became my ATF. A year or so later, she had a fight with the owner/manager and quit, and several of her closest friends quit too. And they had been the most attractive and popular girls in the place. The next several times I went back the quality of girls had gone way down, to the point that I stopped going there. The first time I rated that club I think I gave it a 7 or 8. If I rated it today it would be no more than a 4 unless things have changed alot. Same club, same owner/manager, same policies (although prices have gone up I hear), but entirely different girls.

A club with a lot of attractive girls will always get at least a 6 from me, no matter what else it has or doesn't have. A club full of fuglies will never get more than a 4 regardless of its other attributes. It's all about the girls.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Chandler, you're right about most of us preferring the GC in the example even though that's not what most of us like. It's not that it sounded so good but that the other place sounded so bad, and given the choice between the two the GC comes out on top. My main objections to most GCs are that they're often overpriced and fairly unfriendly places. But I have been to a few that are neither of those and I liked them alot. From the original description you can't tell if this GC is one of those or not. All popular places are tough to hook up in when they are really busy, so it's not fair to penalize a place on that account. And nothing is mentioned about prices. I've run into a really attractive and friendly dancer in a terrible place, but I still gave the palce a low rating and wound never return.

I think most of us go to clubs mainly in search of attractive girls and the number of them who are present will always be the main criteria in our ratings. So forget almost everything else; if most of the girls are dogs I will always rate that place lower than another place that has a lot of attractive girls. For me nothing else comes close in importance.
avatar for chandler
chandler
19 years ago
It's curious that most favor the gentlemen's club, although recent threads about our ideal club were nearly unanimous in rejecting GC trappings. I'll admit that I assumed some GC negatives that weren't in minnow's description, just based on the name (Ritz Glitz), the steak & lobster, and the brush-offs from dancers. Also, I've never been in a club where "ALL dancers are 8-10", but I've been in a few that were so described, and what I saw was maybe 5-8s with a lot of bleached hair and silicone.
avatar for AbbieNormal
AbbieNormal
19 years ago
I'd say there is a difference between rating the club and rating your visit (your personal experience). The first club would get a 5 for the club, but perhaps a 6 or 7 for the experience. The second club would rate higher, around an 8ish, but the visit would rate a 6, maybe a 7 for the eye candy factor. In general I prefer the first type of club, but with decent service and a few more dancers.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
19 years ago
club 1) a 4 or 5, average of a hot 10 dancer and a club that rates a lousy 1. I'm not interested in clubs with only one decent looking dancer unless I already know her and think she's the hottest girl around.

club 2) somewhere in the range of 5 to 7. It doesn't sound that great but I might be back if I have nothing better to do and I am in the area.
avatar for whatevergong82
whatevergong82
19 years ago
I'd give Club #1 a 7 because of the GFE experience with the hottie, but I'd warn people what to expect there.

For Club #2, I'd give a 6 if the service is lousy and overpriced, and a 7 if I got decent service from a 8-10 lapper, 8 if the service is hot (decent prices, good grinding from the stripper, interactive groping from the stripper without extras), 9 and up if you get extras from the hot babe.
avatar for chandler
chandler
19 years ago
FONDL: (I hadn't seen your post wihen I posted above.) I gathered that the attitude of the hottie at #1 was great (GFE), but at #2 the shabby treatment indicates a poor attitude, even if it's done with a smile.
avatar for chandler
chandler
19 years ago
I would give the #1 club a high rating. It sounds like my kind of place, and the dances were good. #2 sounds like a nightmare, both the club and the dances. I would rate it very low. I rate according to how well I enjoy the club, not how I imagine some other customer might. They can get a feel for that, hopefully, from the description.
avatar for FONDL
FONDL
19 years ago
Actually I've pretty much had experiences similar to both. I'd probably rate the first one a 3 or 4 and the second one a 6 or 7, but that would depend on pricing and the attitude of the girls, two of my main criteria in rating clubs and neither of which was mentioned. If the second place wasn't outrageously expensive and the girls had good attitudes, I'd try it again when it isn't so busy, and it might end up being an 8 or even a possible 9. But if it's overpriced the way most such clubs are, and/or a lot of the girls had attitudes, it would be a 6 or 7 for me.
avatar for lc693le500
lc693le500
19 years ago
Both of them are a 5.
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